People always think that they do not need to make too much of an effort in order to maintain a relationship, be it with friends, colleagues, spouses or business partners. But the truth is, if you don’t make an effort to maintain or improve the relationship, then the relationship will become from bad to worse. As simple as that. Relationship, in any forms, should never ever be 1-sided.

Let me give you an example. I think I’ve read this story from gapnap’s blog. I’ll modify it slightly since I can’t really recall the exact storyline.

Once upon a time, there were 2 good friends living together in a small village – let’s call them E and F. E was a very smart and cunning person but he was a bit lazy. So for most part of his life, he needed F’s help to do everything ranging from work to studies. F on the other hand, was a true friend. He was honest and most importantly, he loved to help his friends in need especially E who also happened to be his childhood friend.

After graduating from their university, F went on to become a well-respected doctor. E, being his ambitious self, started a pharmacy on his own. But he did not have enough money and clients, so he requested F to help him. F helped, without much hesitation. Few months later, E decided to grow his business and opened another pharmacy….and he went to F for help again. This process repeated itself, all the while E has been draining F’s energy.

Then something happened, F was involved in a legal case filed by a former patient. He was innocent, but the legal case did ruin his reputation and caused him a lot of money. He was depressed. And at that time, E did not offer help but instead, he asked for help from F again for his 3rd pharmacy. F was beginning to feel tired and told E that he did not have enough money and energy to help anymore. E was furious and yelled back at F “but you are my best friend!! We’ve known each other for so long, and we’re real brothers! How could you abandon me like this?” And E stormed off. Since then, E has never contacted F. F was disappointed by E but could not do anything as he himself was too tired to do anything.

Sorry for the lengthy story. I believe that most of you have heard something like this before, where one friend tried to squeeze everything from the other friend without even contributing anything. And not just in terms of friendship, there are plenty of good examples where customers tried to squeeze everything from the suppliers or bosses trying to demand 200% commitment from their employees while only delivering 50% of their promises. Things like this do happen and most often than not, they don’t end up well.

So to stop things from ending badly, it’s best if people can start to contribute more to any relationship they’re in. Fulfill more promises, catch up with more friends, have lunch appointments with subordinates, etc. Try to bridge any gap which has been formed in the past. Make the relationship a 2-sided one.

But also remember that if you’ve done your best to bridge the gap, and still there’s no similar response from the other party, then it’s time to cut it loose. This particular relationship is going to be too expensive for you to maintain in the long run, just like any 1-sided relationship. So just cut it off and focus on others.

Recession is nearly over (or at least, this is what most of us believe). For the past 1 – 2 years, we’ve seen many companies closed down and all of those which survived are franctically cutting cost (still). Cost cutting is not wrong but the definition of the so-called cost cutting is, in my humble opinion, not clearly defined in most companies.

How many times have we heard about such a scenario:

The big boss decided to reduce working day from 5 days week to 4 days week, removed the optical and dental allowances, and stopped the food and drink supply in the pantry. All these things have to be done in order to save the company from being closed down during this difficult period.

The big boss then flew to another country for business purpose, on a business class, and used the company credit card to have expensive meals. He also ordered the purchase of several high-end office equipments which were practically useless. Expenses shot up.

In the end, the company still did not do well and was forced to close down due to the high expenses. The big boss went on to find another job as the ‘big boss’ in another company and the best thing was, his bungalow and luxury car were safe.

In case you’re wondering about the shareholders, well, most of them don’t really look into all the details.

I’m sure some of you have experienced or have at least heard stories like the one above. Truth is, there are just so many bosses out there who don’t walk the talk. They’ll ask you to cut cost, but the cost cutting measures are not applicable for them.

The result? Almost everyone will end up unhappy due to the unfair treatment and this will actually force some good people to leave (maybe forcing people to leave without compensating them is part of the plan). If you’re one of the bosses, the next question is do you care about it?

If yes, perhaps there are few things that you really need to work on.

• Know that your responsibility as the boss is to grow the business, not (just) grow your own pocket.
• Earn respect from your employees. A boss who is not respected will not have good employees.
• Understand that what kind of employees you have depends on what kind of boss you are.
• Always walk the talk so that your people trust you. Too much empty promises will not do you good.

But well, I know it’s hard to do the things above. It’s just that, sometimes when the bosses or the company’s top management decided to cut cost by retrenching people, pay reduction, etc …maybe they should think about the entire cost cutting plan thoroughly as many people will suffer due to their decision. And having a bunch of top management people enjoying champagne and driving BMWs just add salt to the wound of those cost cutting victims.

Perhaps, in the end, the main question to the bosses is, do you know what are your responsibilities as a boss?

What happens when a workaholic employee works with a slacker in the same team, for the same project?

Chaos. Dissatisfaction. Misunderstanding…

… and maybe project failure if all these ill feelings are not under control.

This kind of scenario does happen from time to time and exists in most companies. The workaholic will be working day and night to complete the tasks while the slacker will still complete his tasks, but at a much slower pace. By the way, I’m not talking about those slackers who just don’t work – those people should never be in the company in the first place.

So what happens next? At time goes by, the workaholic will feel unhappy because he feels he is the only one doing all the work while the slacker will relax and do things slowly. On the other hand, the slacker will feel the workaholic is trying to show off and starts to push people around in order to follow his style. Thus, the gap between the 2 will become wider and in a small project team, this can have a very negative impact.

