Most people seek perfections in life. That’s why MOST people are never happy. They chase after the impossible. A lost dream before it has even begun. And when they can’t find it, they start to find faults in the imperfections that they encounter.

That’s why we have so many arguments, conflicts, misunderstandings, miscommunication, etc. And it can happen everywhere – in office where employees cannot perform up to the boss’ expectation, at home where a perfectionist parent punishes his son for getting 95/100 in the exam, or a wife who keeps complaining about her husband’s lame jokes and why he never bother to learn how to cook.

Yea, we complain, we nag AND we hope that one day these little imperfect things in life will just go away. We hope everything will turn out perfectly well. But sadly, there’s no such thing as perfect in this world. Nothing is perfect.

So why don’t we just wake up from this lost dream of ours and learn to appreciate things more? And yes, that includes all the little imperfect things in life. Observe these imperfect things and remember them because as with everything else in this world, they don’t last forever. And when they’re really gone, it might be too late for you to realize how much you actually miss them.

The last thing you want to do, is to actually miss something when it’s gone. So, start changing your perspective and who knows, maybe all these imperfect things you’re complaining about might not be that imperfect after all.

p/s….. Well, theoretically speaking, the definition of ‘perfect’ is actually up to the person to decide…so…yea, if you know how to lower your expectations, maybe you CAN achieve perfection.

p/s….. for the examples given above. Perhaps one day, when the boss left the company, he would remember the funny and tense moments when he scolded everyone in the team. For the perfectionist parent, he would recall how his son tried to use all the tricks to avoid studying. And for the wife, well, I’m sure she would miss the lame jokes when her husband are not around.

Ever heard of the saying “If we don’t start, we’ll never arrive”? I’m a strong believer of this saying. Unfortunately, most people are too fearful of taking that first step towards their goals.

Here’s an example. At the age of 25, Kim started working as a chemical engineer (just an example, chemical engineer’s job might not be that unhealthy at all). The pay was very high but she realized that the job and the environment were very bad for her health. So she set a target – to quit by 30. By that time, she should have enough savings to start her own business, or to start fresh in another industry.

5 years later, Kim turned 30. She has been promoted to senior chemical engineer and was leading a team of 10 people. Her salary more than doubled compared to 5 years ago. Yet, she realized that she could not survive in this kind of hazardous environment for long. So she told herself, 3 more years, and she should have enough money to achieve financial freedom.

At 33, she encountered a harsh reality – she has too many commitments, her health was deteriorating, and she no longer has the energy and drive to start something new.

Kim was trapped by her own indecisiveness.

This story sounds all too familiar eh? It’s something which will most likely be faced by majority of the world’s population today.

We all know it’s very difficult for some people to take that first step especially when it involves in lesser income and especially when you have tonnes of commitments. However, nobody says that you need to quit everything in order to make the first step. Doing self-learning at home is also considered as a first step, albeit a small one.

But one thing to bear in mind is that, no matter what you do, you should always think for the future. So what if you’re getting paid a lot NOW, do you think you can last for another 5 years? What if your company decides to retrench you? Will you be able to survive with the skills you have now?

And most importantly, will what you do now help you move closer to your goals (be it financial freedom, another job, own business, etc)? If no, then why are you still doing it? Is it because you’re afraid to make that first step? What are the obstacles in front of you? Try to identify them and remove them one by one.

Remember that if you don’t remove the obstacles, you will never be able to start making that first step. And if you don’t take the first step, you will never reach your goals. By the time you know it, it could be too late already. We only live once.

I told a friend via MSN just a few days ago that I am planning to move slowly towards business and managerial role. The friend (who is a recruitment agent), without hesitation, replied “You cannot do it“. I could feel my blood pressure shot up at that moment.

Yes, I was angry. Angry not because she told me I can’t do it. I do know my own capabilities pretty well and it’s obvious that with my current skills and experiences, I will not able to secure a managerial opportunity. This, I know clearly and probably better than everyone else. What I was really angry of was the way she replied me.

Imagine this, you have this big idea and have a solid plan on how to make it happen. Then you approached a friend, only to receive a blunt reply from him – “you cannot do it”. That’s very demotivating, isn’t it? I do understand that some people do seriously think that you cannot do it, but rather than pouring cold water on you, maybe it’s better to encourage you in a nicer way or at least explain to you why he thinks it’s a bad idea? Because at the end of the day, the reason you approach your friends and family members is to ask for their support or opinions.  Not to make yourself feeling more depressed and demotivated. That is why something such as “you cannot do it”, is the last thing you should hear from someone close to you.

The same thing should also be done when someone approaches you to talk about his plan, dreams, goals, etc. Be a good listener even if you cannot help. Just be there and LISTEN. If you feel like telling him what you feel about the whole thing, put it in a nicer way. Give your honest assessment and also some ideas as to how you think the person can solve the problems that you’re worried about. Don’t ever say “you cannot do it” or anything which holds no meaning other than to demotivate the person. Because if you want to demotivate the person, then you’re better off not saying anything because you won’t be helping the person at all.

