Ever heard of the saying “If we don’t start, we’ll never arrive”? I’m a strong believer of this saying. Unfortunately, most people are too fearful of taking that first step towards their goals.

Here’s an example. At the age of 25, Kim started working as a chemical engineer (just an example, chemical engineer’s job might not be that unhealthy at all). The pay was very high but she realized that the job and the environment were very bad for her health. So she set a target – to quit by 30. By that time, she should have enough savings to start her own business, or to start fresh in another industry.

5 years later, Kim turned 30. She has been promoted to senior chemical engineer and was leading a team of 10 people. Her salary more than doubled compared to 5 years ago. Yet, she realized that she could not survive in this kind of hazardous environment for long. So she told herself, 3 more years, and she should have enough money to achieve financial freedom.

At 33, she encountered a harsh reality – she has too many commitments, her health was deteriorating, and she no longer has the energy and drive to start something new.

Kim was trapped by her own indecisiveness.

This story sounds all too familiar eh? It’s something which will most likely be faced by majority of the world’s population today.

We all know it’s very difficult for some people to take that first step especially when it involves in lesser income and especially when you have tonnes of commitments. However, nobody says that you need to quit everything in order to make the first step. Doing self-learning at home is also considered as a first step, albeit a small one.

But one thing to bear in mind is that, no matter what you do, you should always think for the future. So what if you’re getting paid a lot NOW, do you think you can last for another 5 years? What if your company decides to retrench you? Will you be able to survive with the skills you have now?

And most importantly, will what you do now help you move closer to your goals (be it financial freedom, another job, own business, etc)? If no, then why are you still doing it? Is it because you’re afraid to make that first step? What are the obstacles in front of you? Try to identify them and remove them one by one.

Remember that if you don’t remove the obstacles, you will never be able to start making that first step. And if you don’t take the first step, you will never reach your goals. By the time you know it, it could be too late already. We only live once.

If given a chance to work abroad for long period of time, will you take it even if it means leaving your loved ones behind for many years? This was the question which confronted me when my friends asked me why didn’t I consider working permanently in the UK last time. It was not a difficult decision for me but I can tell you, it can be a very tough one for some people.

Let’s look at the 2 options we have here.

• The job could be your dream job with dream pay and with good salary. Everything about the job is good. But it’s in the States which means you will be 12 hours away from your family. And you can’t migrate all of them over. It’s just not feasible and pretty impossible. You can only fly back to visit them once in a while (since flight ticket is not really cheap). So will you leave your family behind and go for this dream job?
• Or do you think that no matter what kind of dream job you have been offered abroad, family and loved ones will always come first. Who knows what might happen in the next few years? Maybe you won’t get to see your aging parents or maybe your Miss or Mr Right (your life companion) will not wait for you that long? Will you abandon that dream of yours in order to stay put and be with your loved ones?

I think the option you choose will largely depending on what kind of person you are, whether you are more of a career person or a family person. And when you make this kind of decision, don’t consult other people because they will make you more confused. For some, money and prospect are above everything else so they will definitely tell you to go for the job. What could be worse than rejecting an opportunity that thousands of people failed to get? And for some, they are just not as adventurous. To them, what could be worse than living alone in a foreign land?

But at the end of the day, you should ask nobody but yourself. Because only you know what you want in life. I’ve seen and heard people who regretted going abroad when they realized they did not get back in time to see their critically-illed dad/mum – and yes, this kind of regret would carry on forever for most people. But I’ve also seen people enjoying themselves in foreign countries and living their dreams.

For me, I just can’t stand to see my family sad. They will never say No if I were to ask for their opinion because no parents would want to be an obstacle to their children’s future. But I also know that most parents would want their children to be around them. That is why I chose to stay here and learn to appreciate what we have around us. After all, opportunities are still there for the taking and dreams are still achievable irregardless of where you are.

No matter how old we get, part of the small boy/girl within us will never go away. We still like to play some of the kiddish games we used to play when we were kids. Guli, layang-layang, hide-n-seek (it’s much harder to play that now though), etc. Those games never get old! And by just talking about it with some friends actually bring back all the sweet memories….memories which happened 20 years ago when all of us were just kids – kids who felt that we’re ready to take on the world!

Take on the world eh? I’m sure 20 years after that, most of us would say that reality is harsh and it’s not easy to take on the world at all. All those dreams and ambitions we used to have as little kids are fast becoming our past. Some of us have actually forgotten ourselves – the “us” from 20 years ago, the “us” that used to think we can take on the world and the “us” who wanted to become scientists, artists, lawyers, etc (policemen and teachers for some).

What happened to those dreams and ambitions? Are you actually living those childhood dreams and ambitions? Or reality is so harsh that you don’t think you can ever achieve those again in this lifetime?

