People vs things
Money has fast becoming one of the most important things in the life for a lot of us. And for some, THE MOST important thing. Some of us use this money to buy things for ourselves, and for our loved ones – our spouse, kids, parents, siblings, friends, etc. Because we feel that, when we buy things for people, they will become happy….and when we see they’re happy, we’ll be happy too.
Theoretically speaking, yes.
But let’s imagine the following scenario. You bought a brand new mobile phone. It probably cost you around $3000. So on the first week, you went to have dinner with your relatives. As you were chatting with your brother, his son took your phone and played around with it. Then his daughter went to snatch the phone from him….and they two started to fight….and they dropped your $3000 phone right in front of you.
Fortunately, your phone can still be used…but with a large crack on the LCD screen.
What will be your reaction? Well, if you are like most of us out there, you will be furious! What are these kids doing?! It’s your hard-earned money and thanks to their playfulness, it’s gone! So you go on and unleash your anger on them, scolding them right in front of everyone.
Imagine the emotional damage you would’ve done, if you really did that. The wound would be so deep that they no longer dare to play while you’re around. They’re just kids after all. And they are your precious niece and nephew.
Yes, it’s difficult because our society trains us to focus more on things, and less on people. But are things really so much more important than people? I seriously doubt so.
So the next time someone you really love and care about, breaks one of your precious things….. don’t erupt in anger. Keep your cool. Stay calm. You still need to tell the person you’re slightly disappointed but it’s not really a big deal. Don’t unleash your wrath on the person as if he/she just destroys your world….because he/she didn’t. It’s just a THING.
Remember….every new thing will become old even if nobody breaks it…. but an emotional wound will likely stay there for a long long time…. much longer than that mobile phone of yours.
This lesson is something I’ve learnt from the late Prof Randy Pausch. He talked about this in his book “The Last Lecture”. A recommended read. 
Hope it helps.
I have the book and I haven’t finished it yet. It is the last lecture to his son, right? For this case, why at the first place the kids can play around with his phone? Did he simply put his phone? If that is the case, you take some of the responsibility as well. However, we still need to send a very clear message(perhaps not by scolding?) to the kids if they’re doing the wrong thing too.
ChampDog´s last blog ..Safest Way to Invest in Forex in Malaysia
ChampDog
3 May 10 at 7:48 pm
ROFL .
Handphone Okay lah …
My shop everyday people come test guitar , painful lah if they accidentally drop it or something ..especially those RM7k 8k ones
gapnap´s last blog ..Average
gapnap
5 May 10 at 2:04 am
@ChampDog
Yeap, the book was written for his sons who were still young at that time.
I think there are better ways to teach kids than, say, scold them or punish them badly in public.
As for the responsibility thing……well, most people, even if it is their fault for putting the wrong thing at the wrong place, they will still go on and scold anyone who breaks it. :T
@gapnap
depends lo, if kids…they reli donno such things 1 mah. u scold them oso no use. what done is done. just tell them properly – be it handphone or 8k guitars.
anyway, maybe u shld try put a sign at ur shop – no kids allowed. LOL.
Alvin Lim
7 May 10 at 8:43 am
‘People Vs Things’, this post really triggers me to think. If I were the one confronting the situation above, most likely I won’t scold the children severely, but I think I will warn them not to play with my gadget in the future in a strict manner. Ya, what you shared is right, are we necessary to care more about the non-living objects than people around us? Like what you have said, anyway, ‘it is just a thing’. Thanks for this though-provoking post!
TC Khew´s last blog ..Is Your Dream Sending You a Message
TC Khew
1 Aug 10 at 10:45 pm
@TC Khew:
Anyway, it’s important to ‘lecture’ or even punish the child….but the main reason behind this should be for the child’s own good and not because you care more about the ‘thing’.
You’re welcome. I got this idea from the book Last Lecture.
Alvin Lim
2 Aug 10 at 9:22 am