Here’s an example. At the age of 25, Kim started working as a chemical engineer (just an example, chemical engineer’s job might not be that unhealthy at all). The pay was very high but she realized that the job and the environment were very bad for her health. So she set a target – to quit by 30. By that time, she should have enough savings to start her own business, or to start fresh in another industry.

5 years later, Kim turned 30. She has been promoted to senior chemical engineer and was leading a team of 10 people. Her salary more than doubled compared to 5 years ago. Yet, she realized that she could not survive in this kind of hazardous environment for long. So she told herself, 3 more years, and she should have enough money to achieve financial freedom.

At 33, she encountered a harsh reality – she has too many commitments, her health was deteriorating, and she no longer has the energy and drive to start something new.

Kim was trapped by her own indecisiveness.

This story sounds all too familiar eh? It’s something which will most likely be faced by majority of the world’s population today.

We all know it’s very difficult for some people to take that first step especially when it involves in lesser income and especially when you have tonnes of commitments. However, nobody says that you need to quit everything in order to make the first step. Doing self-learning at home is also considered as a first step, albeit a small one.

But one thing to bear in mind is that, no matter what you do, you should always think for the future. So what if you’re getting paid a lot NOW, do you think you can last for another 5 years? What if your company decides to retrench you? Will you be able to survive with the skills you have now?

And most importantly, will what you do now help you move closer to your goals (be it financial freedom, another job, own business, etc)? If no, then why are you still doing it? Is it because you’re afraid to make that first step? What are the obstacles in front of you? Try to identify them and remove them one by one.

Remember that if you don’t remove the obstacles, you will never be able to start making that first step. And if you don’t take the first step, you will never reach your goals. By the time you know it, it could be too late already. We only live once.

Let’s look at the 2 options we have here.

• The job could be your dream job with dream pay and with good salary. Everything about the job is good. But it’s in the States which means you will be 12 hours away from your family. And you can’t migrate all of them over. It’s just not feasible and pretty impossible. You can only fly back to visit them once in a while (since flight ticket is not really cheap). So will you leave your family behind and go for this dream job?
• Or do you think that no matter what kind of dream job you have been offered abroad, family and loved ones will always come first. Who knows what might happen in the next few years? Maybe you won’t get to see your aging parents or maybe your Miss or Mr Right (your life companion) will not wait for you that long? Will you abandon that dream of yours in order to stay put and be with your loved ones?

I think the option you choose will largely depending on what kind of person you are, whether you are more of a career person or a family person. And when you make this kind of decision, don’t consult other people because they will make you more confused. For some, money and prospect are above everything else so they will definitely tell you to go for the job. What could be worse than rejecting an opportunity that thousands of people failed to get? And for some, they are just not as adventurous. To them, what could be worse than living alone in a foreign land?

But at the end of the day, you should ask nobody but yourself. Because only you know what you want in life. I’ve seen and heard people who regretted going abroad when they realized they did not get back in time to see their critically-illed dad/mum – and yes, this kind of regret would carry on forever for most people. But I’ve also seen people enjoying themselves in foreign countries and living their dreams.

For me, I just can’t stand to see my family sad. They will never say No if I were to ask for their opinion because no parents would want to be an obstacle to their children’s future. But I also know that most parents would want their children to be around them. That is why I chose to stay here and learn to appreciate what we have around us. After all, opportunities are still there for the taking and dreams are still achievable irregardless of where you are.

Take on the world eh? I’m sure 20 years after that, most of us would say that reality is harsh and it’s not easy to take on the world at all. All those dreams and ambitions we used to have as little kids are fast becoming our past. Some of us have actually forgotten ourselves – the “us” from 20 years ago, the “us” that used to think we can take on the world and the “us” who wanted to become scientists, artists, lawyers, etc (policemen and teachers for some).

What happened to those dreams and ambitions? Are you actually living those childhood dreams and ambitions? Or reality is so harsh that you don’t think you can ever achieve those again in this lifetime?

Yes, reality is harsh, no doubt. Many people are jobless and poverty is on the rise. But I also believe that many of our childhood dreams and ambitions are not that difficult to achieve. Things like spending time with beloved parents (yes, that’s one of my childhood dreams), visiting Old Trafford, going to UK, being a comic artist, etc. All those are achievable. They just require you to work a little bit harder than usual. Not that difficult right?

