Debra’s father passed away few months ago. During that time, she was all by herself. Her mum passed away few years ago, and the entire family consists of her father, her elder brother and herself. Unfortunately, the elder brother had an argument with the father and left the house. He went to chase after his dream and became a chef in a famous restaurant.

When her father passed away, she has nobody to turn to but her elder brother. Unfortunately…he could not be reached. She asked for help from her friends, my ex-colleague included and they tried to track him down. He changed a lot of jobs and to their surprise…he’s currently in Middle East…and could not be reached. So Debra was all by herself…and few of her friends who are trying to help out.

I’m sure some of you might have heard stories like this before….stories where people, due to a misunderstanding or miscommunication, or due to their own ambitions (like chasing after money, materials, etc)….. often neglect the people who are precious to them. Some even missed out on the chance to say goodbye to their loved ones…..and could only live in regret.

To be honest, this is not the first story I’ve heard. There was this lady who called to a radio station many many years ago…crying…and said that she could not bid one last farewell to her father who passed away while she was working and earning money in Europe (she wanted to earn more to give her father a better life in Malaysia). But in the end, all those money didn’t really matter because her father was no longer around.

Sad stories, yeah. But they all serve an important lesson to all of us – cherish our loved ones while they are still around. Be there for them when they need you. Any material and any amount of money does not matter as much as the welfare of your loved ones. And most importantly, make sure the decisions you make will not create a life full of regrets for you later on.

And to Debra (not her real name, and she doesn’t know me), I hope you’ll be strong. You still have plenty of good friends around.

As for Debra’s brother….it’s good to chase after his dream and ambition….but how would he feel, when the news of his father’s passing finally reached him…maybe 6 months later?

So they wait…and wait…and wait….ignoring other opportunities which appear around them.

And it won’t come as a surprise if I tell you that some people actually spend their entire life waiting for such golden opportunities. 1 year become 5 years…and 5 years become 10 years….and so on. By the time they realized, it’s all too late and they would’ve wasted much of their life waiting for nothing.

Do you want to end up this way as well?

To be fair, sometimes there’s no harm to wait for a better opportunity or a better option. But the key here is not to wait too long or become too obsessed with that one ‘golden’ opportunity. Waiting is okay, but you have to know when to stop waiting and call it quit. I know it’s not easy to give up on something you strongly believe in…but at times, that will be your best option.

Let me give you a simple example (used by the radio One FM). Lee brought Muthu to visit a client. Upon arriving at the lobby area in ground floor, they found out that the lift has broken down. Muthu, being the lazy person he was, decided to wait for the lift to be repaired since the client’s office was located at the 12th floor. Lee, on the other hand, had a feeling that the lift would be out for quite some time. So, he took the risk and used the stairs. In the end, the repairman was not able to fix the lift on the day itself and Muthu was penalized for not attending the meeting with the client.

As you can see, Muthu did not want to take the risk and grab the available opportunities. He strongly believed that the lift would return to normal soon. So he waited. Lee took the risk and went for the other seemingly better opportunity – to use the stairs. True, maybe the lift would return to normal once Lee went for the stairs but it was a risk worth taking.

Last but not least, I hope that everyone who reads this article will learn to be more open-minded and pay attention to the countless opportunities which present themselves to us in our daily life. The opportunities that we strongly believe would work might not work at all and the golden opportunity that we believe would come might not come in the end. So, there’s really no point for us to be stubborn and hold on to something which is not going to bring us anything good.

I know it’s easier said than done. But understanding such situations/cases will certainly help (at least for me).

Do you still remember when we were kids, most of us would have the ambition of becoming a scientist, a doctor, a policeman, a nurse or a teacher? These are the popular occupations for kids. And people may sometimes wonder why must it be those few and not other occupations like programmers, accountants, financial controllers, etc? Well, simply it’s because we did not know those terms yet at that time. We made our decisions based on what we knew.

Same thing goes for everyone when we grow up. We decide and we choose based on what we know at one point in time. And sometimes, we will encounter a better option after we made the decision. So, some of us would start to blame ourselves, and feel bad over that “silly decision”.

