“If only I could be as rich as Bill Gates”.

“If only I could be as smart as Einstein”.

“If only I have as big a house as he has”.

“If only I could be like him….”

Most people like to think that way… if only they can be like someone else. If only they can have what someone else has.

Yes, all they do is to dream of having other people’s ability or luck. They never really think of themselves. Neither do they think FOR themselves. What do they really want for themselves? What do they really wish to achieve in life? What are their objectives in life? Questions like these are far more important than all the fake illusions of being someone else.

Also, it’s important for people to learn to appreciate themselves – their physical self, their talents, their abilities, their uniqueness. They might not be as rich as Bill Gates in terms of $$$, but they can be richer in some other terms. They might not be as artistic as Van Gogh, but they can be more artistic in some other areas as long as they believe in themselves. Yes, each of us has a role to play in this world. Van Gogh and Bill Gates have their own roles…so do you, as long as you….

… believe in yourself. If you don’t believe in your own abilities and keep hoping you can be like someone else, then the future does look bleak for you. Because in the long run, the person which you want to become so much, might end up becoming your biggest obstacle to your true self. You will be forever living under the person’s shadow and the biggest success you can ever achieve, is to be another “him”. I’m sure you deserve more than that.

So stop imagining and hoping you can be like someone else. Start believing your own self. Think what you really want to do in your life. Set up short term and long term life goals. Then work towards these goals.

Last but not least, just be yourself…. your unique self. You deserve to live in this world as yourself, not behind another person’s shadow.

Whenever I asked my friends what is their new year resolution, 8 out of 10 of them would answer “to earn more money” to which I would give a typical response – how much ‘more’ is your more?

I’m sure most of us have goals, be it for the new year or for our life in general. However, what we don’t realize is that some of these goals might not be achievable. These unachievable goals CAN be achievable, if only we make the finishing line less vague. Want to earn more money this year? How much more? 20k? 50k? 100k? Know what is the finishing line so that you can run towards that direction. Most importantly, know what you truly want.

Here are few examples:

• earn more money in 2010 –> saves up to 20k in 2010
• exercise regularly –> go to gym for workout at least 3 times a week and for 1 hour each session
• spend more time with family –> reserve weekends strictly for family
• eat healthily –> say NO to all junk food and tidbits. Go vegetarian for 3 days in a week
• spend more time with hobbies –> wake up 1 hour earlier each day, and use that 1 hour for the hobby
• lower down cholesterol level –> lower down cholesterol by 30%
• lose weight –> lose 3 kg in 2010

I know for certain cases, this can be pretty difficult but for most, it can be done. And I dare to say it’s better to do it this way so that we can track our progresses. Want to earn 20k in 2010? But only achieved 10k? Never mind, let’s push it to 2011 and mark it to 25k.

This also helps us to know where we stand, and whether our next goal is within our ability to achieve.

So go and have a look at your goals once again, and try to see if there’s any goal which is too vague for you to achieve. Change them. Be specific. Be clear. And always track your progress. Remember that without any progress, you will soon lose motivation to do anything. Good luck and hope it helps.

I told a friend via MSN just a few days ago that I am planning to move slowly towards business and managerial role. The friend (who is a recruitment agent), without hesitation, replied “You cannot do it“. I could feel my blood pressure shot up at that moment.

Yes, I was angry. Angry not because she told me I can’t do it. I do know my own capabilities pretty well and it’s obvious that with my current skills and experiences, I will not able to secure a managerial opportunity. This, I know clearly and probably better than everyone else. What I was really angry of was the way she replied me.

Imagine this, you have this big idea and have a solid plan on how to make it happen. Then you approached a friend, only to receive a blunt reply from him – “you cannot do it”. That’s very demotivating, isn’t it? I do understand that some people do seriously think that you cannot do it, but rather than pouring cold water on you, maybe it’s better to encourage you in a nicer way or at least explain to you why he thinks it’s a bad idea? Because at the end of the day, the reason you approach your friends and family members is to ask for their support or opinions.  Not to make yourself feeling more depressed and demotivated. That is why something such as “you cannot do it”, is the last thing you should hear from someone close to you.

The same thing should also be done when someone approaches you to talk about his plan, dreams, goals, etc. Be a good listener even if you cannot help. Just be there and LISTEN. If you feel like telling him what you feel about the whole thing, put it in a nicer way. Give your honest assessment and also some ideas as to how you think the person can solve the problems that you’re worried about. Don’t ever say “you cannot do it” or anything which holds no meaning other than to demotivate the person. Because if you want to demotivate the person, then you’re better off not saying anything because you won’t be helping the person at all.

I know that whatever I’ve said here is pretty obvious and anyone with common sense should be able to realize it. But I also know that to realize something and to do it at the same time, can be quite difficult for some people. For this group of people, they need to realize how much weight their words carry and what are the impacts their words have on the life of other people. If they sincerely want to help, then don’t demotivate people. If they don’t want to help, then just shut up.

