I came across this story few days ago, and want to share it here.

Bob (fictional character)’s grandfather passed away few months ago. During the funeral procession, they had to drive through the city area and very few cars bother to slow down and let them pass, even though they have the funeral flags. They spent quite a long time trying to squeeze through the bad traffic. And when they’ve came out from the city area, and as they were passing a construction site, a group of construction workers looked at them, took their hats off, let them pass and stopped working.

It’s a sad story but I can see it happening in a lot of places in this world. Heck, I even witnessed an ambulance (with siren on), struggling to squeeze through the heavy traffic in China! Nobody, and I mean NOBODY wanted to give way.

Sometimes I do wonder, is it really that difficult to have a little more respect for one another? What is there to lose, if we just slow down or even stop our car, to let the funeral procession to go through? Can’t we even pay our last respect to the person? Is whatever we’re doing really matters THAT MUCH?

To be honest, I seriously doubt a few seconds of delay to whatever we’re doing can be catastrophic.

So people, perhaps it’s time for us (if you’re not doing it already) to slow down and take notice of the people around us, strangers included. Learn to notice that they are there, and learn to have respect for one another. Remember that the best gift you can give someone is your time, even if it’s for 3-5 seconds.

p/s…. Hmm, now that I think of it, I personally feel that the give way to an ambulance, if not for the fear of getting traffic summonses from our police officers.

Nowadays, I notice that people tend to ‘see’ only those who are close to them – family, friends, relatives, colleagues. They will not notice, or even care much, about strangers. We see that everywhere we go – aunties fighting with other strangers during sales, people fighting over a car park in a crowded shopping complex, driver A not allowing driver B to cut in even though B has put signal light on, people walloping all the food in a buffet lunch and leaving nothing behind for others, etc. In most of the cases, people will think like “who cares what this fella thinks? I don’t even know him!”

Well, things might be different, if this “fella” is your friend. You will be more courteous…A LOT MORE courteous. Because you don’t want this “fella” to go around telling other friends how ruthless and rude you are. Am I wrong?

Selflessness. I think everything falls down to this particular word. Where has our sense of selflessness gone? Selflessness to not only our friends, family and people we know…but to strangers, our fellow human beings, people we meet on the road, people we meet in the train, and people we bump into inside the lift.

Perhaps the next time we meet with a stranger (except those who looks like conmen), we should try not to be so hostile? Try not to think of the person as a selfish idiot and treat him/her with respect. A very simple thing can be when you are in a lift, you can always be the last person to go out….and keep the lift door opened. Or, on the road, when a driver is desperately trying to cut into your lane to exit or whatever (with signal light on), there’s no harm to let him pass. Because to be honest, I don’t see how we can lose out on something by behaving so. Simple courtesy, no? And all these are part of being selfless too. Leave food for those who have yet to arrive….or take the amount of food that we can finish, etc. Simple stuff like these can matter a lot to others.

Try doing few of these things, and you’ll feel that …it’s actually not that difficult and your temper will actually be better. Because, at the end of the day, you will start asking yourself “what is there to lose if I let him pass?” ….and the answer is most likely be “nothing”.

Let’s try to make this world a better place, shall we? A world where everyone can practice selflessness.

As simple as it may seem, most of us do not have the courage to do it. “Let’s sit down and have a chat” can actually be quite a scary line when we’re trying to escape from a conflict. It’s like an official confrontation.

And yeah, most of us would just run away. We’ll keep quiet and run away from it, burying the issue deep into the darkest corner of our heart, and trying to forget it once and for all.

But will that actually fix the issue? No. It will not and there’s a high possibility that it will come back to haunt you.

That’s why I feel whenever we’re faced with issues or troubled by conflicts, it’s better to sit down to whoever is concerned and have a heart-to-heart chat. Leave your ego 100 miles away and solve the issue at hand. Respect what each other has to say and try to come out with a solution which will help everyone.

But even if there’s no solution, having a heart-to-heart chat and by just listening attentively to one another, I believe it’ll greatly help the relationship.

