Money has fast becoming one of the most important things in the life for a lot of us. And for some, THE MOST important thing. Some of us use this money to buy things for ourselves, and for our loved ones – our spouse, kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Because we feel that, when we buy things for people, they will become happy….and when we see they’re happy, we’ll be happy too.

Theoretically speaking, yes.

But let’s imagine the following scenario. You bought a brand new mobile phone. It probably cost you around $3000. So on the first week, you went to have dinner with your relatives. As you were chatting with your brother, his son took your phone and played around with it. Then his daughter went to snatch the phone from him….and they two started to fight….and they dropped your $3000 phone right in front of you.

Fortunately, your phone can still be used…but with a large crack on the LCD screen.

What will be your reaction? Well, if you are like most of us out there, you will be furious! What are these kids doing?! It’s your hard-earned money and thanks to their playfulness, it’s gone! So you go on and unleash your anger on them, scolding them right in front of everyone.

Imagine the emotional damage you would’ve done, if you really did that. The wound would be so deep that they no longer dare to play while you’re around. They’re just kids after all. And they are your precious niece and nephew.

Yes, it’s difficult because our society trains us to focus more on things, and less on people. But are things really so much more important than people? I seriously doubt so.

So the next time someone you really love and care about, breaks one of your precious things….. don’t erupt in anger. Keep your cool. Stay calm. You still need to tell the person you’re slightly disappointed but it’s not really a big deal. Don’t unleash your wrath on the person as if he/she just destroys your world….because he/she didn’t. It’s just a THING.

Remember….every new thing will become old even if nobody breaks it…. but an emotional wound will likely stay there for a long long time…. much longer than that mobile phone of yours.

This lesson is something I’ve learnt from the late Prof Randy Pausch. He talked about this in his book “The Last Lecture”. A recommended read.

Hope it helps.

Just the other day, a friend of mine said to me “Alvin, you don’t sound curious enough for a technical guy”. That made wonder, maybe what he said is right…partially right. I am not curious enough for everything. I don’t like details on some stuff that I have no interest on, or to put it bluntly, stuff which I have no use of.

There are times when I feel that we tend to focus (or want to focus) on the details of all the things in the world. It’s not bad, but it’s not too good either especially if you are someone who cannot concentrate on something 100% for a longer period of time. Remember focusing on detail A for few hours, before turning to detail B. That can be pretty unhealthy since you might end up getting nothing done. Furthermore, by focusing on so much details, it might actually take your time and attention away from the details which really matter.

My advice is, leave the details to the experts – the reviewers, writers, mechanics, electricians, etc. You don’t have to focus on everything – we’re in the Information age, remember? Focus on the details which you are interested in – the details which seem interesting and MEANINGFUL to you. Improve your expertise on it and find out whatever information you can lay your hands on. And cut down on the time spent on things which don’t really matter to you (it’s good to know how to fix the pipe, but do you it’s necessary to drill down to the materials used, or how the pipe works, etc?).

Remember, it’s not wrong to know everything but due to the fact that each of us only have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year (let me know if you have more than that), there is only so much details that we can focus on. You can always go back to those not-so-meaningful details once you have plenty of free time to spare.

p/s…. businesses are doing the same too. That’s why we have all types of business outsourcing models nowadays – finance, human resource, cleaning, etc. People prefer to focus on the details of the things which matter to them because it’s just too expensive to focus on every single detail.

Let me ask you some quick questions. Are you a Toyota fan? If yes then have you ever wonder why is there so many Honda Civic on the road? Chances are, you won’t. You will notice Toyota Vios or Altis or whatever Toyotas but you will not be aware of the Honda cars around you.

Why?

Because that is what you focus on. That is what your mind is looking at and whatever your mind is looking at, will influence what your eyes are looking at.

Don’t believe me? Now, go back on the road and see if you can notice any Honda Civic cars. I’m sure you will be able to see a lot of them. Er…of course, if you’re somewhere in a dense forest and you can see a lot of Honda Civic cars, you better start praying hard. :T

This shows that our mind is a very powerful thing and it can actually decide what are the things you pay attention to, and filter the rest. This happens in our daily life too. Some people always claim that they do not have the best of things in life, and others do have. But the thing is, everyone has the best things in life except that these things do differ from one person to another.

As long as you set your mind to focus on the good things in life, I don’t see why you can’t be happy because there are just so many of those things around us.

Remember, if you keep focusing on other people’s “fortune” and not yours, then you will never learn to appreciate the things around you. The concentration and the focus are not there. Or maybe, they are there, but the target is not the right one.