Conclusion, I believe that friends and family members should always be there to help and support each other. If someone approaches you to explain his plans, goals and dreams, that means he trusts you and you should respect that trust. Help him out. Motivate him. Explain to him. If you cannot do all those, then the only thing you can do is not to demotivate him.

Throughout the history of our world, big dreams have always been our source of inspiration – the first man to walk on moon, the invention of the telephone, the wheel, etc. We just love big dreams, don’t we? Something for us to look up to, and something for us to create and work hard for.

The good news is, it’s not difficult at all to come out with big dreams. In fact, anyone can come out with one…or more than one at any given time!

Now the bad news is, most people won’t be able to achieve them. Not because they’re unlucky or not talented, but because of the way they approach big dreams. Most of the people will just go all-out towards the big dreams.

And what happens next? They become tired very fast and give up. And the big dreams? Gone. They’ll be too demotivated to carry on…so they take a break. Few weeks or few months later, they would come back STRONGER than ever and set new big dreams. Then they go all out towards it (again)….and soon, history would repeat itself – they become exhausted and demotivated to carry on.

See the issue here? The issue here is that people tend to set up big dreams and then just dive straight into it….without dividing them into smaller portions. It’s like saying you want to climb Mount Everest and just head straight into it, hoping you can conquer it within a single day. Or saying you want to earn $1000 per day by blogging, and start to write blog posts… hoping that people would notice you in a week’s time. Well, all I can say is…. you have the right direction (the big dream) but you’re taking the wrong and unplanned approach.

The thing is, we human love to see progress and we feel motivated by it. If we don’t see any progress then sooner or later, we’ll become demotivated and give up. This is the thing with big dreams. We set an end goal which is too difficult for us to achieve easily, so we become burnout pretty soon because there’s no way for us to notice any significant progress towards our goal.

What we should do then, is to divide the so-called big dream, or end goal, into many smaller parts. Set them up in a way that you can accomplish them easily. Once completed, you will feel more motivated and move on to the next one. And before you know it, all these smaller parts have actually managed to help you move closer to that big dream of yours. And you still have a lot of energy left for the final push!

Set up the big dream

Separate it into smaller milestones

Work on the milestones one by one

Once you’re done with 1 milestone, stop a while and notice the progress. Gather as much motivation as you can from there.

Continue with the next milestone

So remember, everyone (me, you, your family members, friends, bosses) loves to see progress. If there’s no progress, you will get bored and tired easily, and eventually you will give up. Learn to separate a big end goal into smaller ones that you can achieve. Make use of the progress you make to push yourselves further.

Last but not least, always bear in mind that pursuing your big dreams is never going to be easy. It’s going to be a long long journey so you will need to gather any form of positive energy you can get during the journey. Oh, and don’t forget that pursuing that big dream of your should be fun and exciting…not tiring and boring.

Few months ago, I went to this job interview with a local consulting firm. I’ve done my research on the company beforehand, and realized that the company’s operation is pretty much similar to Accenture’s. And that has made me even more curious about how the small consulting firm is planning to compete with a company as big as Accenture.

Here’s the question I’ve asked the interviewer during the job interview.

Alvin : Mr XYZ, I understand that this company’s operation is pretty similar to Accenture.

XYZ : *looks surprised* You’re right. We’re trying to be like the big boys in consulting world and one of them is Accenture.

Alvin : Hmm, I’m a bit curious here. How do your company actually differentiate itself then? Because without differentiating itself, the company is actually competing with Accenture, isn’t it?

Maybe that’s the finishing blow I gave because the interviewer failed to answer my question after that. And he got rather pissed at that last remark.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong for a small company to try and be like Accenture or any big companies for that matter. But for me, setting a company as your final goal also means you will never reach there. Remember the old saying “aim for the stars, so that you can land on the moon”? It’s like you set something as your final goal, and you work and work towards it but never manages to achieve that target. And even if you are the lucky few who managed to achieve it, what’s next then? Aim for something bigger than Accenture?

To be honest, if I were the client, I will ask myself these questions.

• What is so special about this company if compared with Accenture?
• Are they providing cheaper solution? If yes, how much cheaper? Will the quality be compromised? If it’s not providing cheaper solution, what makes them think I won’t go for Accenture instead?

Let’s face it. Most people want the original stuff as long as they can afford it. So the only bargaining chip you have here is to be cheaper. But how much cheaper do you want to go? I believe the last thing any company wants is to end up in a price war – red ocean, anyone?

So the next time you help to set your company’s goal, try to set something which is independent of any other companies. Again, I must say that it’s not wrong to do so. It just does not seem like the best way for me. I rather set goals like “becoming the market leader in the web 2.0 consulting world” or “integrating the world of legacy systems” or a simpler “becoming the leader in the niche market which the company is involved in”.

Compare those 3 with something like “becoming just like Accenture”….I think I rather chose the former 3. But that’s just my personal opinion.

p/s… For your info, I failed the interview. Guess my curiosity didn’t serve me well

p/s… By the way, a goal can be a direction and not the destination.