So the next time you think about your childhood and the fun you used to have, do spend some time to think about the dreams/goals/ambitions as well. Some of those things are the things that actually make you come alive. And by working towards them, you might actually bring in a whole new meaning to your life now.

Last but not least, I want to say that line again – “those childhood dreams and ambitions of yours, most of them are achievable. So go and make them possible”.

For example, just a few days ago, I posted my artwork in a local forum. I was looking for tips and guidelines as to how I can improve my art. I know it’s bad. After all, it’s been a while since the last time I used my cheap drawing tablet. But the reply I got was very demotivating – “Seriously, for your age, your art is very very bad”.

Actually, the person didn’t mean any harm but when you first read the message, you’ll have the idea that he is saying “you are too old to do this”.

It was very demotivating at first. But after a while, I cleared it off my mind because I feel that one is never too old to pursue one’s dreams. We see this in a lot of people, people who are very frustrated with their boring 9-5 jobs that they quit, and move on to pursue their dreams. And I’m not talking about people in their 20s or 30s, I’m talking about people in their 40s or more. Some people do that while in their retirement age.

Perhaps that explains the recent success of Susan Boyle, who at 40+, finally manages to achieve one of her lifelong dreams. A lot of people see themselves in her – people who have this unfulfilled lifelong dreams, hidden inside their heart for years. And she just shows everyone that it is still possible to do that no matter how bad things are (jobless, etc) as long as she believes in it.

So to those who are already not very young, but still have their lifelong dreams hidden somewhere within them…..don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. And the good news is, you can pursue those dreams of yours no matter how old you are. Remember that it is not age that matters, but your will to achieve what you want to achieve in life.

As for me, I have many dreams to pursue (ok, I’m greedy when it comes to this) and I will not give up no matter how old I am. After all, I only live once.

In a way, it’s true that in order to be successful, one needs to work harder than usual. However, the meaning of the term “work hard” has often being misinterpreted. Most people think that working hard means you need to dedicate an awful amount of time into whatever that you are working on – be it your day job, personal projects, pursuing your dreams, etc. But that doesn’t take away the fact that each of us has only 24 hours a day (do tell me if you have more than that).

So what does this mean? It means your work life balance will be gone. You will spend more time in your work than other things. Your relationship with the people around you might become sour since you just do not have enough time for them. This is all because of one reason – you need to work hard in order to be successful and achieve your dreams..or at least, that’s what most of us believe in. If there’s no hard work, there’s no success.

But if you’ve been doing this all this while, I can only say “Good for you, but sorry to say that should not be the way”.

In my opinion, success should not be associated with the “hard work” that we all know. Perhaps it’s better if we redefine the term “hard work” to “100% focus“.

I notice that most often than not, people who claim they are working hard, are distracted by other less important things. They can spend 14 hours a day working on something, but in between that 14 hours, they basically spend 4 or 5 hours doing something which is entirely unrelated. Things like reading articles, nonsense emails, blogging or anything which is not directly in line with the direction. These things should be ignored. You can do them when you’re free.

So here’s the equation:

success = hard work

hard work = 100% focus

success = 100% focus

Remember that even if you are working 14 hours a day, it cannot be regarded as “hard work” if you are actually not giving 100% focus to the things that matter. So stop complaining to people that you need to work so hard (thus neglecting your work life balance) in order to achieve certain objectives. Start looking at what are the things that you normally do in that 14 hours. Cut out what is not necessary and focus on what is important. I am pretty sure that you can actually achieve work life balance again after that.

And replacing those unnecessary things with a proper work life balance (like accompanying your loved ones, or do some gardening, yoga, etc) is definitely a good thing to do.

Last but not least…… always remember that you are human and not a machine. Work life balance IS very important. So start focusing on the things that matter…get done with them and turn your attention to yourselves and the people that you care.

p/s…. and of course, luck, opportunities and circumstances also play an important role in achieving success. but that’s another topic altogether.

People tend to focus on the success (the one with glass casing) and neglect the mistake...but that's not actually the right thing to do. By the way, the guy is not me.

Well, not that there’s any problem with such content.

The thing I’m wondering about is that why isn’t there a motivational book which focuses on mistakes and mistakes only? Maybe there ARE such books but they are surely not that popular. Hmm, I thought learning about the mistakes made by others is actually more important than learning about how successful people become successful? After all, the ways to success can be quite different from one individual to another, but the mistakes to be avoided can be quite similar.

