Then one of them said “Working under Alvin must be very stressful. You are such a perfectionist”.

My reply was “Maybe I am a perfectionist, or maybe I’m not. But I believe if we want to do something, then we should give everything we have.”

I believe this applies to a lot of people on a lot of things – jobs, life, love, family, etc. Most of the time, we just do something for the sake of doing it without realizing that we actually have the ability to make it a BIG one if we put our heart into it. For example, we’re being asked to handle an event. We can always throw in some simple activities and just get on with it. All for the sake of doing it. Or we can plan properly and make it the best event ever organized and make everyone remembers it.

If you want to do it, then do it well. But if you do not wish to do it, then just admit it. Tell others you are just not up for it. Don’t commit yourself into creating something mediocre, just because you are doing it for the sake of doing it. Leave it to others who really want to do it. I bet they can do a better job. So if you don’t feel like doing it, just do nothing and leave the opportunity to others. Don’t waste it.

At the end of the day, the decision is still ours to make. But for me, I believe that if I want to take up something, I should be doing it willingly. And by saying willingly, I must be willing to give it my all and not just do it half-heartedly. Call me a perfectionist, or even an idealist, but that’s what I believe in – “if I want to do it, do it well”.

And that is exactly what life is all about. There are times when we’re being given some of the best things in the world and feel fortunate. But there are also times when we’re being thrown into some difficult situations which make us feel we’re useless. Yes, shits like this do happen (and sometimes they happen a lot too) but I believe that we have the power to make the best out of whatever situation we’re in.

For example, if you are complaining about your job now, there are actually few things that you can do. The obvious option is of course to look for another job. But if you can’t do that, then you have to make the most out of your current situation. Introduce new ideas, contribute more to the team, get to know more people from other teams, help another teammate with his/her task, etc. Make yourself a valuable member of the team, and a valuable employee for the company.

The thing with most people is that we complain too much whenever things are not the way we want them to be. We complain and complain, ….and complain. Yet, we do nothing to improve the overall situation. And no matter how much you try to deny it, the truth is that we CAN improve the situation. Here are few things you can consider doing:

• stop complaining
• think of the positive things in current situation
• think of how you can improve on the positive things
• make yourself valuable to your team and company
• think out of the box

Remember that you don’t have to just stick to the things listed in your job description. Feel free to explore out of the box. Most importantly, you have to understand your current situation. If you can’t move away from it, then change how you look at it.

As Mary Engelbreit once said “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it — change the way you think about it.”

Although they sound similar, each carries a very different weight and effect. A good example is one given by Seth Godin, where 2 lemonade stalls have different results due to the way they approach the business – 1 a passionate girl taking her own sweet time making the lemonades using the traditional way, and the other 2 kids producing lemonades just like how everyone else does it – The lesson from two lemonade stands.

So if you truly love what you are doing, you will take your own sweet time doing it and at the same time, enjoying every moment while you’re at it. The result? Yes, you will definitely produce lesser than the 2 kids, but each lemonade you produce will be of the top quality – full of passion and feels authentic. And this also gives your client the feeling that you are sincere in selling whatever you are selling, and that you are not trying to rip the person off. Enjoying the moment, producing remarkable results and having happy customers. What can be better than this?

Of course all these things sound easier said than done and most often than not, we are left with no choice but to do what we are paid to do. How many times have you seen an unhappy person saying “no choice, I have to work”? I think more than 50% of the total population would say that!

I can’t say I have a solution because the fact is, we do have to survive and by that I mean we have to earn enough money to support ourselves and our family – and all our other commitments (houses, cars, etc). But do we want to spend the rest of our life being in this state? Do we want to continue to work on something we hate for the rest of our life just for the sake of doing it? Of course not !

If that’s the case, why not consider making a change? If you can’t change your day job, then you can always find a part-time job which gives you more satisfaction. Or if you have no time for it, find some hobbies to do or just find some time to do whatever you love to do. If that means waking up 30 min or 1 hour earlier every day, so be it. You need something to get you moving and this could be it. Who knows, maybe 1 day, you can make a living by doing what you really love to do. I’ve seen some people becoming pretty successful in that and I believe it CAN happen.

If everything above is still not possible, then there’s only 1 thing left to do. Change your mindset. True, your job may not be the best in the world (trust me, most people would say their jobs are not the best jobs in the world) and you might hate it a lot. But well, the good news is, it’s not the best but it’s not the worst as well. There are still some goods left in any jobs, and I believe each of us has the ability to make the most out of any situation. Think about all the positive things from your job, your workplace, your colleagues, bosses, etc. LEARN to love your current job. Remember, at least, you still have a job.

At the end of the day, it’s all about making a change, be it to the things that are happening to us or to our own mindset (which also means adaptation). So start thinking whether you are doing whatever you are doing now for the sake of doing it….or are you doing it for the sake of loving it? If it’s the former, maybe it’s time for a change?

If it’s the latter, congratulations. Enjoy the moment !