I know that whatever I’ve said here is pretty obvious and anyone with common sense should be able to realize it. But I also know that to realize something and to do it at the same time, can be quite difficult for some people. For this group of people, they need to realize how much weight their words carry and what are the impacts their words have on the life of other people. If they sincerely want to help, then don’t demotivate people. If they don’t want to help, then just shut up.

Conclusion, I believe that friends and family members should always be there to help and support each other. If someone approaches you to explain his plans, goals and dreams, that means he trusts you and you should respect that trust. Help him out. Motivate him. Explain to him. If you cannot do all those, then the only thing you can do is not to demotivate him.

Throughout the history of our world, big dreams have always been our source of inspiration – the first man to walk on moon, the invention of the telephone, the wheel, etc. We just love big dreams, don’t we? Something for us to look up to, and something for us to create and work hard for.

The good news is, it’s not difficult at all to come out with big dreams. In fact, anyone can come out with one…or more than one at any given time!

Now the bad news is, most people won’t be able to achieve them. Not because they’re unlucky or not talented, but because of the way they approach big dreams. Most of the people will just go all-out towards the big dreams.

And what happens next? They become tired very fast and give up. And the big dreams? Gone. They’ll be too demotivated to carry on…so they take a break. Few weeks or few months later, they would come back STRONGER than ever and set new big dreams. Then they go all out towards it (again)….and soon, history would repeat itself – they become exhausted and demotivated to carry on.

See the issue here? The issue here is that people tend to set up big dreams and then just dive straight into it….without dividing them into smaller portions. It’s like saying you want to climb Mount Everest and just head straight into it, hoping you can conquer it within a single day. Or saying you want to earn $1000 per day by blogging, and start to write blog posts… hoping that people would notice you in a week’s time. Well, all I can say is…. you have the right direction (the big dream) but you’re taking the wrong and unplanned approach.

The thing is, we human love to see progress and we feel motivated by it. If we don’t see any progress then sooner or later, we’ll become demotivated and give up. This is the thing with big dreams. We set an end goal which is too difficult for us to achieve easily, so we become burnout pretty soon because there’s no way for us to notice any significant progress towards our goal.

What we should do then, is to divide the so-called big dream, or end goal, into many smaller parts. Set them up in a way that you can accomplish them easily. Once completed, you will feel more motivated and move on to the next one. And before you know it, all these smaller parts have actually managed to help you move closer to that big dream of yours. And you still have a lot of energy left for the final push!

Set up the big dream

Separate it into smaller milestones

Work on the milestones one by one

Once you’re done with 1 milestone, stop a while and notice the progress. Gather as much motivation as you can from there.

Continue with the next milestone

So remember, everyone (me, you, your family members, friends, bosses) loves to see progress. If there’s no progress, you will get bored and tired easily, and eventually you will give up. Learn to separate a big end goal into smaller ones that you can achieve. Make use of the progress you make to push yourselves further.

Last but not least, always bear in mind that pursuing your big dreams is never going to be easy. It’s going to be a long long journey so you will need to gather any form of positive energy you can get during the journey. Oh, and don’t forget that pursuing that big dream of your should be fun and exciting…not tiring and boring.

If given a chance to work abroad for long period of time, will you take it even if it means leaving your loved ones behind for many years? This was the question which confronted me when my friends asked me why didn’t I consider working permanently in the UK last time. It was not a difficult decision for me but I can tell you, it can be a very tough one for some people.

Let’s look at the 2 options we have here.

• The job could be your dream job with dream pay and with good salary. Everything about the job is good. But it’s in the States which means you will be 12 hours away from your family. And you can’t migrate all of them over. It’s just not feasible and pretty impossible. You can only fly back to visit them once in a while (since flight ticket is not really cheap). So will you leave your family behind and go for this dream job?
• Or do you think that no matter what kind of dream job you have been offered abroad, family and loved ones will always come first. Who knows what might happen in the next few years? Maybe you won’t get to see your aging parents or maybe your Miss or Mr Right (your life companion) will not wait for you that long? Will you abandon that dream of yours in order to stay put and be with your loved ones?

I think the option you choose will largely depending on what kind of person you are, whether you are more of a career person or a family person. And when you make this kind of decision, don’t consult other people because they will make you more confused. For some, money and prospect are above everything else so they will definitely tell you to go for the job. What could be worse than rejecting an opportunity that thousands of people failed to get? And for some, they are just not as adventurous. To them, what could be worse than living alone in a foreign land?

But at the end of the day, you should ask nobody but yourself. Because only you know what you want in life. I’ve seen and heard people who regretted going abroad when they realized they did not get back in time to see their critically-illed dad/mum – and yes, this kind of regret would carry on forever for most people. But I’ve also seen people enjoying themselves in foreign countries and living their dreams.

For me, I just can’t stand to see my family sad. They will never say No if I were to ask for their opinion because no parents would want to be an obstacle to their children’s future. But I also know that most parents would want their children to be around them. That is why I chose to stay here and learn to appreciate what we have around us. After all, opportunities are still there for the taking and dreams are still achievable irregardless of where you are.