Some people say that being successful is all about achieving financial freedom, able to do what you want to do in life, having a happy family, being a person with authority and power, a famous person, etc.

But really, what do you think is the true definition of “success”? I believe it depends on people. Our world encourages us to think of success as being able to dress in branded stuff, drive big cars, live in big houses …… our world huh? well, more like how the salesman and the marketing people would love us to think. After all, that is the image they want us to have in mind, and the direction they want us to go, so that they can earn money from us. Otherwise, who would want to buy things from them? Perhaps that is also why there are so many commercials and advertisements portraying “successful” looking people with big cars, branded clothing, etc.

No, that is not how it should be. My definition of “success” is not about driving big cars, living in big houses or having power and authority over other people. My definition of “success” is more family and community related. I will regard someone as successful in life if the person takes good care of his/her family and also his/her own community.

However, the reality is that more and more of our most talented people are moving towards the finance sector because that is where all the money can be located. The false image of “success” which is tied to luxury stuff, is linked to one thing and one thing only – MONEY. That is why being the most rewarding sector, most people would prefer to go in and earn as much money as possible. They want to be regarded as “successful” by other people – not for their contribution to the community, but for their money.

Sadly, this is how our world is becoming. But I still strongly believe that it’s not hopeless. We still have some passionate people who prefer to remain as scientists, artists, craftsmen, etc. They don’t earn as much, but to me, they’re more successful than most people because of their contribution to the community. They are doing their best to improve mankind and that’s the thing which I respect the most.

So if you still think that “success” is related to money, then perhaps you should try to change the way you think.

Remember that each of us only passes through this life ONCE, and it is really up to us to either earn as much money as possible for ourselves, or to help this world a better place to live in especially for our future generations. It’s our call.

p/s…. I notice that my writing skill is becoming worse after staying away from blogging for about a week. Sorry if my sentences don’t seem to make any sense for you.

For some people, taking all the credits of doing something comes naturally. They never think of all the efforts which have been put in by other people. To them, the whole thing is done by them and them alone. They believe they’ve done everything all by themselves and the others are just there to ‘assist’ them.

The sense of satisfaction goes to them. The credits go to them. And most importantly, the rewards go to them as well.

But do they really do everything by themselves? I seriously doubt so.

No matter how good a person is, even if he’s a genius, there’s no way he can accomplish something all by himself. If he is working on something alone and manages to complete it, he must have gotten the ideas from somewhere and someone must have taught him the skills to do so. If he did his own research and self-study, then someone must have came out with the tutorials and articles to assist him. So one way or another, someone must have helped him out during the whole ordeal.

That is why I personally feel that for someone to claim he did everything by himself, he must be living in his own world or he’s just plain selfish (or self-centered). In my opinion, we should learn to give credits wherever and whenever applicable. Don’t be stingy with it. Say thank you, show your gratitude and appreciation, and acknowledge the efforts made by others in helping us to be successful.

Yes, I must admit that it’s definitely easy to say “I did everything so I owe nothing to anyone” but….seriously, did you really do everything by yourself? You don’t live alone in this world, you know. So stop being so self-centered. Learn to acknowledge others.

p/s…. in case you’re wondering, this is not a rant post. just a post to ask people to be more thankful and learn to express their gratitude.

Most people don’t love to fail. It hurts their ego, their pride. And their friends will shun them and call them a failure, or maybe, their friends will do that as far as THEY believe so.

But there are cases where people who have failed try to make a comeback, only to be brought down again by the public. Well, how many times have you heard about failed entrepreneurs who could not land a job not because of their ego, but because of the fear which their interviewers have. “If this guy has failed in his own business, he’s probably a failure elsewhere too”. “He has failed before, I doubt he’s good”.

Somehow, a lot of Asian bosses have this kind of mentality – to stereotype failed entrepreneurs. =_=

To be honest, I feel there’s really nothing wrong with failures. In fact, failures actually help one grows and learns more than anything else – including success. Here are some reasons I can think of:

• People actually learn more by failing and not succeeding.
• When you’ve failed and are at the bottom, you can look up and see where you’re standing and where you want to go. If you are at the top, you can only look down, and you do tend to feel afraid due to the height. Thus, you become less adventurous. For example, big companies who become too cautious and afraid of changes, and end up being replaced by smaller and younger companies.
• Failures encourage you, and success fuels your ego. In other words, failures make you a humble person but successes can make you a proud person.
• People who are used to failures are not afraid of hiccups and obstacles. But people who are used to being successful can react quite differently.

Obviously, the pros far outweigh the cons here. But if you really want to look into it, then look at the type of failures and the reasons behind those failures. Why did the person fail? Carelessness? Being too adventurous? Bad luck? Or is it  something not so ethical? Identify the root causes and make the decision whether you can accept such failures, and whether you think the person could learn from such failures.