While most people love the 3 good ideas, there are a lot more people who are fearful of the 7 bad ideas. In the end, they feel hesitant to come out with any ideas. They are afraid of being looked down by others. They are afraid of being called “stupid”. They are afraid of bad ideas.

But if you don’t come out with any ideas at all, then the hope of getting a good idea is zero.

That’s why in my personal opinion, having bad ideas is way better than having no ideas at all. Generate more ideas, be it good or bad. Learn from the bad, and keep the good. That way, you will eventually come out with few good ideas.

Well, easier said than done. If you want to do this, I think you have to let go of your ego for a while…. and feel that it’s okay to look stupid with all the bad ideas you come out with. Hopefully in the long run, you will learn to understand that there’s no idea which is bad….and someone who is willing to contribute ideas is always smarter than someone who does not contribute ideas at all.

And yet, some of them have been very successful in their life. It’s like they do not have much weaknesses to begin with. Oh, and what about those that have shortcomings or are less fortunate than a lot of us – learning difficulties, deaf, handicapped, mute, etc. Time and time again, people who are less fortunate have proved to us that they can be as successful (if not more) as well.

So what actually enables them to be so successful? What are the secrets/factors behind it? For me, there are only 3 main secrets or factors.

Luck – this is something outside our control but it is also something that we should be aware of. Just don’t pay too much attention to it.

Belief – this is very important because it helps to push you forward. Without having something that you truly believe it, you can’t go far.

Perseverance – never give up. Yes, sometimes it does pay off to give up but if there’s something that you truly believe in, you should not give up. Push on. If it fails, think of a different approach. Remember that Rome was not built in a day. It took a lot of hard work to build the entire city.

The last 2 points are very important and they go hand-in-hand with one another. If you do not have something that you really believe in, then just believe in yourself. Believe that you can accomplish the task at hand. Believe that you can achieve your ambitions. Believe in yourself because if all things failed you, you still have yourself.

And never give up. If you are not a genius or if you can’t learn things as fast as some other smarter people can, then work harder. If it takes other people just 8 hours to learn something, then you should work harder …maybe 10 or 12 hours to learn it up.

Also, bear in mind that most people prefer a hardworking + average person than a smart + lazy person.

Last but not least, I sincerely believe that being successful is not a myth and the opportunity to be successful in life is there for everyone to grab. The question is whether you have the belief and the perseverance to get it.

Hope it helps.

p/s….. some people said that i can pick up things fast, but to be honest, i do tend to spend longer time than some smart people i know. The way that I can remain competitive is to work harder.

………

Recruiter :  Hey, so you’re traveling to Sydney this coming weekend?

Me :  Yeap.

Recruiter :  Whoa, good opportunity for you to work with people from other countries.

Me :  Hmm, nothing special. I was based in UK for 7 months before this. So I’ve worked with people from various countries.

Recruiter :  Oh…but…how come your English is like this?

Me :  Erm, what do you mean by this?

Recruiter :  You know…accent. Your English seems very Malaysian to me, and there’s no accent.

Me :  Honestly, I don’t see a need to learn other people’s accents. As long as I can speak clearly, I don’t see any harm.

Recruiter :  But it’s actually better to speak in their accent so that you can impress people during interview.

Me :  Well, it also depends on who am I talking to, no?

………

Ok, the last line probably pissed her off a little.

The thing is, people should not assume that everyone thinks alike. To them, accent can be used to impress people but to us, it can mean nothing. What we want to do is just to use our English to deliver our messages CLEARLY and EFFECTIVELY. Simple right? Surprisingly, a lot of people failed to see this and end up using accent….which they really shouldn’t. You know…those people who talk in alien language that nobody can understand them at all? I bet some of them are trying to speak with accent.

I know this post does sound a bit like a ranting post, but really, my advice to everyone out there – stop assuming that people will do what you think they will do. Or, stop thinking that people will do whatever you think YOU would do. For this case, the recruiter thinks English should be used with accent in order to impress people, and she thinks other people should do the same too. But the truth is, most people prefer to use English without any accent, as long as the messages can be delivered properly.

So, stop assuming.

p/s…. by the way, I wanted to ask her which accent does she think is appropriate. British? Scottish? Aussies? American? But I was quite pissed that I ended up answering 1 word reply to her – yes/no/okay

p/s…. and yes, I must admit I can’t really speak with accent and I don’t have any intention of learning it.

Of course it would be ideal if we don’t need to work hard to achieve our dreams – minimal effort but tonnes of reward. Sounds cool huh? But sadly, the reality is that there’s no shortcut in this world. There’s no quick way of getting rich, no sure way to get 1st class honor, no easy way to win the girl’s heart, and no effortless way of starting a successful business.

Yes, you can argue there ARE shortcuts out there and some people have become successful due to these shortcuts. But how sure are you that’s really the case? Are you sure these people did nothing but using the shortcuts? No additional efforts at all? Most often than not, these success stories have been made up in order to make you believe in them. The truth is that these individuals did make a lot of additional efforts in order to be where they are now – and perhaps, making you believe them is one of the efforts.

