Every now and then, the radio station One FM will talk about some important life lessons. One of them is about choices in life.

Do you still remember when we were kids, most of us would have the ambition of becoming a scientist, a doctor, a policeman, a nurse or a teacher? These are the popular occupations for kids. And people may sometimes wonder why must it be those few and not other occupations like programmers, accountants, financial controllers, etc? Well, simply it’s because we did not know those terms yet at that time. We made our decisions based on what we knew.

Same thing goes for everyone when we grow up. We decide and we choose based on what we know at one point in time. And sometimes, we will encounter a better option after we made the decision. So, some of us would start to blame ourselves, and feel bad over that “silly decision”.

What I can say is, there’s no such thing as a silly decision. Everything happens for a reason. If you never try, you wouldn’t know that the first decision you made is actually not a good one. And also, if you haven’t try the new and seemingly better option, how would you know that it will actually be better?

So before you make a decision, think about it and ask yourself plenty of questions. Will you regret? Do you think you can live without this option? Or do you think you should wait for other better options? Maybe you should go out and explore the world. Learn more things, gain more experience and meet more people. That way, when the time is right, you will know whether the option in front of you, is actually the right one.

Until then, don’t rush into making a decision.

p/s…….. but if you really made a decision and it seems to be a wrong one, just don’t worry ya. Things will be better, I’m sure. And don’t regret over what has been done. Learn so that you can prevent history from repeating itself.

p/s…….. also, sometimes exploring and waiting are good for us, but there are also times when we need to be fast and grab the opportunities which may only come once in a blue moon. So explore, think (carefully and quickly) and decide. I know it’s pretty subjective, but this is how our world works anyway.

People are afraid of changes. Which also means that people are afraid of making any decision which could potentially lead to changes. And this fear is what makes most people remain in the same position for years, without any progress. But sometimes, when we really think about it, we’re not afraid of changes. We’re afraid of the uncomfortable and unknown situation which might be the result of the changes.

Decision –> Changes –> Uncertainties

Ultimately, what we’re really really afraid of is uncertainty. Most of us would prefer a predictable route to travel on. Nobody would want to use a unpredictable route which could lead to a “dead end”. But seriously, is encountering a “dead end” really that bad and really that hopeless? Unless you’re telling me there’s a train charging at you and you got nowhere else to run, then maybe it’s bad.  But other than that, I don’t see how encountering a “dead end” can be hopeless. For me, as long as it’s not a life/death situation, chances are, it’s not that bad and you WILL find a solution to it. What you can do then, is whenever you’re facing a difficult decision due to your fear of the uncertainties, start spending a few minutes thinking about the worst possible outcome. Then find a solution to that outcome.

For example, are you afraid to take up a new job opportunity because you’re not sure if the company is a good one or if the job suits you? What’s the worst possible outcome? Maybe you will regret and quit your job. Well, you will just have to find another job. If you have other commitments, then prepare an emergency fund before you quit your job. Or perhaps, you’re afraid of approaching that dream girl of yours because you’re shy. Well, what’s the worst possible outcome? For her to ignore you? If that’s the case, you will realize she’s not so friendly and perhaps it’s better for you to focus your time on someone else.

In the end, you will notice that there’s really nothing to be afraid of. Uncertainties are more like myths to scare people off. If you can think of the worst possible outcome and find a solution to it, then what else do you need to be afraid of? And when you know there’s nothing to be afraid of, what are you waiting for? Just go and do it. You only pass by this life once.

p/s….. but i’m not telling you to do something which will hurt others. always think whether your decision will hurt others (besides yourself).

The world is slowly being divided into 2 groups of people – the decisive and the indecisive. The decisive is the group of people who will decide on most things from food, career, job, assignments, vacation, etc whereas the indecisive will normally say “anything is okay” or “I have no idea” or they might just sit there pondering on their options. Personally, I feel that most people fall under the indecisive group most of the time. I also call this group of people “the people who go with the flow”.

Well, there’s nothing wrong with that actually. Whenever there’s YIN, there’s always YANG. So when we have decisive people, there should be indecisive people. Otherwise, the 2 will start debating with each other and waste their time doing that. The problem here is that, I personally feel that the gap between the 2 is getting wider and the number of people in the “go with the flow” group is getting bigger too.

For example, how many times have you witnessed the following (the “you” being someone, not you as in you):

• When choosing a university course, you choose to follow your friends.
• When choosing a lunch place, you and your friends wait for 5-10 minutes, clueless of where to eat.
• When you invest in stock market, you sell because everyone is selling!
• When your friends go for a movie you hate, you just tag along in order to “follow the crowd”.
• When your colleagues are going for a drink in the nearby pub, you tag along to avoid being called “anti-social”.
• and my favorite, when you attend a wedding dinner which serves shark fin’s soup, you eat it because everyone is eating it and because they’re telling you “it’s not real shark fin” even though you feel strongly against it.

The last example is a classic. I’ve faced it everytime I attend a wedding dinner but being the stubborn me, I refused to eat. I know what I want, and I know what I don’t want. But most of my friends, succumbed to the influence of the people around them. They consumed something against their will.

