1. One of them is my ex-colleagues. I dropped him a message in MSN (not sure if he’s reading this) and asked how is he doing. He told me life sux when one is not a millionaire. My immediate reply (yes, I didn’t even spend more than 10 seconds) was that he might still think life sux when he is a millionaire but not a billionaire. And he agreed. I can sense he’s under some financial pressures but well, is life really all about money? What happens to contentment? What happens to appreciating what you have?
2. Then few days later, the other friend of mine related to me about his baby daughter having fever. It was quite bad, around 39 degrees. And for someone that young, it was very dangerous. Fortunately she has recovered. My friend then decided to try and get a thermometer in case the daughter gets fever again in the future. However, he soon found out that the cheapest thermometer is around RM 140. My friend is a very thrifty person since he alone has to support his entire family. His wife is working but her salary is not enough to cover her own expenses. She spends a lot on dresses, bags and other branded goods. So in the end, both my friend and his wife decided not to buy the thermometer. Oh yea, my friend did not know how his wife spends her salary. =_=

Notice what is wrong with these 2 scenarios? I’m sure you can.

The first one lost track of what matters most in life and keeps chasing after money. It’s a typical thing that most of us would do, myself included. Let’s be honest, money is always important but if we allow the lack of money to ruin our life and label life as SUX, then it’s pretty obvious something has gone wrong. Our life should not be dictated by the amount of money we have. There are still plenty of things that cannot be bought by money. Why not learn to accept what we have, enjoy our life and also learn to appreciate things as they are? Why want to make ourselves suffer by keep thinking that life’s sux if we’re not millionaire? And most importantly….what’s next once you’ve achieved the status of millionaire? Billionaire? Then what’s after that?

The second one, on the other hand, lost track of what matters more to him – his daughter. Is his daughter’s well-being less important than RM 140? It’s not wrong to be thrifty but there are things that should not be avoided. And what about his wife? Why is she willing to spend thousands on luxury goods but not RM 140 on the daughter? Will they be happy if their daughter gets seriously ill? What if something bad happens to the poor girl? Will they look back upon this stupid decision of theirs and regret?

Sometimes, it saddens me to see how money is changing the world. People have forgotten what matters most to them. Either that, or they have defined the wrong meaning of ‘happiness’. Yes, we can’t survive without money but no, money is not everything in this world.

I recently finished Mitch Albom’s Have a Little Faith. It’s a very good book and in one of the pages, they talked about how a baby gets born to this world with a clenched fist. Because it is human nature to try and grab everything we can. But when we leave this world, our hand will be pale and empty.

Because, at the end of the day, there’s nothing we can bring together with us except for 1 thing – the memories our loved ones have of us while we’re still here. And how long those memories last would depend on what we do while we’re here.

Theoretically speaking, yes.

But let’s imagine the following scenario. You bought a brand new mobile phone. It probably cost you around $3000. So on the first week, you went to have dinner with your relatives. As you were chatting with your brother, his son took your phone and played around with it. Then his daughter went to snatch the phone from him….and they two started to fight….and they dropped your $3000 phone right in front of you.

Fortunately, your phone can still be used…but with a large crack on the LCD screen.

What will be your reaction? Well, if you are like most of us out there, you will be furious! What are these kids doing?! It’s your hard-earned money and thanks to their playfulness, it’s gone! So you go on and unleash your anger on them, scolding them right in front of everyone.

Imagine the emotional damage you would’ve done, if you really did that. The wound would be so deep that they no longer dare to play while you’re around. They’re just kids after all. And they are your precious niece and nephew.

Yes, it’s difficult because our society trains us to focus more on things, and less on people. But are things really so much more important than people? I seriously doubt so.

So the next time someone you really love and care about, breaks one of your precious things….. don’t erupt in anger. Keep your cool. Stay calm. You still need to tell the person you’re slightly disappointed but it’s not really a big deal. Don’t unleash your wrath on the person as if he/she just destroys your world….because he/she didn’t. It’s just a THING.