And if there really are shortcuts, those shortcuts can be rather risky. For example, you can try to cheat in exam if you want to get first class honor. But you should also know that once you’ve been found out, you’re practically screwed and chances are, you will be left with nothing – not even your degree. So if you still think it’s worth taking the risk, then good luck.

Same thing goes for all the shortcuts that you wish to take. The risks are there and they can be quite big risks. Think about it and decide whether it is worth it to take such high risks, or just try your best and work for your dreams without taking any shortcuts. For me, working hard for my dreams sound like a more interesting and safer thing to do. Furthermore, I am not someone who believes in shortcuts. They just don’t seem to exist in my life (so far).

Yes, I was angry. Angry not because she told me I can’t do it. I do know my own capabilities pretty well and it’s obvious that with my current skills and experiences, I will not able to secure a managerial opportunity. This, I know clearly and probably better than everyone else. What I was really angry of was the way she replied me.

Imagine this, you have this big idea and have a solid plan on how to make it happen. Then you approached a friend, only to receive a blunt reply from him – “you cannot do it”. That’s very demotivating, isn’t it? I do understand that some people do seriously think that you cannot do it, but rather than pouring cold water on you, maybe it’s better to encourage you in a nicer way or at least explain to you why he thinks it’s a bad idea? Because at the end of the day, the reason you approach your friends and family members is to ask for their support or opinions.  Not to make yourself feeling more depressed and demotivated. That is why something such as “you cannot do it”, is the last thing you should hear from someone close to you.

The same thing should also be done when someone approaches you to talk about his plan, dreams, goals, etc. Be a good listener even if you cannot help. Just be there and LISTEN. If you feel like telling him what you feel about the whole thing, put it in a nicer way. Give your honest assessment and also some ideas as to how you think the person can solve the problems that you’re worried about. Don’t ever say “you cannot do it” or anything which holds no meaning other than to demotivate the person. Because if you want to demotivate the person, then you’re better off not saying anything because you won’t be helping the person at all.

I know that whatever I’ve said here is pretty obvious and anyone with common sense should be able to realize it. But I also know that to realize something and to do it at the same time, can be quite difficult for some people. For this group of people, they need to realize how much weight their words carry and what are the impacts their words have on the life of other people. If they sincerely want to help, then don’t demotivate people. If they don’t want to help, then just shut up.

Conclusion, I believe that friends and family members should always be there to help and support each other. If someone approaches you to explain his plans, goals and dreams, that means he trusts you and you should respect that trust. Help him out. Motivate him. Explain to him. If you cannot do all those, then the only thing you can do is not to demotivate him.

So what should you do then? What if you really want to get a promotion?

To begin with, you can refer to Damien’s “Idiot’s guide to getting a promotion“. It’s a good guide which teaches you how to manage a list of to-do and discuss it with your boss. This list can also be considered as the “requirements for getting promotion” list. Feel free to read through it.

After that, the conversation with your supervisor should have been completed. By then you should be able to know if the company has any plan to promote you, or if they think you are too good to be promoted. If it’s the first case, then congrats, you can stop reading here. If it’s the second case, please proceed

The next sensible thing for you to do is to ask yourself if you are indeed too good in what you do that you cannot be replaced. If yes, what is it that you are so good at? Is it something which can only be applied to your current job? Or is it a skill which you can still use once promoted? Identify the skills and see how you can apply them after you are promoted. If the skills cannot be ‘reused’, then is there a way to train up other people? How long do you think it will take to train someone up to be at your level? And do your bosses agree to such a transition?

Try to get the answers to those questions and hopefully it will be clearer to you whether it is possible to have a promotion in your current company, or not. If it’s not possible, then it is really your call to either stay or to find another job which allows you to have a promotion. Oh yeah, 1 more thing, always remember that a good company should never ever rely too much on a person. For a proper company, nobody is irreplaceable. It is just a question of whether they want to replace you (and the amount of time spent on the transition), or not.

True, you can always have plan B, plan C, D, X, Y, Z. But all those backup plans are there to minimize the damages done when shit happens. For example, your boss screwed up and decided to retrench 20 people in the company and you’re 1 of them. Is it within your control? Hmm, not really. But can you have a backup plan before it happens? Definitely! One of your backup plans could be having an emergency fund to help support your expenses when you’re jobless, or you can have a backup plan to sell your car in order to raise some fund.

However, despite all the backup plans, it doesn’t remove the fact that shit has happened. What’s next then? Be honest about it. Don’t give any excuses and don’t attempt to hide it. If someone asks you what has happened, just admit that shit happened even though not everyone will buy into that “shit happens” excuse. But that’s their choice. For you, being honest is the best you could do.

Well, there’s actually 1 more thing that you should know. That is… our society does not like people who screwed up, or people who have been in a “shit happens” situation. That is why entrepreneurs who have failed in their businesses find it hard to land a job after their businesses closed down. However, our society despises cheaters even more than people who experienced “shit happens” situations. So, in the end, the decision is still yours – be honest about the entire situation, or try to cheat your way through it.