Furthermore, making mistakes do make us learn more so that we won’t repeat them. If that’s the case, isn’t it nice to know what kind of mistakes have been made by others in the past, so that we will try to avoid them or at least know what to do when we’re faced with them?

Unfortunately, this is not what most people want to know. People love to read about successful stories and idolize these successful individuals. The thought of Warren Buffett making some silly mistakes just doesn’t materialize in their mind. But is that true that Warren Buffett does not make silly mistakes? No. Everyone does at some points in their life. It’s just that others do not want to focus on the mistakes.

Besides that, it’s also because motivational books are meant to represent hopes. By reading these books, I do hope that I can be like these great and successful people. That’s why I need to read how they succeed which is something positive, and not how they could’ve failed due to their silly mitakes. That’s just too demotivating to read!

Demotivating it might…but they are still very useful in my humble opinion.

Hmm…maybe someone should come out with a series of books about mistakes and mistakes only. It’ll be nice to see the mistakes made by Steve Jobs, rather than how he became successful.

Lost and don't know where to go?

To a certain extent, I have to agree with both Prad and my sister. I’ve walked down this path before and I know how it feels. Honestly speaking, when you’ve lost interest in the things you do, you will start to feel that your life is becoming meaningless especially when you are pushing yourselves to work, just to earn enough money to survive. But sadly, that is how this world is. Some people can actually give up everything to pursue their passions and dreams, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The question is “Are you willing to take that risk?”

For me, I wouldn’t do that, even though my interest is still drawing, comics, animation, etc. Why? Because it’s too risky especially when the world is undergoing a global recession. Furthermore, I have knowledge in IT which I don’t think I should waste it. What I’m planning to do this year is to keep my day job and also to work extra hours to pursue my dreams – combining what I like most (activities which require creativity) and what I know most (IT).

Okay, let’s cut the crap about me and my evil plan to conquer the world. Here’s my advice to those who are facing such situation including our friend Prad.

• Don’t quit your day job because it’s too risky. If you are going to go into something new, you will have to start from zero. Do you have the means to survive?
• Are you sure your passion will remain your passion after making it a full time job? Grass may seem greener on the other side but it’s actually not that green. That’s why you should try it during your free time or as a part time job, and see if you really like it. Don’t take the jump until you’re sure you’ll like it.
• Getting bored with your current job might not mean that you hate your current industry. Example, if you are bored with IT, that does not mean you’ve lost all love for it. Try find things which will trigger your interest again and also try to mix around with people who will help boost your self confidence. Being confident with your own skills will help a lot in deciding whether you like or dislike your job.
• Also, if you do feel that your job has no objectives and meaningless, it could be something to do with your company and the way your company manages people. A company without direction will not be able to keep the employees motivated. Everyone needs a reason to work hard and to be productive…and money is not really a good motivator – it is good, but there are others which are much more efficient.
• Think for yourselves and don’t be influenced by others especially those who have not walked down that path. If you’re surrounded by negative people or people who only know how to talk, you must think of a way to ignore their words and to motivate yourselves. Your boredom and demotivation might be caused by them, not by your lack of interest in your job.
• If you know someone who has walked down that path before, then seek their advice but don’t get overly influenced by them. Treat their advices/opinions as guidelines, not instructions. After all, what turns out okay for me might not be okay for you.

After all the points above, if you are still thinking of making a big change like jumping into a brand new industry, then by all means go ahead. Just make sure you plan ahead properly and do it without regret. I do believe that at the end of the day, all the dots will connect with each others. After all, things do happen for a reason.

And remember that, you can ask other people for opinions but in the end, you are the one controlling your own destiny. You have the final call.

Good luck and hope it helps.

One of my 2009 plans - keep fit !

Here are some of my plans for 2009:

1. Have an emergency fund (I don’t have one yet ).
2. Improves my financial net worth by 5% to 10% (the higher the better of course).
3. Spend more time with my family members and be a good son and brother.
4. Stay healthy and fit by going to the gym more regularly (which I’ve failed due to the project urgency =_=).
5. Start developing some useful IT products and share them with other people.
6. Contribute more to charity such as blood donation.
7. Earn more from online. Currently not earning much =_=.
8. Improve my creative skills – drawing, designing, creative writing, etc.
9. Learn more about other investment types in Malaysia.
10. Have an idea (or more) on the type of business I plan to start in a few years time.
11. Read more and more non-fiction books!

