A friend of mine told me about this story where a young manager came into the office on the manager’s first day and started to threaten every employee in the office. This manager told everyone to work hard or get lost.

Of course all the employees in the office were afraid of him but most of them were not happy as well. People started to leave but  few of them had no choice but to continue to work. Then one day, 2 employees made a mistake which caused the manager to terminate them on the spot. It was a small mistake. And this action of his created an uproar among the existing employees.

Soon, the director became aware of this incident and came to investigate. He had a 1 to 1 chat with the manager.

Director: Why did you terminate the 2 employees over such a small mistake?

Manager: I’ve warned them that I would terminate anyone who is not performing or is making the company lose money.

Director: Everyone makes mistakes and this is but a small mistake. Also, do you think you have actually found the solution by terminating them?

Manager: ……..

Director: So in the end, the underlying problem has not been fixed. All you did was to react unproductively to a problem. Now, we’ve lost 2 people, and the problem is still there.

Yes, it’s easy for people to just sit down, complain or even punish those responsible. But everybody makes mistakes. Nobody is perfect in this world. So rather than punishing, complaining and whining…..why not focus on the problem and how can one come out with a solution to fix it?

Nothing is more important than to find a solution to a problem. So, be aware of what you are focusing on when you’re faced with a problem.

p/s….. over the years, many people have been terminated by hot shot directors/managers who love to flex their management muscles (abusing their authority). This is the harsh reality of the corporate world. Yet, most of them only know how to show off their authority and not solve the underlying problems. Because for them, their ego can only carry them that far.

People love to blame. When they’re not getting enough salary, they blame the bosses for not recognizing their contributions. When they’ve been retrenched by the company, they blame the company for being so ruthless. When they’ve fallen sick, they blame the chefs for preparing unhealthy food for them. And when they got stuck in a traffic jam during peak hour, they blame other drivers for choosing this time to go to work.

It’s always other people or other things. It’s always THEM. It’s never US.

That’s one of the weaknesses suffered by many of us. We love ourselves so much that whenever we make a mistake, we push it to other people. It’s easier that way isn’t it? But really, how much does blaming other people for our mistake, help us? Nothing! Maybe we’ll be relieved that it’s not really US, but only for a short period of time. And that’s about it! Oh, we also don’t get to correct our own mistakes since …well…we don’t realize it’s really US. We can’t correct something that we’re not aware of. No?

So if you really want to improve yourself, you should stop putting blame on everyone and everything. Do some self reflections. Maybe some of the mistakes/problems/errors are really caused by YOU and not other people.

For example, if you have been retrenched, maybe it’s because you are not contributing enough. If you’ve fallen sick, perhaps it’s due to the excessive food you’re consuming. If you’re caught in the jam, perhaps it’s because you choose to oversleep for 30 minutes instead of waking up in time to avoid the jam. Yes, a lot of the issues and problems CAN be avoided if we take control.

But please don’t start doing all those self-damaging thing to yourself. That’s the last thing this article wants you to do. Take responsibility is the right term here. Not pushing the blame and responsibility to other people.

p/s…. but sometimes, there are things which are so dead obvious it’s not our mistake. Well, we can blame others but for a short period since blaming others won’t help us much anyway.

“My job sux”. “My boss does not appreciate me”. “My colleagues are irresponsible”. “I just cannot mix well with my colleagues”. “I can’t communicate with my in-laws”. “My car is so problematic!”….or the ultimate “I hate my life”.

We hear these all the time from people. The funny thing is, these people would complain and do nothing about it. They’ll still be in the same situation a year later! It’s either they are too lazy to find a solution to their problem, or they don’t really mind about the problem at all. But then again, if they don’t really mind, why are they complaining in the first place? To release stress and frustration? Or to “let it out”, as one of my friends love to call it. Doesn’t look very healthy to me.

But seriously, do you think it’s worth it to spend so much energy into doing something destructive like complaining? If you are doing it once, then it’s fine. But most people do it over and over again! Well, my advice is pretty simple, if you are unhappy with what you are facing now, then it’s time to ask yourselves some simple questions.

• What is it that you are complaining? Your boss? Colleagues? Job? Family? Lack of money? Identify the source of the complaint.
• How long are you doing this already? Do you complain about everything? Or is there one particular thing which you always complain? And how often do you do it? Identify whether the issue is caused by something/someone, or the issue is with you and the way you look at things.
• Do you think this is healthy for your overall well-being? If yes, why do you think so? If no, how are you going to overcome it and stop all the negative energy infesting in your brain? Ask yourself if you are fine with how things are going now and you prefer to do nothing. Or perhaps you DO want to do something.
• If you want to overcome it, how do you think you can find a solution? Cut down on your expenses? Talk to your colleagues/boss? Change job? Think about multiple ways to solve your problem one at a time. Think simple and avoid complicating things.
• Or maybe you do want to change things but there are other factors which are forcing you not to make the changes? Identify those factors and also their impact on your life. Do it as soon as possible. If the factors are so important that you prefer not to change things, then try not to complain too much. The negative energy will not help you at all. And if you are determined to change things, stop complaining too. Focus your energy on how to solve the issues instead.

Life is short and I think it’s better to spend our life doing what we really want to do, and be happy. True, we have our commitments and responsibilities, so making a change can be quite difficult at times. But I always believe that we control our own fate and we build our own happiness. If we always sit around and do nothing to fix the things we don’t like (things we always complain about), those things will always be there to haunt us and make us miserable.

Complaining does not fix things. Action does.

p/s….. but if you are the type who complains about everything from the land to the sky, then you need to change. The problem most probably lies within you and how you see the world.

p/s….. i notice that this post is quite similar to some of my previous posts. guess i’m running out of topics to talk