By the way, failing is good but sometimes, failing can also be very expensive. There are times when failure is not an option at all.

The important thing here is to plan for success but if things don’t go as planned, don’t worry too much. You will still gain something out of it. And if you’re a leader, always leave space for people to make mistakes because everyone can learn more by making mistakes. Penalizing someone who makes mistakes (not those ultra expensive mistakes) is a big NO these days.

Remember, creativity come out from making mistakes most of the time. If you penalize people for making mistakes, you are limiting people’s creativity and that could be the biggest mistake you’ve ever made.

Many people associate success with hard work. Our parents have told us so. Our relatives have told us so. And even our teachers have told us so. But how true is that?

In a way, it’s true that in order to be successful, one needs to work harder than usual. However, the meaning of the term “work hard” has often being misinterpreted. Most people think that working hard means you need to dedicate an awful amount of time into whatever that you are working on – be it your day job, personal projects, pursuing your dreams, etc. But that doesn’t take away the fact that each of us has only 24 hours a day (do tell me if you have more than that).

So what does this mean? It means your work life balance will be gone. You will spend more time in your work than other things. Your relationship with the people around you might become sour since you just do not have enough time for them. This is all because of one reason – you need to work hard in order to be successful and achieve your dreams..or at least, that’s what most of us believe in. If there’s no hard work, there’s no success.

But if you’ve been doing this all this while, I can only say “Good for you, but sorry to say that should not be the way”.

In my opinion, success should not be associated with the “hard work” that we all know. Perhaps it’s better if we redefine the term “hard work” to “100% focus“.

I notice that most often than not, people who claim they are working hard, are distracted by other less important things. They can spend 14 hours a day working on something, but in between that 14 hours, they basically spend 4 or 5 hours doing something which is entirely unrelated. Things like reading articles, nonsense emails, blogging or anything which is not directly in line with the direction. These things should be ignored. You can do them when you’re free.

So here’s the equation:

success = hard work

hard work = 100% focus

success = 100% focus

Remember that even if you are working 14 hours a day, it cannot be regarded as “hard work” if you are actually not giving 100% focus to the things that matter. So stop complaining to people that you need to work so hard (thus neglecting your work life balance) in order to achieve certain objectives. Start looking at what are the things that you normally do in that 14 hours. Cut out what is not necessary and focus on what is important. I am pretty sure that you can actually achieve work life balance again after that.

And replacing those unnecessary things with a proper work life balance (like accompanying your loved ones, or do some gardening, yoga, etc) is definitely a good thing to do.

Last but not least…… always remember that you are human and not a machine. Work life balance IS very important. So start focusing on the things that matter…get done with them and turn your attention to yourselves and the people that you care.

p/s…. and of course, luck, opportunities and circumstances also play an important role in achieving success. but that’s another topic altogether.

Some people (especially Asians) like to compare with others. Some say it’s for them to remain competitive, while some just want to make themselves feel good (or bad, if they are the one losing out). Either way, I don’t feel it’s a good thing to do because this kind of comparison can go on and on and on. Forever.

But seriously, I don’t quite understand about all these comparison thingy. What’s the big deal if you are driving a Proton and your good friend is driving a BMW? Does that mean he is leading a happier life than you? Does that mean he is more successful? Does that mean you should work harder so that you can drive a BMW as well? Or you just want to drive a BMW so that people will start to look at you with respect (and jealousy)?

Think about those questions for a moment and see if you can come out with some answers.

Besides asking yourselves those questions, there are 2 more questions which you should ask. 2 very important questions.

• Will owning a BMW give you long term happiness?
• What is the thing which matters the most to you? Is it the BMW or is it something else?

Answer those 2 questions truthfully. Now, try asking yourselves again, do you really think that the BMW is something you really really want?

If yes, good luck. End of story. You can continue with whatever that you’re doing now, including dreaming of the BMW.

If no, then you are on the right page and welcome to my world.

The thing about comparing with other people is that it is a never ending process which will only make you feel discontent with what you have. Some of my friends said that it is how they push themselves to higher limit. But in my opinion, this “higher limit” is not something which can be represented by nicer cars, bigger houses or the number of private jets. It is more like doing what you are passionate about or doing something which you strongly believe in, and be successful with it.

THAT is what I call “higher limit” – or what most people call as “successful”.

By the way, if you are a self-motivator, you don’t need any external factors in order to push yourselves further. Rather than comparing with other people, I believe comparing with your previous achievements would be a better option. But don’t ever forget about what you have currently. Appreciate it, be content and be grateful. Only push forward because of your need to improve yourselves as a person, not because someone else has bigger car than you do.