I recently came across a simple story which is actually pretty meaningful.

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, ‘There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs – millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!’ So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, ‘Well… where are all the frogs?’ The farmer said, ‘I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!’

Most of the time, problems seem to be bigger than they really are. Why? Because our mind made them so. We “over think” or worry way too much….more than necessary. But for most cases, we have no control over such problems and worrying about them do not change things for the better. Instead, it will only make things worse and it is very draining on ourselves.

The funny thing is, we worry so much….and could not sleep well….but when we really managed to get some sleep and wake up the next time, the problems will somehow become not-so-big. What seemed to be big and overwhelming problems the night before, might end up being something small and unimportant.

I know it’s easier said than done because I myself worry too much at times over things I have no control over. And I know how draining it can be. It’s something most of us need to learn – to stop spending too much time worrying over things we cannot control and to realize that when we really take a closer look at those problems, they might not be as serious as we initially thought they are.

A good friend of mine once told me this – even if we don’t keep in touch after this, know that you will still be in my heart. Well, I do believe so, but the relationship will never be the same again after some time. Why? Because in every relationship, be it with your spouse, partners, family members, friends or business associates, communication plays a very very important role.

The lack of communication will cause other side effects. If you don’t communicate often, you will start to guess. There will be a lot of MAYBEs in your mind. Because without talking to the other person, you will never know what that person is really thinking and what is actually happening to that person.

Source: http://www.nyrealestatelawblog.com

Let me give you a simple example. You cared for a friend (let’s assume it’s a HE here) who was undergoing a difficult time in his life. You tried to call him up and chat but he refused to talk. You have no idea what else you could do. A lot of assumptions would cross your mind….was he really okay? What happened to his job? What happened to his family? Was he angry or disappointed of something you did? Did you do something which betray him? You could go on and assume but you would not have your answer without talking to him. So the lack of communication between you and your friends would produce a lot of guesses and assumptions….and potentially misunderstandings and arguments.

That is why I always feel that communication plays a very important part of our life. True, there are people (like myself) who at times, cannot really express myself well….but I feel, no matter what, all of us should try. Because trying is better than not trying at all. And to try is definitely better than getting involved in a misunderstanding with someone you care.

So have you been keeping in touch with your friends? Have you been communicating properly with those you care? Do you have someone in your mind that you really want to call and chat? Why not just do it? Call them up. Ask them how have they been. Start to communicate with the people you care about. Talk to them. Listen to them.

As for me, I’m glad that I’ve managed to keep in touch with few of my old friends. Just met up with an old friend of mine a few days ago…someone who I did not contact for 2 years. Glad to have done that.

p/s…. she appeared in 1 of the comics i posted in 2008. I think some of you might have read it.

Do you still remember what were you thinking when you were a 12-year-old? Maybe you were thinking what would it be like, when you grew up to be an adult one day? With all the freedom that you would have, you would think that sky would be your limit. And each passing day, you would pray that, the day would come for you to become an adult and take on the world.

Well, you are most probably an adult now (don’t think my blog is suitable for kids). So what’s next? Is being an adult really that fun? Are you being troubled by all the work stress, politics, family issues and most importantly money problem? Do you have the feeling that….how nice…if you can reverse the time and be a kid again? Trouble free life ~

The thing is, nobody can turn back time. Not until someone comes out with a time machine that works….but even then, it might not be a good thing. So what you can do now, is to live in the moment. Do what you have to do NOW. You can no longer be the 12-year-old you. Yeap, no point complaining how nice it would be if you can live as carefree as the 12-year-old you.

Also…bear in mind that….when you were 12-year-old….you wanted to be an adult….and when you are an adult…you look back and think of all the nice time you had back then. Now my question to you is….20 years down the road, when you are 40, 50 or 60….do you think you will look back at the you NOW and think “how nice if I can reverse back the time…and be the me back then…and work hard enough to pursue my dreams….and treat everyone around me kindly” ?

Think about it.

It’s been a while since I last wrote something in my blog. The postings that you’ve seen for the past few weeks, were written weeks ago.

Well..reason being, I was feeling down recently due to a personal issue. It was a mess which I’ve created myself… and I must say, I went quite deep this time. I put too much hope too soon, and got hurt pretty badly. So it took me a while to get back to my former self. I’m fine now, so not to worry.

A lot of my friends have been very patient and nice to me. They talked to me, comforted me, gave me encouragements and spent a lot of time just to listen to me. Thanks to all of you who have been there for me. You know who you are.

Anyway, the issue is not really as bad as I thought it is. Yes, it’s all over now, but the outcome is better than I expected it to be…so it’s not all that bad. Also from this incident, I realized that there really are a lot of good and true friends around me who care about me. I’m really a very fortunate person

As one of my friends told me….life is short and unpredictable (he lost a good friend few years ago…it was very sudden), so we should move on with our life and be nice to ourselves. Life tends to throw us down every now and then, and it is up to us whether to get back up or not. It’s okay to just sit there, whine, complain and cry…. but every second we spend sitting there, will be gone forever. So don’t take too long to get back up because there are still a lot of things in life that we can do and many of our dreams yet to be fulfilled.

So, learn to love yourself. Be nice to yourself. And you’ll surely notice a difference in your life. I know, because I’m doing that right now.

This is a message to myself, and everyone out there.

Sometimes, we would do the same thing over and over again. Repetition. Yeap, that’s the word. But why would we do something like that? Perhaps it is to make ourselves better at something? Perhaps it is to follow what other people say “practice makes perfect”? or perhaps, it’s the easy way out? After all, we’ve done it before….so, doing it again should be easier than doing something new altogether.

No matter what the reason, repeating ourselves too often, in my humble opinion, might not be good all the time. If you are trying to improve your skill at something, or trying to learn up a new stuff, then YES, repeating is good because it is something constructive. On the other hand, if you are doing something destructive, repeating it is not healthy at all and it certainly won’t bring you any good.

Always remember that repeating over something is to make that something better, stronger and BIGGER. It applies to constructive repetition, AND also destructive repetition.

Take myself for example. Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I will try to find a few good friends online and tell them what had happened. They would listen and give me their opinions. Sometimes I do feel better after telling one or two people….but there were times, when I would end up telling 4 or 5 people. What happened then? I felt worse! I could feel I’m becoming more negative than before because I kept reminding myself of that negative feeling. I’m repeating myself and subsequently building up that negative feeling.

That’s why I decided to stop that. Nowadays, whenever I feel down or moody, I would just find 1 or at most 2 friends to talk about it. I do feel better and I can see what are their opinions on that particular issue. I will try my best not to tell more than 3 people. If I ever do that, I will start asking myself, why am I doing that and what do I intend to achieve by telling so many people? Sympathy? So yeah, stop at 2 and just forget the issue altogether. Wash it away. Start focusing on other more important things in life.

I’m not sure if this helps you, but I’m currently practicing this and I find it to be quite useful. Because I seriously believe that repetition should only be used to build up something useful and constructively. Destructive and negative stuff? Say it out and throw it away.