Because at the end of the day, I believe this world will be a better place if only everyone learns to take time to listen more, communicate more and respect each other more.

Money has fast becoming one of the most important things in the life for a lot of us. And for some, THE MOST important thing. Some of us use this money to buy things for ourselves, and for our loved ones – our spouse, kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Because we feel that, when we buy things for people, they will become happy….and when we see they’re happy, we’ll be happy too.

Theoretically speaking, yes.

But let’s imagine the following scenario. You bought a brand new mobile phone. It probably cost you around $3000. So on the first week, you went to have dinner with your relatives. As you were chatting with your brother, his son took your phone and played around with it. Then his daughter went to snatch the phone from him….and they two started to fight….and they dropped your $3000 phone right in front of you.

Fortunately, your phone can still be used…but with a large crack on the LCD screen.

What will be your reaction? Well, if you are like most of us out there, you will be furious! What are these kids doing?! It’s your hard-earned money and thanks to their playfulness, it’s gone! So you go on and unleash your anger on them, scolding them right in front of everyone.

Imagine the emotional damage you would’ve done, if you really did that. The wound would be so deep that they no longer dare to play while you’re around. They’re just kids after all. And they are your precious niece and nephew.

Yes, it’s difficult because our society trains us to focus more on things, and less on people. But are things really so much more important than people? I seriously doubt so.

So the next time someone you really love and care about, breaks one of your precious things….. don’t erupt in anger. Keep your cool. Stay calm. You still need to tell the person you’re slightly disappointed but it’s not really a big deal. Don’t unleash your wrath on the person as if he/she just destroys your world….because he/she didn’t. It’s just a THING.

Remember….every new thing will become old even if nobody breaks it…. but an emotional wound will likely stay there for a long long time…. much longer than that mobile phone of yours.

This lesson is something I’ve learnt from the late Prof Randy Pausch. He talked about this in his book “The Last Lecture”. A recommended read.

Hope it helps.

When something screws up (or to put it bluntly – when shit happens), we are quick to point our finger at others. Anyone but us. Why? Because if it is something bad, it got to be a mistake made by someone else. Why blame ourselves and start feeling bad for ourselves? Nobody likes to feel bad. So just point our finger to someone! Simple as that.

Some of us love to do that, and some of us do that all the time. This is a very bad habit because we jump to conclusion and accuse someone of a mistake he/she made. This mistake can be something trivial…. and yet, we tend to make a big fuss out of it.

Just look at how some bosses penalize their subordinates over some small mistakes. A missing word, a wrong font type, a technical glitch, etc. Something small which can be fixed within minutes and yet, some people just love to make a big issue out of it. What about the school teacher who blame his students for not submitting the assignment on time and punish them to stand under the hot sun for 2 hours?

A simple mistake, made into a major issue.

To make things worse, there are times when the bosses, or the teachers, realized that the mistake is actually made by them and not the people they were pointing their fingers at. Yes, we all do that from time to time. Nobody is perfect after all. But the difference here is whether we, or the teachers, or the bosses, are willing to swallow the bitter pill and admit it is OUR mistake and APOLOGIZE.

No. Most people could not bring themselves to admit it is their mistake, and even more people could not say the word “Sorry”. So we blame people over a small mistake, and later realized it is actually our own mistake….but we refused to admit it and refused to apologize.

Why? All because of this thing called EGO.

So people, learn to leave your EGO somewhere far away. Look into a problem with a clear mind, and stop jumping to conclusion. If it’s a small mistake, you can either forgive the person or just have a chat with the person. There’s really no point making it into something big. Also, if it really is your mistake, please admit it and apologize. Admit that you are wrong to blame the other person for your own mistake. Salvage whatever you can from the relationship which you’ve just damaged due to your ego.

Last but not least, remember that this does not apply only to office life, but also when you deal with your spouse, your friends, your children, your neighbors and other people in your life. Because such things, do happen a lot in our life irregardless of where we are and who we are dealing with.

Hope it helps.