“My job sux”. “My boss does not appreciate me”. “My colleagues are irresponsible”. “I just cannot mix well with my colleagues”. “I can’t communicate with my in-laws”. “My car is so problematic!”….or the ultimate “I hate my life”.

We hear these all the time from people. The funny thing is, these people would complain and do nothing about it. They’ll still be in the same situation a year later! It’s either they are too lazy to find a solution to their problem, or they don’t really mind about the problem at all. But then again, if they don’t really mind, why are they complaining in the first place? To release stress and frustration? Or to “let it out”, as one of my friends love to call it. Doesn’t look very healthy to me.

But seriously, do you think it’s worth it to spend so much energy into doing something destructive like complaining? If you are doing it once, then it’s fine. But most people do it over and over again! Well, my advice is pretty simple, if you are unhappy with what you are facing now, then it’s time to ask yourselves some simple questions.

• What is it that you are complaining? Your boss? Colleagues? Job? Family? Lack of money? Identify the source of the complaint.
• How long are you doing this already? Do you complain about everything? Or is there one particular thing which you always complain? And how often do you do it? Identify whether the issue is caused by something/someone, or the issue is with you and the way you look at things.
• Do you think this is healthy for your overall well-being? If yes, why do you think so? If no, how are you going to overcome it and stop all the negative energy infesting in your brain? Ask yourself if you are fine with how things are going now and you prefer to do nothing. Or perhaps you DO want to do something.
• If you want to overcome it, how do you think you can find a solution? Cut down on your expenses? Talk to your colleagues/boss? Change job? Think about multiple ways to solve your problem one at a time. Think simple and avoid complicating things.
• Or maybe you do want to change things but there are other factors which are forcing you not to make the changes? Identify those factors and also their impact on your life. Do it as soon as possible. If the factors are so important that you prefer not to change things, then try not to complain too much. The negative energy will not help you at all. And if you are determined to change things, stop complaining too. Focus your energy on how to solve the issues instead.

Life is short and I think it’s better to spend our life doing what we really want to do, and be happy. True, we have our commitments and responsibilities, so making a change can be quite difficult at times. But I always believe that we control our own fate and we build our own happiness. If we always sit around and do nothing to fix the things we don’t like (things we always complain about), those things will always be there to haunt us and make us miserable.

Complaining does not fix things. Action does.

p/s….. but if you are the type who complains about everything from the land to the sky, then you need to change. The problem most probably lies within you and how you see the world.

p/s….. i notice that this post is quite similar to some of my previous posts. guess i’m running out of topics to talk

Yesterday, I met up with a good friend of mine for lunch (not sure if she’s reading this), and she told me that she has been putting off some of the things that she wanted to do for months now. It’s not like she doesn’t want to do it, it’s because she places others before her. She helps others to do their stuff and by the time she finishes everything, she’ll be too tired to work on her own things.

To be honest, my friend is not the only person who is facing such a situation. I’ve heard this many times before where people keep postponing something important to them, just because they got other more ‘urgent’ stuff to do – work, family, partners, etc.

All I can say is, a change is needed here. It’s good that you put others before you but I also believe that sometimes, the more you do that, the worse it’ll become for you and for those people. To those people, they might end up over-relying on you. And for you, well, just realize that you are in this world to lead a life for YOURSELF. Yes, you need to spend time on yourself, not just on others.

By saying that, I mean you should start allocating some quality time to spend with yourself. Ask yourself what are the things that you really want to start doing (or trying if you’re uncertain). It could be going to the gym, reading that book you bought last year, designing a web site, attending yoga class, baking a cake, etc. Allocate 30 minutes to an hour each day for you to do such things. If your weekdays are pretty hectic, then make sure you have at least 2 to 4 hours EACH WEEK for such things. Also, having a list of to-do items can be a good starting point for you to help you get started. It’s fine if you can’t finish all of the to-do items. The important thing here is for you to know what are the things that you really want to do (just to put what you want on a piece of paper), and actually START doing it. Yes, the keyword here is START. If you never start, you will never progress.

Remember that your life is your own. If you don’t spend some quality time with yourself, who will? So start asking yourself what is it that you really want to do/accomplish, set up the list of to-do items, allocate some time for them and actually START doing them. STOP giving yourself excuses not to START. And once you’ve started, you will realize it’s really not that difficult. The next step would be make this new beginning as a habit, if possible and start to create momentum for it.

Last but not least, always bear in mind that life is too short to be spent on the same place – you need to start moving forward. You need to progress.