What I can say is, there’s no such thing as a silly decision. Everything happens for a reason. If you never try, you wouldn’t know that the first decision you made is actually not a good one. And also, if you haven’t try the new and seemingly better option, how would you know that it will actually be better?

So before you make a decision, think about it and ask yourself plenty of questions. Will you regret? Do you think you can live without this option? Or do you think you should wait for other better options? Maybe you should go out and explore the world. Learn more things, gain more experience and meet more people. That way, when the time is right, you will know whether the option in front of you, is actually the right one.

Until then, don’t rush into making a decision.

p/s…….. but if you really made a decision and it seems to be a wrong one, just don’t worry ya. Things will be better, I’m sure. And don’t regret over what has been done. Learn so that you can prevent history from repeating itself.

p/s…….. also, sometimes exploring and waiting are good for us, but there are also times when we need to be fast and grab the opportunities which may only come once in a blue moon. So explore, think (carefully and quickly) and decide. I know it’s pretty subjective, but this is how our world works anyway.

A farmer came into town and asked the owner of a restaurant if he could use a million frog legs. The restaurant owner was shocked and asked the man where he could get so many frog legs! The farmer replied, ‘There is a pond near my house that is full of frogs – millions of them. They all croak all night long and they are about to make me crazy!’ So the restaurant owner and the farmer made an agreement that the farmer would deliver frogs to the restaurant, five hundred at a time for the next several weeks.

The first week, the farmer returned to the restaurant looking rather sheepish, with two scrawny little frogs. The restaurant owner said, ‘Well… where are all the frogs?’ The farmer said, ‘I was mistaken. There were only these two frogs in the pond. But they sure were making a lot of noise!’

Most of the time, problems seem to be bigger than they really are. Why? Because our mind made them so. We “over think” or worry way too much….more than necessary. But for most cases, we have no control over such problems and worrying about them do not change things for the better. Instead, it will only make things worse and it is very draining on ourselves.

The funny thing is, we worry so much….and could not sleep well….but when we really managed to get some sleep and wake up the next time, the problems will somehow become not-so-big. What seemed to be big and overwhelming problems the night before, might end up being something small and unimportant.

I know it’s easier said than done because I myself worry too much at times over things I have no control over. And I know how draining it can be. It’s something most of us need to learn – to stop spending too much time worrying over things we cannot control and to realize that when we really take a closer look at those problems, they might not be as serious as we initially thought they are.

The lack of communication will cause other side effects. If you don’t communicate often, you will start to guess. There will be a lot of MAYBEs in your mind. Because without talking to the other person, you will never know what that person is really thinking and what is actually happening to that person.

Source: http://www.nyrealestatelawblog.com

Let me give you a simple example. You cared for a friend (let’s assume it’s a HE here) who was undergoing a difficult time in his life. You tried to call him up and chat but he refused to talk. You have no idea what else you could do. A lot of assumptions would cross your mind….was he really okay? What happened to his job? What happened to his family? Was he angry or disappointed of something you did? Did you do something which betray him? You could go on and assume but you would not have your answer without talking to him. So the lack of communication between you and your friends would produce a lot of guesses and assumptions….and potentially misunderstandings and arguments.

That is why I always feel that communication plays a very important part of our life. True, there are people (like myself) who at times, cannot really express myself well….but I feel, no matter what, all of us should try. Because trying is better than not trying at all. And to try is definitely better than getting involved in a misunderstanding with someone you care.

So have you been keeping in touch with your friends? Have you been communicating properly with those you care? Do you have someone in your mind that you really want to call and chat? Why not just do it? Call them up. Ask them how have they been. Start to communicate with the people you care about. Talk to them. Listen to them.

As for me, I’m glad that I’ve managed to keep in touch with few of my old friends. Just met up with an old friend of mine a few days ago…someone who I did not contact for 2 years. Glad to have done that.

p/s…. she appeared in 1 of the comics i posted in 2008. I think some of you might have read it.

Well, you are most probably an adult now (don’t think my blog is suitable for kids). So what’s next? Is being an adult really that fun? Are you being troubled by all the work stress, politics, family issues and most importantly money problem? Do you have the feeling that….how nice…if you can reverse the time and be a kid again? Trouble free life ~

The thing is, nobody can turn back time. Not until someone comes out with a time machine that works….but even then, it might not be a good thing. So what you can do now, is to live in the moment. Do what you have to do NOW. You can no longer be the 12-year-old you. Yeap, no point complaining how nice it would be if you can live as carefree as the 12-year-old you.