As you can see, some of those plans are pretty challenging but I don’t see them as impossible. In 2008, I’ve set some ridiculously difficult goals and ended up not achieving any of them. This year, I’m more realistic and I do believe all the above can be achieved. Just need to be more hardworking.

Actually, I intend to write my predictions for 2009 but….I ended up writing too much!! So I’m going to put it into another separate post.

Source: www.chessbase.com

For example, during my school years, I participated in a lot of chess tournaments and if you are familiar with the game, you should know that each player has to plan ahead in order to predict what the opponent’s subsequent moves are. And sometimes, you might predict the opponent to move to A, so you moved to counter it only to realize that your move actually blocked off a lot of his plans unintentionally. I’ve done this before and what happened then was that this “move” of mine was supposed to block off his bishop…. and that was exactly what I have planned. However, the same “move” actually managed to block off his knight and pawns AFTER his next move. Did I plan for that? Not really since that latest move of his was outside my prediction (I wasn’t a very good player). My move just happened to block his pieces by accident. And my first response after his move was ……a wide grin (uncontrolled).

Yeah, the opponent was kinda pissed after that (because of my wide grin and his mistake).

Anyway, I believe this does apply to other parts of our life too – including our businesses, jobs, relationships, or any thing which is unpredictable. However, I must admit that good fortune does play an important role here because without it, even your so-called perfect plan (to achieve your goal) will not work.

So if you think all the great achievements in the world are planned to be that way since the beginning, maybe you can think again. And if you think your plan will only lead you to one and only one goal, you should think again too. But the most important thing which you must realize is …… without making that first step and without being there to see for yourselves, you will certainly not be able to get this kind of accidental achievement.

Last but not least, do remember to be flexible too because if you’re not, you will not be able to grab the opportunity which is in front of you…and the opportunity might be the one which will reward you with the accidental achievement.

To summarize, these are the things you need to do in order to stand a chance.

1. Plan what you want to achieve.
2. Change your initial goal to something higher.
3. Make that first step.
4. Be flexible and change your plan accordingly as you progress.

Hope it helps.

p/s…. I was debating with myself whether to choose great success/achievement or just “great things”. In the end, I got tired of arguing with myself and chose great achievement. Sorry if it’s actually a wrong choice of word.

p/s…. been really busy nowadays. Got involved in the social committee of my company (the only few survivors left in the commitee). Currently busy preparing for the annual dinner next Friday. At the same time, I’m rushing for a project. =_=

My question to you now – ever since you entered the working world (or should I say…joining the “rat race”), have you ever gone back to the passions that you hold so dearly in the past?

Sadly, most of us don’t. We’re too busy to do that. Furthermore, passions won’t generate money for us…we need money to survive. That is why we will work and work and work. When we’re free, we’ll escape to other entertainment or short-term pleasure to satisfy ourselves. We’ll start spending on clothes, gadgets, this n that. But soon, those things will not appear attractive to us anymore and we’ll repeat the cycle of buying new things to satisfy our “wants” and “needs”.

And some of you might say that you have kids to take care of whenever you’re free. Work + kids = no time at all? I know it’s hard, but you still need time for yourselves NO MATTER WHAT. Never ever neglect yourselves or your own soul because that is important. Remember the safety message used by many airlines – “Take care of yourselves before you care for others”. So you need to be in good condition in order to ensure those under your care can be in good condition as well.

How can you do that? How can you fulfill your soul’s needs and wants?

Return to your passions. Simple eh? Spend time on it. Just a few hours each week and I am pretty sure you’ll feel relaxed and happier…provided the things you do are indeed your passions.

I’m not sure whether you believe what I said…….but i believe that each of us has a calling in life, and that is the passion that we’ve been searching for….the one true purpose of our lives. Like myself, my passion is to create things using creative means. It could be story writing and drawing, which I’m doing and enjoying now. I always feel happy when I do those things. Maybe those are the activities which feed energy to my soul…the much needed energy after a week’s work in the office.

That’s why i’ve been telling people, never ever give up on your passions, irregardless of how dire your situation is or how busy you are. Go find out what are your passions and do them. You might not earn money from those, but you will earn the much needed energy.

AND if you can earn some income from there, it’s even better!