Remember….every new thing will become old even if nobody breaks it…. but an emotional wound will likely stay there for a long long time…. much longer than that mobile phone of yours.

This lesson is something I’ve learnt from the late Prof Randy Pausch. He talked about this in his book “The Last Lecture”. A recommended read.

Hope it helps.

Anyway, it’s obvious that spending is wayyyy easier than saving nowadays. That’s the habit that has been instilled by the big corporations of the world. And that’s the habit which might pull us down if we’re not careful enough.

Some of us spend like there’s no tomorrow. We have ZERO savings and we never plan for the future. For some, they would say “tomorrow might not come, so why worry so much?”. But sad to tell you the truth, tomorrow will most likely come whether you like it or not. And tomorrow might even bring some nasty surprises for you – road accidents, theft, robbery, hefty medical bills, just to name a few.

Faced with all these nasty surprises of today, what would you do? Remember that they will get worse tomorrow, if you don’t solve them now. This is where all those money you’ve saved up come into the picture. There are times when we just need money to pay for urgent things like this. For example, if your son is down with fever (touch wood), and he’s not covered by any medical insurance, and you’re very poor. What can you do? Borrow money from a friend to pay for your son’s medical fee? Isn’t that pathetic? We’re talking about few hundreds, and you can’t even afford that!

Another example, I was accompanying my dad to see a doctor the other day. A couple looked very worried and sad when they came out from the doctor’s room. The girl was sick and the doctor told them to undergo an operation in the nearby specialist hospital. But they did not have the money and they were not covered by insurance. What would you do, if you were in that position?

Some of you might say “such unfortunate thing will never happen to me”, but how sure are you? We can’t predict the future. We can only learn to save for the future, just in case shit happens and we have the means to overcome them. So start planning and saving for your future. Think long-term. Do you really need to get that new car? Do you really need to spend so much on this dress? And, can you survive if one day, you’re being hit by a very serious illness (touch wood)? Can your dependents survive as well?

Think about it.

But really, what do you think is the true definition of “success”? I believe it depends on people. Our world encourages us to think of success as being able to dress in branded stuff, drive big cars, live in big houses …… our world huh? well, more like how the salesman and the marketing people would love us to think. After all, that is the image they want us to have in mind, and the direction they want us to go, so that they can earn money from us. Otherwise, who would want to buy things from them? Perhaps that is also why there are so many commercials and advertisements portraying “successful” looking people with big cars, branded clothing, etc.

No, that is not how it should be. My definition of “success” is not about driving big cars, living in big houses or having power and authority over other people. My definition of “success” is more family and community related. I will regard someone as successful in life if the person takes good care of his/her family and also his/her own community.

However, the reality is that more and more of our most talented people are moving towards the finance sector because that is where all the money can be located. The false image of “success” which is tied to luxury stuff, is linked to one thing and one thing only – MONEY. That is why being the most rewarding sector, most people would prefer to go in and earn as much money as possible. They want to be regarded as “successful” by other people – not for their contribution to the community, but for their money.

Sadly, this is how our world is becoming. But I still strongly believe that it’s not hopeless. We still have some passionate people who prefer to remain as scientists, artists, craftsmen, etc. They don’t earn as much, but to me, they’re more successful than most people because of their contribution to the community. They are doing their best to improve mankind and that’s the thing which I respect the most.

So if you still think that “success” is related to money, then perhaps you should try to change the way you think.

Remember that each of us only passes through this life ONCE, and it is really up to us to either earn as much money as possible for ourselves, or to help this world a better place to live in especially for our future generations. It’s our call.

p/s…. I notice that my writing skill is becoming worse after staying away from blogging for about a week. Sorry if my sentences don’t seem to make any sense for you.

Why do people want more and more money in the first place? Some, to survive. But for many others, to buy whatever they want and to achieve their dreams. But what if we are already content with what we have and don’t need new cars, houses, gadgets, or anything new for that matter? And what if we can actually survive for long term even without that unlimited supply of money?