Also…bear in mind that….when you were 12-year-old….you wanted to be an adult….and when you are an adult…you look back and think of all the nice time you had back then. Now my question to you is….20 years down the road, when you are 40, 50 or 60….do you think you will look back at the you NOW and think “how nice if I can reverse back the time…and be the me back then…and work hard enough to pursue my dreams….and treat everyone around me kindly” ?

Think about it.

Well..reason being, I was feeling down recently due to a personal issue. It was a mess which I’ve created myself… and I must say, I went quite deep this time. I put too much hope too soon, and got hurt pretty badly. So it took me a while to get back to my former self. I’m fine now, so not to worry.

A lot of my friends have been very patient and nice to me. They talked to me, comforted me, gave me encouragements and spent a lot of time just to listen to me. Thanks to all of you who have been there for me. You know who you are.

Anyway, the issue is not really as bad as I thought it is. Yes, it’s all over now, but the outcome is better than I expected it to be…so it’s not all that bad. Also from this incident, I realized that there really are a lot of good and true friends around me who care about me. I’m really a very fortunate person

As one of my friends told me….life is short and unpredictable (he lost a good friend few years ago…it was very sudden), so we should move on with our life and be nice to ourselves. Life tends to throw us down every now and then, and it is up to us whether to get back up or not. It’s okay to just sit there, whine, complain and cry…. but every second we spend sitting there, will be gone forever. So don’t take too long to get back up because there are still a lot of things in life that we can do and many of our dreams yet to be fulfilled.

So, learn to love yourself. Be nice to yourself. And you’ll surely notice a difference in your life. I know, because I’m doing that right now.

This is a message to myself, and everyone out there.

No matter what the reason, repeating ourselves too often, in my humble opinion, might not be good all the time. If you are trying to improve your skill at something, or trying to learn up a new stuff, then YES, repeating is good because it is something constructive. On the other hand, if you are doing something destructive, repeating it is not healthy at all and it certainly won’t bring you any good.

Always remember that repeating over something is to make that something better, stronger and BIGGER. It applies to constructive repetition, AND also destructive repetition.

Take myself for example. Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I will try to find a few good friends online and tell them what had happened. They would listen and give me their opinions. Sometimes I do feel better after telling one or two people….but there were times, when I would end up telling 4 or 5 people. What happened then? I felt worse! I could feel I’m becoming more negative than before because I kept reminding myself of that negative feeling. I’m repeating myself and subsequently building up that negative feeling.

That’s why I decided to stop that. Nowadays, whenever I feel down or moody, I would just find 1 or at most 2 friends to talk about it. I do feel better and I can see what are their opinions on that particular issue. I will try my best not to tell more than 3 people. If I ever do that, I will start asking myself, why am I doing that and what do I intend to achieve by telling so many people? Sympathy? So yeah, stop at 2 and just forget the issue altogether. Wash it away. Start focusing on other more important things in life.

I’m not sure if this helps you, but I’m currently practicing this and I find it to be quite useful. Because I seriously believe that repetition should only be used to build up something useful and constructively. Destructive and negative stuff? Say it out and throw it away.

And yet, many of us tend to regard these once-in-a-lifetime occasions as nothing important.

So we continue to focus on the things that we think are more important to us – work, money and fame. We throw ourselves into the endless rat race….and continue to struggle for years…..and years…… and years…..

By the time we realized it, we might have missed out a lot on those life’s important events. And nothing is going to bring them back for you. No amount of money can possibly recreate your son’s high school graduation. No amount of social status can recreate the feeling of joy when your daughter’s first child was born. And….well, you get the point.

So people, the next time your spouse, parents, children, relatives or close friends try to invite you to an event……think about it. And I do mean it. Think about the importance of the event. If you plan to skip it for something else, then what is this “something else” all about? Is it really that important? Or do you think you can put it on hold for a while and go attend that event (which could be those once-in-a-lifetime event).

Think about your priorities. Make a decision. And make sure you don’t regret your decision later on.