As simple as it may seem, most of us do not have the courage to do it. “Let’s sit down and have a chat” can actually be quite a scary line when we’re trying to escape from a conflict. It’s like an official confrontation.

And yeah, most of us would just run away. We’ll keep quiet and run away from it, burying the issue deep into the darkest corner of our heart, and trying to forget it once and for all.

But will that actually fix the issue? No. It will not and there’s a high possibility that it will come back to haunt you.

That’s why I feel whenever we’re faced with issues or troubled by conflicts, it’s better to sit down to whoever is concerned and have a heart-to-heart chat. Leave your ego 100 miles away and solve the issue at hand. Respect what each other has to say and try to come out with a solution which will help everyone.

But even if there’s no solution, having a heart-to-heart chat and by just listening attentively to one another, I believe it’ll greatly help the relationship.

Because at the end of the day, I believe this world will be a better place if only everyone learns to take time to listen more, communicate more and respect each other more.

Let’s admit this, our attention (yes, all of us) span are getting shorter as compared to ….say…10 years ago? Perhaps it’s due to how we’ve been brought up (babies who watch TV often tend to have shorter attention span when they grew up), or perhaps it’s because we have too many choices thanks to the Internet.

Well, irregardless of the reasons, it is a fact that we all must admit. Just look around you and I’m sure you can find the following examples pretty easily:

• People having problem listening to others properly.
• People interrupting while others are doing or saying something.
• People getting agitated when something goes on for a bit longer than usual.
• People falling asleep during a long meeting session.
• People getting tired of a new toy which was bought few months ago.
• etc….

As more and more content come pouring onto us, our attention span will become shorter and shorter because there just isn’t enough time for us to go through every single content. In the end, we’ll spend very very limited amount of time on 1 single content before we chuck it aside and go on to the next one. And yes, content in this context can be the person talking in front of a meeting.

I know this (the amount of content pouring in) cannot be avoided at times but what can be done here is for us to be less wasteful. Pick the content carefully and give our full attention to it. Listen to the person WELL if you chose to listen in the first place. Focus on what the person in front has to say if you chose to sit in the meeting (remember that nobody can force you to do so besides yourself). Fully utilize the new toy that you have just bought…. or better, justify why you need it before buying it and remember those reasons AFTER you bought it.

And I believe that is the best we all can do for ourselves, our money, our toys and also the people around us. Be more selective and then give our full attention whenever we are engaged in something or with someone.

Oh, and as for businesses or content providers….it also means if your stuff is not good enough, you will be totally ignored. but either you try to make us look at you….or don’t try at all. It’s up to you.

Just the other day, a friend of mine said to me “Alvin, you don’t sound curious enough for a technical guy”. That made wonder, maybe what he said is right…partially right. I am not curious enough for everything. I don’t like details on some stuff that I have no interest on, or to put it bluntly, stuff which I have no use of.

There are times when I feel that we tend to focus (or want to focus) on the details of all the things in the world. It’s not bad, but it’s not too good either especially if you are someone who cannot concentrate on something 100% for a longer period of time. Remember focusing on detail A for few hours, before turning to detail B. That can be pretty unhealthy since you might end up getting nothing done. Furthermore, by focusing on so much details, it might actually take your time and attention away from the details which really matter.

My advice is, leave the details to the experts – the reviewers, writers, mechanics, electricians, etc. You don’t have to focus on everything – we’re in the Information age, remember? Focus on the details which you are interested in – the details which seem interesting and MEANINGFUL to you. Improve your expertise on it and find out whatever information you can lay your hands on. And cut down on the time spent on things which don’t really matter to you (it’s good to know how to fix the pipe, but do you it’s necessary to drill down to the materials used, or how the pipe works, etc?).

Remember, it’s not wrong to know everything but due to the fact that each of us only have 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and 365 days a year (let me know if you have more than that), there is only so much details that we can focus on. You can always go back to those not-so-meaningful details once you have plenty of free time to spare.

p/s…. businesses are doing the same too. That’s why we have all types of business outsourcing models nowadays – finance, human resource, cleaning, etc. People prefer to focus on the details of the things which matter to them because it’s just too expensive to focus on every single detail.

Let me ask you some quick questions. Are you a Toyota fan? If yes then have you ever wonder why is there so many Honda Civic on the road? Chances are, you won’t. You will notice Toyota Vios or Altis or whatever Toyotas but you will not be aware of the Honda cars around you.

Why?

Because that is what you focus on. That is what your mind is looking at and whatever your mind is looking at, will influence what your eyes are looking at.

Don’t believe me? Now, go back on the road and see if you can notice any Honda Civic cars. I’m sure you will be able to see a lot of them. Er…of course, if you’re somewhere in a dense forest and you can see a lot of Honda Civic cars, you better start praying hard. :T

This shows that our mind is a very powerful thing and it can actually decide what are the things you pay attention to, and filter the rest. This happens in our daily life too. Some people always claim that they do not have the best of things in life, and others do have. But the thing is, everyone has the best things in life except that these things do differ from one person to another.

As long as you set your mind to focus on the good things in life, I don’t see why you can’t be happy because there are just so many of those things around us.

Remember, if you keep focusing on other people’s “fortune” and not yours, then you will never learn to appreciate the things around you. The concentration and the focus are not there. Or maybe, they are there, but the target is not the right one.

So start changing your focus. See things differently. Stop focusing on what good stuff other people have and start focusing on what good stuff YOU have.

p/s…. this thing can be applied to your work too. If you have too many tasks, the one you focus on will get done easily, as compared to other tasks. And less mistakes too.

I work in KLCC area (but not sure whether I’ll still be working there few months later) and every time I go to work or come back from work, there will always be a lot of cars rushing here and there….speeding all the way. And when I reach KLCC, there will always be people walking very fast to their office.

It’s either they’re being hasty….or they’re late for work.

To be honest, I was one of them. Time passes by without me knowing it…and things that actually matter didn’t seem to matter. All I have in my mind was work, and work, and work. How to fix that issue? How to get more money? How to present it to the bosses? Even at 7.30am, my brain was already busy working for the company.

And I believe I’m not alone.

In fact, this kind of lifestyle is slowly becoming a trend in this world. We’re just moving too fast in our life. Why? Because to many people, time is a nonrenewable commodity and money, is a very rare commodity which will only appear if you work ‘HARD’.

However, most of us have forgotten the purpose of us being here, in this world – to contribute, and to enjoy life. By being so hasty, we will certainly miss out on a lot of things in life. Ever wonder where has all those DAYS gone? Ever wonder why it is weekend AGAIN? or ever wonder why everyone around us have aged so much while we’re busy chasing after money?

It’s not like those time just go disappear into thin air. These things are happening all around us but we’re just too hasty and too busy to pay attention to such ‘minor’ things.

Our life is passing by too fast, without us knowing it.

Maybe it’s time to slow down a little, and enjoy whatever we have now? Stop driving so fast or walking so fast, try to slow down a little and enjoy the air, or the blue sky, or the morning sun. Spend time with your family and not dig your head deep into the big pile of files.

It’s time to make a change, and it’s never too late to do so.

Last but not least, remember that life is not about rushing here and there. It’s about enjoying the things this world have for you……. but if you’re moving too fast, it’ll be impossible for you to notice them.

So, do slow down once in a while. No point being too hasty