Will we still want more money? And if there’s no need for extra money, will people resort to not-so-nice activities including hurting other people (robberies, extortions, etc)? Will people still say money is the root of all evil?

To be honest, I believe that if everyone can be content with what they have and occasionally spend some money to reward yourselves……the thirst for money will not be that strong. Because you won’t have much use for that much money anyway.

But if you are not content with what you have, and are always waiting to become rich (millionaire type of rich)…..then I can only say good luck to you. Just remember that if you don’t control your greediness, it will definitely bring you down one day.

Conclusion? To me, money is not the root of all evil but our own greediness is.

Note: and if you’re telling me that you want more money so that you can live happily. Then I can tell you, money may and may not bring you the happiness you want. But most likely, it won’t help much. As usual, it is easier for us to look “outside” for a way to make ourselves happy……..and not “inside”.

p/s….. to certain people who are already rich. Money is never a problem to them. But they will look elsewhere to fulfill the greediness within them. Seek for higher position, more power, more control, etc. All these can be considered as behaviors which are supposed to fuel their greediness.

Once upon a time, there was this young merchant who has been regarded as a genius by his relatives and friends. At a young age of 20, he already has its own business and led a comfortable life. Although he’s considered pretty rich by many, he has never look down on his relatives and friends. That’s why many of them love n respect him.

One day, he decided to be more adventurous. He decided to move out from this small town and expand his business in the big city 5 hours drive away.

When he was in the big city, his business did well and he instantly became a popular figure among his new friends. But as the saying goes, good things don’t last forever. Few years later, his business failed and he was declared bankrupt. He was forced to sell his properties. But what hurt him most was that all of his so-called good friends have disappeared.

Left without a choice, he went back to his hometown, back to his relatives and old friends. He was surprised when the people there started to offer help to him (provide temporary accommodation, food, money) even though all of them realized he’s penniless. He was deeply touched.

He asked one of his old friends “Why are you still helping me? I got nothing to offer you now that I am penniless.”

His friend replied “Who cares about your money? We’re friends, remember? So don’t be so calculative!”

I’m not sure if this story helps you but this is actually what I’ve realized during my trip back to Johor.

In big cities like Kuala Lumpur, most people look at your properties – houses, cars, money, phones, etc. If you wear a cheapskate t-shirt into the LV shop, you will most probably be ignored. People just don’t care who YOU are. They only care what you HAVE. It’s a very realistic world.

On the other hand, in smaller towns where people know each other well, it’s all about YOU. They will respect and treat you well if you are nice to them. If you’re an asshole, you will still be treated like an asshole even if you’re wearing a Rolex or driving a BMW. What people care is the relationship you’ve built over the years with them.

Heck, even one of the electricians who I know quite well in PJ told me exactly the same thing! Oh, he’s from a small town as well.

Conclusion? Actually the things that you have outside (what you wear, what you drive, etc) are not as important as what you have inside (your personality, your past deeds, your kindness, etc). So if you think you can use money to buy respect…well, maybe it can work in big cities, but it hardly work in small towns (except against few greedy folks).

p/s…. good and true friends are hard to come by. These people are those who will still stand by you even if you’re in a difficult time…..irregardless of where you are. They will not ignore you even if you are penniless. If you have friends like this, always cherish them.

But seriously, I don’t quite understand about all these comparison thingy. What’s the big deal if you are driving a Proton and your good friend is driving a BMW? Does that mean he is leading a happier life than you? Does that mean he is more successful? Does that mean you should work harder so that you can drive a BMW as well? Or you just want to drive a BMW so that people will start to look at you with respect (and jealousy)?

Think about those questions for a moment and see if you can come out with some answers.

Besides asking yourselves those questions, there are 2 more questions which you should ask. 2 very important questions.

• Will owning a BMW give you long term happiness?
• What is the thing which matters the most to you? Is it the BMW or is it something else?