Yes, reality is harsh, no doubt. Many people are jobless and poverty is on the rise. But I also believe that many of our childhood dreams and ambitions are not that difficult to achieve. Things like spending time with beloved parents (yes, that’s one of my childhood dreams), visiting Old Trafford, going to UK, being a comic artist, etc. All those are achievable. They just require you to work a little bit harder than usual. Not that difficult right?

So the next time you think about your childhood and the fun you used to have, do spend some time to think about the dreams/goals/ambitions as well. Some of those things are the things that actually make you come alive. And by working towards them, you might actually bring in a whole new meaning to your life now.

Last but not least, I want to say that line again – “those childhood dreams and ambitions of yours, most of them are achievable. So go and make them possible”.

When I tell people about my dreams to start an animation studio and to produce a graphic novel which can be turned into a movie, I get mixed responses. Some people will encourage me and provide moral support. These are the people who I can trust and people who I believe will be with me throughout my journey. But there is also a large number of people who will tell me that I’m too old for that, or it’s too late to change, or worse….Alvin, grow up.

For example, just a few days ago, I posted my artwork in a local forum. I was looking for tips and guidelines as to how I can improve my art. I know it’s bad. After all, it’s been a while since the last time I used my cheap drawing tablet. But the reply I got was very demotivating – “Seriously, for your age, your art is very very bad”.

Actually, the person didn’t mean any harm but when you first read the message, you’ll have the idea that he is saying “you are too old to do this”.

It was very demotivating at first. But after a while, I cleared it off my mind because I feel that one is never too old to pursue one’s dreams. We see this in a lot of people, people who are very frustrated with their boring 9-5 jobs that they quit, and move on to pursue their dreams. And I’m not talking about people in their 20s or 30s, I’m talking about people in their 40s or more. Some people do that while in their retirement age.

Perhaps that explains the recent success of Susan Boyle, who at 40+, finally manages to achieve one of her lifelong dreams. A lot of people see themselves in her – people who have this unfulfilled lifelong dreams, hidden inside their heart for years. And she just shows everyone that it is still possible to do that no matter how bad things are (jobless, etc) as long as she believes in it.

So to those who are already not very young, but still have their lifelong dreams hidden somewhere within them…..don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. And the good news is, you can pursue those dreams of yours no matter how old you are. Remember that it is not age that matters, but your will to achieve what you want to achieve in life.

As for me, I have many dreams to pursue (ok, I’m greedy when it comes to this) and I will not give up no matter how old I am. After all, I only live once.

Many people associate success with hard work. Our parents have told us so. Our relatives have told us so. And even our teachers have told us so. But how true is that?

In a way, it’s true that in order to be successful, one needs to work harder than usual. However, the meaning of the term “work hard” has often being misinterpreted. Most people think that working hard means you need to dedicate an awful amount of time into whatever that you are working on – be it your day job, personal projects, pursuing your dreams, etc. But that doesn’t take away the fact that each of us has only 24 hours a day (do tell me if you have more than that).

So what does this mean? It means your work life balance will be gone. You will spend more time in your work than other things. Your relationship with the people around you might become sour since you just do not have enough time for them. This is all because of one reason – you need to work hard in order to be successful and achieve your dreams..or at least, that’s what most of us believe in. If there’s no hard work, there’s no success.

But if you’ve been doing this all this while, I can only say “Good for you, but sorry to say that should not be the way”.

In my opinion, success should not be associated with the “hard work” that we all know. Perhaps it’s better if we redefine the term “hard work” to “100% focus“.

I notice that most often than not, people who claim they are working hard, are distracted by other less important things. They can spend 14 hours a day working on something, but in between that 14 hours, they basically spend 4 or 5 hours doing something which is entirely unrelated. Things like reading articles, nonsense emails, blogging or anything which is not directly in line with the direction. These things should be ignored. You can do them when you’re free.

So here’s the equation:

success = hard work

hard work = 100% focus

success = 100% focus

Remember that even if you are working 14 hours a day, it cannot be regarded as “hard work” if you are actually not giving 100% focus to the things that matter. So stop complaining to people that you need to work so hard (thus neglecting your work life balance) in order to achieve certain objectives. Start looking at what are the things that you normally do in that 14 hours. Cut out what is not necessary and focus on what is important. I am pretty sure that you can actually achieve work life balance again after that.

And replacing those unnecessary things with a proper work life balance (like accompanying your loved ones, or do some gardening, yoga, etc) is definitely a good thing to do.

Last but not least…… always remember that you are human and not a machine. Work life balance IS very important. So start focusing on the things that matter…get done with them and turn your attention to yourselves and the people that you care.

p/s…. and of course, luck, opportunities and circumstances also play an important role in achieving success. but that’s another topic altogether.