So start changing your focus. See things differently. Stop focusing on what good stuff other people have and start focusing on what good stuff YOU have.

p/s…. this thing can be applied to your work too. If you have too many tasks, the one you focus on will get done easily, as compared to other tasks. And less mistakes too.

Have something that you really want to do but just could not find the time to do it? Or has something which you really want to do, but has been putting in on hold for many many months now?

I’ll admit it. I have that kind of problem, all the time.

Then I came across an article which actually touched on this issue. I couldn’t find the link anymore, so sorry for that. I’ll post it here once I found it.

Anyway, it talks about focusing on the priority and removing all the not-so-important tasks. I find it very useful and effective, and have actually came out with my new formula of doing things which matter. Erm, not really a formula, but few steps which allow me to focus.

1. List out all the things to do in a single day (a single week if you’re more of a weekly person or if doing it daily is too tedious for you).
2. Mark the 1 thing which you really want to complete it no matter what. It must be something which means a lot to you. You can choose to have 2 things, but preferably make it 1.
3. Remove all other things or if you cannot remove them, postpone them to later date.

Done.

I find these 3 steps to be quite useful. For example, I always find myself spending too much time in IM (Yahoo Messenger and MSN Messenger) and also the RSS feeds. I could actually spend the entire morning just to go through all the articles in my RSS feed. Most of those articles are beneficial (business, motivational, etc) but it wouldn’t hurt if I remove them altogether, or postpone them to a later date.

By doing these 2 simple things, I can actually free up at least 2 to 3 hours each day to do the things which matter.

It’s not that these things don’t matter. In fact, some of them are quite important. But the main point here is, will it bring any significant impact if I don’t do them TODAY or NOW? Nope.

So, why not just postpone them or just cancel them altogether?

But for those things which are really important (but not urgent), remember to complete them later. Don’t just postpone and forget about them.

Last but not least, each one of us has only 24 hours a day for us to use. If we waste it, it will never return. So, manage your time wisely and do the things which matter the most to you.

p/s……. this is another reason why I’m putting my blog schedule to Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

p/s……. for those on Twitter and Facebook, try to avoid them. It’s good if you have a USEFUL purpose. Otherwise, they really can be pretty time consuming and addictive.

Many people associate success with hard work. Our parents have told us so. Our relatives have told us so. And even our teachers have told us so. But how true is that?

In a way, it’s true that in order to be successful, one needs to work harder than usual. However, the meaning of the term “work hard” has often being misinterpreted. Most people think that working hard means you need to dedicate an awful amount of time into whatever that you are working on – be it your day job, personal projects, pursuing your dreams, etc. But that doesn’t take away the fact that each of us has only 24 hours a day (do tell me if you have more than that).

So what does this mean? It means your work life balance will be gone. You will spend more time in your work than other things. Your relationship with the people around you might become sour since you just do not have enough time for them. This is all because of one reason – you need to work hard in order to be successful and achieve your dreams..or at least, that’s what most of us believe in. If there’s no hard work, there’s no success.

But if you’ve been doing this all this while, I can only say “Good for you, but sorry to say that should not be the way”.

In my opinion, success should not be associated with the “hard work” that we all know. Perhaps it’s better if we redefine the term “hard work” to “100% focus“.

I notice that most often than not, people who claim they are working hard, are distracted by other less important things. They can spend 14 hours a day working on something, but in between that 14 hours, they basically spend 4 or 5 hours doing something which is entirely unrelated. Things like reading articles, nonsense emails, blogging or anything which is not directly in line with the direction. These things should be ignored. You can do them when you’re free.

So here’s the equation:

success = hard work

hard work = 100% focus

success = 100% focus

Remember that even if you are working 14 hours a day, it cannot be regarded as “hard work” if you are actually not giving 100% focus to the things that matter. So stop complaining to people that you need to work so hard (thus neglecting your work life balance) in order to achieve certain objectives. Start looking at what are the things that you normally do in that 14 hours. Cut out what is not necessary and focus on what is important. I am pretty sure that you can actually achieve work life balance again after that.

And replacing those unnecessary things with a proper work life balance (like accompanying your loved ones, or do some gardening, yoga, etc) is definitely a good thing to do.

Last but not least…… always remember that you are human and not a machine. Work life balance IS very important. So start focusing on the things that matter…get done with them and turn your attention to yourselves and the people that you care.

p/s…. and of course, luck, opportunities and circumstances also play an important role in achieving success. but that’s another topic altogether.