Answer those 2 questions truthfully. Now, try asking yourselves again, do you really think that the BMW is something you really really want?

If yes, good luck. End of story. You can continue with whatever that you’re doing now, including dreaming of the BMW.

If no, then you are on the right page and welcome to my world.

The thing about comparing with other people is that it is a never ending process which will only make you feel discontent with what you have. Some of my friends said that it is how they push themselves to higher limit. But in my opinion, this “higher limit” is not something which can be represented by nicer cars, bigger houses or the number of private jets. It is more like doing what you are passionate about or doing something which you strongly believe in, and be successful with it.

THAT is what I call “higher limit” – or what most people call as “successful”.

By the way, if you are a self-motivator, you don’t need any external factors in order to push yourselves further. Rather than comparing with other people, I believe comparing with your previous achievements would be a better option. But don’t ever forget about what you have currently. Appreciate it, be content and be grateful. Only push forward because of your need to improve yourselves as a person, not because someone else has bigger car than you do.

But little do they know that nothing last forever in this world, including the good and nice things that they are enjoying now.

For example, one of my sister’s friend has been working for this small company for 10 years. He’s one of the founders, and his job is basically leading the subordinates. When asked about his future plans, he would reply “I’ve been working here for 10 years now, where else can I go? I guess I’ll just receive my monthly salary in this comfortable place until my retirement”. 6 months after he said that line, he was retrenched.

Another example, a story I’ve read from a book. There was this pretty lady who was looking for a rich husband and few years ago, she finally got her wish fulfilled. Her husband was a business owner and earned 5 figures salary every month. All she has to do was to go shopping (her kids were sent to the childcare centers). But thing took a drastic change one day, her husband got a stroke and was paralyzed. It was a big blow and a life changing incident for her. After all, she has been relying on her husband (and her husband only) all these years. But she has no choice. She has to take over the business without any business knowledge, and tried to survive by doing everything by herself. Fortunately, her husband’s condition improved few years later and she is now faring a lot better than before. It was a big change, but she took up the challenge bravely.

I believe many of you might have heard of stories such as the 2 above especially after the recession hit in 2008 and 2009 – former CEO driving a cab, a 50-year-old house wife of a former millionaire begging for a job which only pays 2k per month, a CEO who thought his products were so great that he refused to improvise and believed clients would still flock over to buy the products for many years to come…only to have his business closed down a year later due to lack of sales, etc.

The thing is, incidents like this do happen quite often in our world. Well, even if you try to live on a hill for 10 years, things around you will still change even if you don’t. The serenity and peacefulness of the forest area surrounding the hill that you once enjoyed could’ve been gone, replaced by…erm….. a motor way… a highway…or maybe a nuclear test site.

Maybe that is why the motivational gurus or career and business experts always tell people not to get too comfortable with the things they have now. I know it’s good to appreciate what you have. In fact, that is what I’ve been telling people to do. However, being appreciative and grateful are not the same as being too comfortable. If you think that every good thing will remain as they are now few years down the road, then perhaps it’s time to change your mindset. And in this case, being stubborn certainly does not help.

And don’t you worry too much. Good things can still be there forever, if you are willing to make the efforts to retain them. Improve yourselves, work harder and smarter, etc. That is what I’m going to do to keep the good things I have now, and I believe everyone should do the same too.

P/S …. Actually, this assumption that “good things will last foever” has been one of the main factors behind the fall of some of mankind’s greatest empires. Many leaders of the past always thought that their empire would remain the strongest in years to come WITHOUT any improvement. History has proved them wrong. Ahem, I think I’ve watched too much Discovery channel.

Let’s be honest, most people are not content with what they have and that includes their salary. And most people also think that they are the one working harder than most of the people in the team. So when the news of a peer/colleague receiving a promotion or a higher salary than themselves, all sorts of negative feelings will appear.

“Why is that idiot getting higher salary than me when all he does is talk talk talk?”