In every good CV, there will be a section reserved for referees, their positions and their contact details. This is a very important section and is often overlooked by the job candidates.

Why is it important? Because job interviewers will most likely call the referees for a reference check if you managed to pass the interview process. And this is where your past behavior will either help you in your job application….or ruin your chance.

And it wouldn’t help if you are only putting your friends or relatives as referees. You can put at most 1 close friend but most of the referees should be those individuals who have worked with you before. They should be the people who know how you work, and what is the attitude that you bring to a workplace. They should either be your supervisor, former supervisor or senior colleagues.

Also, by putting your supervisors/colleagues as your referees, it is very obvious that you have nothing to hide and you are willing to let the interviewer knows about your past records. If you can’t find anyone from the company or your ex-company, then finding someone (from within the same industry) who knows you well will help too. It’ll even be better if that someone holds a senior position in a reputable company.

However, one thing that you must always make sure is that these referees will say good things about you and not the other way round. You wouldn’t want to get a referee who would back stab you. Also, always remember to ask permission from the person before you actually put their contact details inside your CV.

Last but not least, be honest in your job interview. The referees are important but they are only there to prove whatever you said during the interview is correct. They are more like the supporting casts. The main cast is you.

As for me, I’m very fortunate that I have good supervisors (former and current) who are willing to help me out by becoming my referees.

p/s…… if you don’t have any good referee…maybe it’s time to perform better in your job so that you can get good testimoninals from your bosses or even ask one of them to be your referee.

Most of us (maybe 95%) are indebted to our parents who have sacrificed a lot for us. But it’s funny that there are a majority of us who either don’t care about our parents, or we don’t dare to show that we actually do care. And there’s also this minority group of people who like to take their parents for granted.

Family and parents are 2 of the greatest gifts ever

The reason behind this? It’s either they’re selfish or they are afraid to show their true feelings.

I used to be like that (afraid to show my love and gratitude) when I was younger. A lot of people like to call me “mummy’s boy” because I stick around with my parents a lot and they tend to be quite protective. But after being called “mummy’s boy” for so many times….and sometimes even laughed or looked down by other people, I got so sick of it that I started to distance myself from my parents. That behavior hurt them a lot but they understood what I was going through and they didn’t dare to comment much or to restrict my so-called “freedom”.

Few months later, I realized my mistake. I’m glad that it just took me few months to notice, and not years like many other people did.

Currently, I stay with my parents. I told them to sell their house in Johor and move up to stay with me permanently in PJ. I love their company and I enjoy the time spent with them. I don’t deny that there are still some people who gave me a weird look (especially the girls) when they know I’m staying with my parents or when my parents called me during my lunch break.

If they ever ask, I’ll just tell them truthfully that the caller is my dad or my mum because I’m proud of it and I’m grateful for all the things my parents have done for me. If you’re not happy, jealous or envious, then feel free to do so. I do not need to ask you whether I can show my gratitude to my parents or not.

And for those who feel ashamed or hesitant to be close to their parents, or afraid to show gratitude to them….it’s time to change your mindset. Sad to say, but time is running out for everyone including your parents. If you don’t love and thank them now, when do you want to do it? 10 years? 20 years or 30 years later? Are you sure it won’t be too late by then?

During my first job in a local IT company, I used to play a lot of Warcraft and Starcraft games in the office with my colleagues. We would go to office every Saturday, work for half day and play for half day. It’s a very fun and enjoyable working culture – you work hard, you play hard.

And this kind of culture is not new in most companies since there are a lot of people (mostly the guys) who will use their company resources to play games together.

Seriously, I wouldn't mind if we have an employee like this playing game in the office

The issue here is, this is illegal. One should never use company resources to play games since it is not part of your job description. Company resources should only be used for work-related purposes and by using the computers to play network game (and to install illegal software into the computers), it can be considered as serious misconduct depending on how strict your IT support and HR people are.

To make things worse, there are people who actually play such games DURING the office hour.

Maybe this kind of behavior is OKAY few years ago but certainly not OKAY now. Remember that we’re in a recession now where many people are still jobless and more companies are trying to terminate people.

My advice to everyone – don’t give your bosses reason to terminate you. Misconduct is a serious offence and they don’t really need to compensate you for terminating you.

If you want to play games with your colleagues, spend a few bucks, go to the cybercafes.

After all….it’ll be very sad and pathetic if one is being terminated by the company …for playing computer games.

P/S … i might not be able to reply comments as often as before since i’m in the middle of a WAR. =_= din sleep for few days already…project going live.