But is there anything wrong in this scenario? Should we blame the slacker? or perhaps it is the workaholic who is being too demanding?

In my opinion, nobody is wrong in this case provided both of them managed to accomplish the tasks on time. It’s just a matter of different mindset/mentality/attitude. The keyword here is to compromise and understand that everyone is different.

For the workaholic – he can continue to work hard and be a top performer but he should not care what the slacker is doing. If the slacker screws up, the leader/manager should be the one punishing him. And if you ever feel under-appreciated, then talk to your boss on how much appreciation/reward you think you should get and NOT on how unhappy you are that the slacker is so slow. Remember that he does finish his job, just maybe not as fast as you.

For the slacker – maybe you are the type who loves to do things at the very last minute, but do remember that there are times when things just start to go wrong. That is why some people like the workaholic prefers to do things faster. True, you might have your LIFE to go back to but you should never blame the workaholic for being…a workaholic. It’s just his style. And as long as your boss is comfortable with your style, then there’s no problem.

The reason I’m writing this post is that some friends do complain to me once in a while that they are working like shit but their teammates are not. I can only say that, leave it to the team lead or project manager. There’s really nothing much they can do. Different people have different working styles and as long as the task is completed, there’s no issue. And if the tasks are not completed……then the person to get the scolding should be the team lead/manager.

Conclusion? Respect each others in the team. Everyone is different and has his/her own working style.

p/s….. have a team of slacker, and your team will die. Similarly, have a team of workaholic is not a very healthy choice too.

Let’s be honest, most of us have either met or heard about bosses from hell. I myself have encountered 1 or 2 such individuals who are being labeled as “notorious creatures of the deep” by some of my ex-colleagues. Hmm, quite interesting term there.

Anyway, based on my experience dealing with such “creatures”, all of them have 1 thing in common – they don’t treat their subordinates or their people as human beings. They shout, scold vulgar words in public, backstab, treat their people like entities from another world (as in, cannot see them even if they are next to each other), or order their people around like dogs (hey, even some dogs have better luck!).

In my opinion, these “creatures” need to take a look at the mirror and see if they can still see themselves change and learn to treat their people as human beings. This might appear to be common sense to some, but it could also be more difficult than conquering Mount Everest. But well, let’s do it one step at a time, and start with the simple list below.

• Greet your people or acknowledge their presence – a simple “Good morning” or “Hi, how was your weekend?” is good enough.
• Let them speak out – every conversation should be 2-sided. So give your people a chance to talk and hear them out.
• Control your tone of voice – never raise your voice against your people. Try to talk and explain to them in a proper way. They’re human beings after all.
• Hang out more with your people – go out for gatherings, dinners, movie outings, etc. Try to improve the relationship. Also, remember that you are their boss in the office, but their friend when it’s outside the office.
• Remember names – try to remember as many names as possible. Calling your people by their names also shows that you remember who they are and this is much more useful than calling them by “oi” or “you”…or worse…call them with the wrong names.
• Treat your people as adults – Stop ordering your people as if they’re primary school kids. Respect them as adults who know how to think for themselves. Also, you yourselves need to behave like an adult.
• Control your ego – ego is perhaps the root of all evil when it comes to leadership. I know that some of you leaders have gone through a lot of hardships in the past but time has changed. Always put your ego away when you deal with your people.

I believe there are many more things that a leader can do in order to improve the overall working condition in the company. Some can be quite difficult, while some can be as easy as the things above.

But I do understand that sometimes, employees do demand a lot from their bosses. My advice to these bosses or leaders – if you cannot give your people the things they want, then at the very least, treat them as human beings. I am sure that that alone, will make their working experience more pleasant.

But if you find that you cannot even do 1 of the things listed above……then perhaps it’s better for you to check with your psychiatrist.

Have you ever worked with someone who leads with fear? When I mean lead with fear, it does not mean that the leader is constantly afraid of anything. It’s more like he is using the authority to lead the people under him, by constantly scolding them and threatening them – pretty much like a master and a slave. Some people call this the “military style leadership”.

But is this the right way to lead your people?

In my humble opinion, NO.

I rather lead with respect, and not fear. If your people are constantly afraid of losing their jobs (or afraid of being scolded in front of everyone in the office), they will STILL be able to work hard but the atmosphere is different if compared with people who are working for you because they love to work for you.

Totally different working environments and the end results will be totally different too. Let’s try to summarize the 2 types of leadership.

Lead with respect

• People willingly work for you
• The environment will be friendlier
• The people will be motivated and work with good morale
• Turnover rate will be lower since a good and respected leader can really keep his people

Lead with fear

• People will only work with you because they have no other choice
• The environment is quite hostile and negative since everyone is afraid to lose their jobs (or get scolded publicly)
• People will be moody and pretty much demotivated, even though they will still do the work
• Turnover rate is very very high since everyone will try their best to get out from there

From what you can see, most of the things associated with the latter are bad things and yet, there are many leaders out there who prefer to use this way. Perhaps it’s due to the way they’ve been brought up in the corporate world, or perhaps it’s due to their ego. But either way, it’s bad for the employees and also the organization itself (having high turnover rate is not a very good thing to have in any organization).

For me, the keyword here is “respect”. Respect other people and others will respect you. If you cannot even understand that simple word, then I doubt you have the rights to lead.

p/s……. and in an extremely stressful environment, the last thing you want to do is to force people to do things they don’t want. Everyone has their limits and as a leader, you need to know that.