“Why is the new guy getting the promotion ahead of old employees like us?”

“Why is he getting a higher increment when our job role is the same?”

Questions like these will keep popping up in the head all the time. It’s normal. After all, we’ve put in so much hard work for the company and it seems like we’re not being appreciated (funnily, some people who always spend their office hours chatting and Facebook-ing also think they’re not being appreciated enough). I’ve been through that before on a couple of occasions and man, I was pretty pissed back then.

But things have changed, and I believe I’ve changed.

Over the years, I’ve given much thought on this issue and I can tell you it’s a very common issue which exists in every organization. But rather than making my life miserable by asking myself questions which I could not answer, I prefer to ask myself a few questions and also try my best to answer them HONESTLY (without any discrimination and with extreme fairness + calmness). It wouldn’t help if you answer these questions when you’re jealous of some people.

• Is the guy really better than me? Or perhaps my performance is actually not-so-good?
• Is there anything I can do to match him or even better than him?
• How much time do I have left until the next performance evaluation? I need to use those time to improve myself.
• Is there a need to talk to my supervisor regarding this? Maybe my supervisor is not happy with something I did which I’m not aware of? Remember, this is to have an honest heart-to-heart talk with your supervisor and not a confrontation.
• Maybe your supervisor has some ideas on how you can perform better in the future?
• Perhaps there are something which this guy has to do, without your knowledge? Maybe he really did go that extra mile?
• Will you be happy after the promotion or the increment? Will you be happy with your new job role or you rather stay where you are now? After all, money is not everything.
• How much is this affecting your mood and overall well-being? Do you think you’re wasting too much time thinking about something you have no answer of?
• And most importantly, do you think there is something that you can really do to change the situation?

Among those questions above, I find the last 2 to be the most important question. If there is really nothing you can do to change the situation, then why do you even bother to think about it? If there IS indeed something that you can do, then do it and change the situation. Get out from that emotional hell you’ve put yourselves into.

For me, even though I know there are people who earn more than me, I don’t really think much about it. Perhaps they are indeed better than me in certain aspects of things. All I can do is to commit myself to do my work, and to get the expected reward from my company. The important thing is that the company or my supervisor should appreciate what I do, and I myself must like what I do.

Whether the company appreciate that guy’s work more than mine, is not really something I can control.

And when I think there’s really no other option for me…..then I might just go find another job and find someone who I think will really appreciate me.

Remember, it’s not worth torturing yourselves by feeling lousy or bad especially on things that you have no answer to. If it’s within your control, then change it. If not, then just ignore it.

DISCLAIMER — i don’t Facebook that much in office. Nothing much in there except other people’s photos. =_=

Yes if

• You are being tied under an employment contract which does not allow you to leave. I was in such a contract during my fresh graduate time – a 6 month contract which would require me to pay the money back (6 months salary) to the company if I were to leave.
• You have a bond with the company. This is usually activated if the company sends you for trainings. Be careful of such bonds because some of them can be ridiculously unfair.
• Or there is/are clauses in your employment contract which does not allow you to leave the company. Always read the employment letter properly before signing.

Otherwise, it’s a big NO. Companies do not have any right to stop you from resigning as long as you

• Serve the notice period.
• Pay back any money which you owe the company – bonds, notice periods, etc.

The reason I’m writing this post is because there are people who actually asked me what should they do if their bosses do not allow them to resign. Fact is, your bosses cannot stop you from resigning under normal circumstances. The labor law is on your side this time.

So for those inexperienced people, don’t worry. You should serve your notice period on the day you submit your resignation letter. Again, this is under normal circumstances and assuming you don’t have any debts/loans/bonds with the company.

If you are not sure, feel free to contact the labor department.

Contact number for local labour offices in Malaysia

or simply go to the official web site.

Labour Department Peninsular Malaysia

p/s… if you’re dealing with recruiters/headhunters, consult them because they know the labor law pretty well and they know how to deal with such situations.