Unfortunately, work is work. You can feel demotivated and you can have that typical “I don’t feel like doing it” attitude, but your bosses, your customers, your competitors and the market in general are not going to wait for you. They demand you to deliver your work, whether you have the ‘mood’ to do it or not.

That’s the reality everyone of us needs to face every single day. And it’s a reality that none of us can escape from.

So rather than forcing yourself to do something or trying to escape from it, it’s way better to find other alternatives which can help you to get back in the ‘mood’. For example:

• You can try to find other source of inspiration. Sometimes, all you need is a little bit of inspiration from someone, something, somewhere. Try to read more books, blogs, talk to different people, etc. It might make you feel better with whatever you’re doing now.
• Take a break. Sometimes, taking a break from a hectic schedule prevents you from getting too exhausted. And when you feel exhausted, you won’t feel like doing anything but rest.
• Find other smaller stuff to do, but only for a short while. Never start something big when your main task has yet to be completed. And finding other smaller stuff helps you to introduce some varieties to your life. Our brain loves varieties (but not risks).

Unfortunately, time and tide wait for no one. In such a competitive world, if we don’t continue to work/study hard, we’ll be left out. Our feeling of “I don’t feel like doing it…”, is nothing but our own. The world cares nothing about this. I know it’s harsh, but it IS a reality.

Don’t get me wrong. I always stress the importance of getting enough rest and also taking a break from our work or job. But to constantly give excuses such as “I don’t feel like doing it…” just to avoid ourselves from doing something….is not very healthy. Such negative thoughts should be minimized especially when you’re starting your day in the morning.

And seriously, if you keep on having such an issue, perhaps it’s really time to find a new adventure in your life. Break this boring patterns of “I don’t feel like doing it”.

Then one of them said “Working under Alvin must be very stressful. You are such a perfectionist”.

My reply was “Maybe I am a perfectionist, or maybe I’m not. But I believe if we want to do something, then we should give everything we have.”

I believe this applies to a lot of people on a lot of things – jobs, life, love, family, etc. Most of the time, we just do something for the sake of doing it without realizing that we actually have the ability to make it a BIG one if we put our heart into it. For example, we’re being asked to handle an event. We can always throw in some simple activities and just get on with it. All for the sake of doing it. Or we can plan properly and make it the best event ever organized and make everyone remembers it.

If you want to do it, then do it well. But if you do not wish to do it, then just admit it. Tell others you are just not up for it. Don’t commit yourself into creating something mediocre, just because you are doing it for the sake of doing it. Leave it to others who really want to do it. I bet they can do a better job. So if you don’t feel like doing it, just do nothing and leave the opportunity to others. Don’t waste it.

At the end of the day, the decision is still ours to make. But for me, I believe that if I want to take up something, I should be doing it willingly. And by saying willingly, I must be willing to give it my all and not just do it half-heartedly. Call me a perfectionist, or even an idealist, but that’s what I believe in – “if I want to do it, do it well”.

And yet, some of them have been very successful in their life. It’s like they do not have much weaknesses to begin with. Oh, and what about those that have shortcomings or are less fortunate than a lot of us – learning difficulties, deaf, handicapped, mute, etc. Time and time again, people who are less fortunate have proved to us that they can be as successful (if not more) as well.

So what actually enables them to be so successful? What are the secrets/factors behind it? For me, there are only 3 main secrets or factors.

Luck – this is something outside our control but it is also something that we should be aware of. Just don’t pay too much attention to it.

Belief – this is very important because it helps to push you forward. Without having something that you truly believe it, you can’t go far.

Perseverance – never give up. Yes, sometimes it does pay off to give up but if there’s something that you truly believe in, you should not give up. Push on. If it fails, think of a different approach. Remember that Rome was not built in a day. It took a lot of hard work to build the entire city.

The last 2 points are very important and they go hand-in-hand with one another. If you do not have something that you really believe in, then just believe in yourself. Believe that you can accomplish the task at hand. Believe that you can achieve your ambitions. Believe in yourself because if all things failed you, you still have yourself.

And never give up. If you are not a genius or if you can’t learn things as fast as some other smarter people can, then work harder. If it takes other people just 8 hours to learn something, then you should work harder …maybe 10 or 12 hours to learn it up.

Also, bear in mind that most people prefer a hardworking + average person than a smart + lazy person.

Last but not least, I sincerely believe that being successful is not a myth and the opportunity to be successful in life is there for everyone to grab. The question is whether you have the belief and the perseverance to get it.

Hope it helps.

p/s….. some people said that i can pick up things fast, but to be honest, i do tend to spend longer time than some smart people i know. The way that I can remain competitive is to work harder.

Of course it would be ideal if we don’t need to work hard to achieve our dreams – minimal effort but tonnes of reward. Sounds cool huh? But sadly, the reality is that there’s no shortcut in this world. There’s no quick way of getting rich, no sure way to get 1st class honor, no easy way to win the girl’s heart, and no effortless way of starting a successful business.