I know that it takes great courage to be able to stand on your ground and say NO, or to be different from others. You might attract unwanted attention, and you might piss off your friends. That’s why it is always easier to go with the flow, or follow the majority.

But is that really want you want? Do you feel bad after that?

If yes, then maybe it’s time to be more decisive. Decide based on what you want or don’t want. Stop following the crowd/majority. It’s your life. So take control over it.

p/s…. this is particularly important in stock investing. The guy who always don’t follow the majority, can earn the most.

p/s…. i understand that we human, are actually group creatures (er..creatures that live in a group and not alone), so it’s normal to be influenced by the people around us and follow the crowd. I believe it’s okay to do that once in a while but when it comes to something which really matter to you, I do hope that you can stand up and decide for yourselves.

I always wonder, nowadays we can easily get the info we want anywhere, anytime and EASILY. Just go to Google and you can easily find anything! This is very useful for us because it helps us to gain more knowledge, learn more stuff, do more things, connect with more people.

But also it makes us listen too much to others.

• When we want to know about local news, we go to CNN, BBC or The Star (for Malaysia).
• When we want to find nice food to eat, we go search for food reviews.
• When we want to go for vacation, we Google for the interesting places in the world (within our budget).
• When we want to solve a problem, we Google for it and get the top 5 articles in the search result.
• And for some people, when there’s a problem they don’t know how to do, they go to YouTube (I actually have a friend who went to YouTube to learn how to fold clothes! Oh, and he ended up making a big mess).

..and others, just to name a few.

As a matter of fact, the amount of information that we get everyday is just enormous and I believe it has reached a stage that filtering the information becomes more tedious than receiving the information. Thus, we turn to the so-called professionals aka the media and the ‘expert reviewers’. We believe that they will do the proper filtering for us. After all, we do pay some of them for that!

Actually there’s nothing wrong with this but I do notice that as time goes by, these individuals might end up having a louder voice within us than our own voice. We become indecisive. We believe most of the things THEY say, right or wrong. Or when there’s only one solution in Google for the question we asked, we believe that should be the right one (especially if there are some idiots who claimed the solution is genuine without trying it). But is it really the right one?

Perhaps it’s time to really think about such things (I know some of you already do. So this is aimed at people who rather go with the ‘flow’). Forget about all the press, news, articles, reviews or even commercials. They are there to HELP you in making decision, not making the decision for you. Ask yourselves, what is it that you really want? You want to buy a car? Do you really think you need it? Do you have the money? Will you die without buying it? What about that game with superb review (sorry ya, I’m a video gamer), do you think you will really enjoy it? Can you imagine yourselves enjoying the game after reading the review? How long do you think it’s going to last you? Can’t you wait for 6 months and get from the secondary market?

Ask more questions! Fill up some blanks with those reviews, articles, etc but the final decision should come from you. Stop listening too much to others and start listening to yourselves.

p/s……. few years ago, all my friends told me to give up on a girl. But my heart told me to go on. The end result was not what I wanted but I have no regret at all. Because if I’ve listened to others, the issue might still be unresolved until now.

p/s…….. also, remember that listening is not a bad thing but listening without filtering is.

A friend of mine was in Jakarta for an IT project which was for a Japanese client (different client from the one I was ‘serving’). From what he told me, the entire project was a total mess…maybe worse than the one I was involved in.

Told you common sense is very rare nowadays!

First, the client didn’t know what he wanted and kept on changing the requirements. Second, when the project has been ‘completed’, the client scolded my friend and his team for being useless because they have no common sense and kept giving him things that he didn’t want. According to him, my friend and the team should just use their ‘common sense’ in order to know what kind of business processes the system should cater for. Hmm…no information….so they have to use their common sense to get those information……..does that mean he’s asking them to GUESS what the system should have?

Now now now…don’t you think this kind of situation sounds pretty familiar? A lot of clients actually expect the consultants/programmers or anyone they’re paying their money for, to have the right common sense and to come out with whatever they want WITHOUT asking them. This is possible, if there’s someone in the team who can do mind-reading. Otherwise, it’s impossible.

This is because each company has its own unique business processes and no matter how much we try to use our common sense, it’ll be very hard to ‘predict’ or ‘guess’ which is actually the correct one. The best solution here is to suggest to them your ‘best practices’ if they don’t have one….and if they do have one, get it from them without making any wild guesses. That’s the best we can do.

Because at the end of the day, you will be surprised that some companies have really weird business processes…..processes which don’t make sense at all and processes which make your wild guesses look childish.

So now you tell me, do you still want me (or my friend, or anyone you’re paying to work on a project) to use my common sense ……..or do you want to minimize the time I spend on guessing, and tell me right away what are your business processes? Remember that your common sense might not be the same with my common sense.

Decide now, and don’t blame me if your decision makes you lose money though I’m pretty sure you will. Hahah. Because the ‘blaming’ and ‘flaming’ are part of the deal after all