Yes, you can argue there ARE shortcuts out there and some people have become successful due to these shortcuts. But how sure are you that’s really the case? Are you sure these people did nothing but using the shortcuts? No additional efforts at all? Most often than not, these success stories have been made up in order to make you believe in them. The truth is that these individuals did make a lot of additional efforts in order to be where they are now – and perhaps, making you believe them is one of the efforts.

And if there really are shortcuts, those shortcuts can be rather risky. For example, you can try to cheat in exam if you want to get first class honor. But you should also know that once you’ve been found out, you’re practically screwed and chances are, you will be left with nothing – not even your degree. So if you still think it’s worth taking the risk, then good luck.

Same thing goes for all the shortcuts that you wish to take. The risks are there and they can be quite big risks. Think about it and decide whether it is worth it to take such high risks, or just try your best and work for your dreams without taking any shortcuts. For me, working hard for my dreams sound like a more interesting and safer thing to do. Furthermore, I am not someone who believes in shortcuts. They just don’t seem to exist in my life (so far).

Yes, I was angry. Angry not because she told me I can’t do it. I do know my own capabilities pretty well and it’s obvious that with my current skills and experiences, I will not able to secure a managerial opportunity. This, I know clearly and probably better than everyone else. What I was really angry of was the way she replied me.

Imagine this, you have this big idea and have a solid plan on how to make it happen. Then you approached a friend, only to receive a blunt reply from him – “you cannot do it”. That’s very demotivating, isn’t it? I do understand that some people do seriously think that you cannot do it, but rather than pouring cold water on you, maybe it’s better to encourage you in a nicer way or at least explain to you why he thinks it’s a bad idea? Because at the end of the day, the reason you approach your friends and family members is to ask for their support or opinions.  Not to make yourself feeling more depressed and demotivated. That is why something such as “you cannot do it”, is the last thing you should hear from someone close to you.

The same thing should also be done when someone approaches you to talk about his plan, dreams, goals, etc. Be a good listener even if you cannot help. Just be there and LISTEN. If you feel like telling him what you feel about the whole thing, put it in a nicer way. Give your honest assessment and also some ideas as to how you think the person can solve the problems that you’re worried about. Don’t ever say “you cannot do it” or anything which holds no meaning other than to demotivate the person. Because if you want to demotivate the person, then you’re better off not saying anything because you won’t be helping the person at all.

I know that whatever I’ve said here is pretty obvious and anyone with common sense should be able to realize it. But I also know that to realize something and to do it at the same time, can be quite difficult for some people. For this group of people, they need to realize how much weight their words carry and what are the impacts their words have on the life of other people. If they sincerely want to help, then don’t demotivate people. If they don’t want to help, then just shut up.

Conclusion, I believe that friends and family members should always be there to help and support each other. If someone approaches you to explain his plans, goals and dreams, that means he trusts you and you should respect that trust. Help him out. Motivate him. Explain to him. If you cannot do all those, then the only thing you can do is not to demotivate him.

So what should you do then? What if you really want to get a promotion?

To begin with, you can refer to Damien’s “Idiot’s guide to getting a promotion“. It’s a good guide which teaches you how to manage a list of to-do and discuss it with your boss. This list can also be considered as the “requirements for getting promotion” list. Feel free to read through it.

After that, the conversation with your supervisor should have been completed. By then you should be able to know if the company has any plan to promote you, or if they think you are too good to be promoted. If it’s the first case, then congrats, you can stop reading here. If it’s the second case, please proceed

The next sensible thing for you to do is to ask yourself if you are indeed too good in what you do that you cannot be replaced. If yes, what is it that you are so good at? Is it something which can only be applied to your current job? Or is it a skill which you can still use once promoted? Identify the skills and see how you can apply them after you are promoted. If the skills cannot be ‘reused’, then is there a way to train up other people? How long do you think it will take to train someone up to be at your level? And do your bosses agree to such a transition?

Try to get the answers to those questions and hopefully it will be clearer to you whether it is possible to have a promotion in your current company, or not. If it’s not possible, then it is really your call to either stay or to find another job which allows you to have a promotion. Oh yeah, 1 more thing, always remember that a good company should never ever rely too much on a person. For a proper company, nobody is irreplaceable. It is just a question of whether they want to replace you (and the amount of time spent on the transition), or not.

Wrong wrong wrong. Ideas can come from anyone in a healthy environment. If you have some ideas which you think have not been implemented and might be able to help improve things, then do voice out. Perhaps you can voice out to your supervisor if you’re afraid to approach the top people. Start small, maybe just introduce it within your team and see how it goes. The important thing here is to share your ideas especially if you have seen them becoming successful in other companies.

For example, whiteboarding or brown bag session, 360 degrees performance review, etc. Useful ideas that you have experienced in your previous jobs can also be introduced in your new company.

Remember that you are in a company to contribute to the business in any ways possible. Furthermore, you will be able to leave something significant and useful for others to learn and spread the next time they switch company.

An angry customer threatening to sue the company he used to love because the salesman did not tell him the important terms and conditions, or a motivated employee who decided to resign from his so-called ‘dream’ job once he realized a lot of the promises made during the interview could not be materialized.

Yes, we’ve seen and heard about all such examples. And all of them are due to (in one way or another) this reason – the failure to set the right expectations.

You can argue that it is the customer’s fault (or the interviewee’s) for not asking the proper questions. Yeap, you can definitely do that, just like what most people did. The thing is, this same group of people always end up finding themselves with a pissed off customer or an extremely demotivated employee. And the end result is not going to be the win-win situation everyone wants to achieve – for the customer, he will spread the negative comments (well, you don’t really need to care if your product is so good that everyone will still flock to your shop) and stop buying from you…..and the employee will also spread the negative comments and go look for another job. Either way, it’s definitely not good outcome for both parties in the long run.

Why do they (the customers and the employees) behave this way? Speaking from experience, it’s because we feel betrayed by the people/companies we trusted. Let’s say we buy an expensive product from you. We thought about it for a very long time and finally decided to buy it. We asked A-Y but missed out on Z. And you assumed you don’t have to tell us about Z just because we didn’t ask about it. Big mistake. If Z is important, then you should tell us about it. If you don’t, and once we found out about it, we’ll be very angry.

That’s why I always believe in setting the right expectations. It’s part of being a good salesman, consultant, interviewer, customer service officer, etc. Heck, I can even say it’s part of being successful in life!

So always always remember to set the right expectations and stop assuming people know about it just because they never ask. If you feel it’s important, then say it out. Set the right expectations before they make their decision. Remember that you should be helping them in making the right decision, and not trying to cheat them into making one.

p/s…. I understand that sometimes it’s not possible to clear all their doubts and set all the expectations right… so if you are unsure what kind of expectations to set, try to look at what are the important things that they should know. Things that they will be very pissed off if you don’t tell them about it. Things like conditions, clauses, possible contracts or bonds, etc.

p/s…. I’m writing this post because I became a victim twice in a month just because the salesman did not set the right expectations. I asked many many questions and they assumed I would know the few important points (clauses, missing software, etc) which I did not ask. Yes, I was pissed and they received a lot of lectures from me.

All of us have a role (or roles) to play in this world especially to our family and society. If everyone starts to think about creating values for the society, I am very sure together we can make this world a better place.

Here are some simple examples to get you started:

• Recycle
• Donate blood
• Encourage people to donate blood
• Teach others things that you are good at / share your knowledge
• Motivate people
• Make people laugh
• Help out those in need including your customers
• Start a motivational blog
• Stop eating shark’s fin
• Organize sporting events to promote healthy living
• Turn off the tap if you’re not using
• Turn off the lights if you’re not in the room

And the list can go on and on and on. But these are very simple examples which should be good enough to get you started. The more ‘advanced’ examples would be things like how your current job can contribute to the society or are you creating things which can improve the life of others, etc.

Or are you just trying to protect yourselves and reap off benefits just for yourselves? If that’s the case, don’t you think it’s time for you to do your part for the society?

I understand that not every job can contribute to the society especially those in the financial sector. But if our own job can’t do that, then we just have to spend some of our personal time to do it.

Remember that it’s never too late to start creating values for the society. Simple acts could go a long way.

Let’s look at the 2 options we have here.

• The job could be your dream job with dream pay and with good salary. Everything about the job is good. But it’s in the States which means you will be 12 hours away from your family. And you can’t migrate all of them over. It’s just not feasible and pretty impossible. You can only fly back to visit them once in a while (since flight ticket is not really cheap). So will you leave your family behind and go for this dream job?
• Or do you think that no matter what kind of dream job you have been offered abroad, family and loved ones will always come first. Who knows what might happen in the next few years? Maybe you won’t get to see your aging parents or maybe your Miss or Mr Right (your life companion) will not wait for you that long? Will you abandon that dream of yours in order to stay put and be with your loved ones?

I think the option you choose will largely depending on what kind of person you are, whether you are more of a career person or a family person. And when you make this kind of decision, don’t consult other people because they will make you more confused. For some, money and prospect are above everything else so they will definitely tell you to go for the job. What could be worse than rejecting an opportunity that thousands of people failed to get? And for some, they are just not as adventurous. To them, what could be worse than living alone in a foreign land?

But at the end of the day, you should ask nobody but yourself. Because only you know what you want in life. I’ve seen and heard people who regretted going abroad when they realized they did not get back in time to see their critically-illed dad/mum – and yes, this kind of regret would carry on forever for most people. But I’ve also seen people enjoying themselves in foreign countries and living their dreams.

For me, I just can’t stand to see my family sad. They will never say No if I were to ask for their opinion because no parents would want to be an obstacle to their children’s future. But I also know that most parents would want their children to be around them. That is why I chose to stay here and learn to appreciate what we have around us. After all, opportunities are still there for the taking and dreams are still achievable irregardless of where you are.