Refusing to admit our own mistakes
When something screws up (or to put it bluntly – when shit happens), we are quick to point our finger at others. Anyone but us. Why? Because if it is something bad, it got to be a mistake made by someone else. Why blame ourselves and start feeling bad for ourselves? Nobody likes to feel bad. So just point our finger to someone! Simple as that.
Some of us love to do that, and some of us do that all the time. This is a very bad habit because we jump to conclusion and accuse someone of a mistake he/she made. This mistake can be something trivial…. and yet, we tend to make a big fuss out of it.
Just look at how some bosses penalize their subordinates over some small mistakes. A missing word, a wrong font type, a technical glitch, etc. Something small which can be fixed within minutes and yet, some people just love to make a big issue out of it. What about the school teacher who blame his students for not submitting the assignment on time and punish them to stand under the hot sun for 2 hours?
A simple mistake, made into a major issue.
To make things worse, there are times when the bosses, or the teachers, realized that the mistake is actually made by them and not the people they were pointing their fingers at. Yes, we all do that from time to time. Nobody is perfect after all. But the difference here is whether we, or the teachers, or the bosses, are willing to swallow the bitter pill and admit it is OUR mistake and APOLOGIZE.
No. Most people could not bring themselves to admit it is their mistake, and even more people could not say the word “Sorry”. So we blame people over a small mistake, and later realized it is actually our own mistake….but we refused to admit it and refused to apologize.
Why? All because of this thing called EGO.
So people, learn to leave your EGO somewhere far away. Look into a problem with a clear mind, and stop jumping to conclusion. If it’s a small mistake, you can either forgive the person or just have a chat with the person. There’s really no point making it into something big. Also, if it really is your mistake, please admit it and apologize. Admit that you are wrong to blame the other person for your own mistake. Salvage whatever you can from the relationship which you’ve just damaged due to your ego.
Last but not least, remember that this does not apply only to office life, but also when you deal with your spouse, your friends, your children, your neighbors and other people in your life. Because such things, do happen a lot in our life irregardless of where we are and who we are dealing with.
Hope it helps.
I think we cannot blame them because this is how the culture brought up them to be. We did something wrong, we get penalized or having a bad impression. So, who want to admit themselves are wrong?
For my own principle, making mistake is okay but not making the SAME mistake TWICE or more which is unacceptable and needs to be avoided. As long as a person can learn something out of our their mistakes and do not repeat them, it should be fine.
Now, a very interesting question is: should you admit your mistake if NO ONE knows you’ve made a mistake?
ChampDog
26 Apr 10 at 8:33 pm
@ChampDog
Yea, our society created us this way and it takes one to be very brave in order to do something outside the ordinary – which, in this case, is to admit their own mistakes.
Mmm, but seriously, i don mind admitting my own mistake even if nobody knows. It’s actually a note/warning to myself that ….now other people know…so let’s try not to repeat this in the future.
And, well, just be honest and be brave to admit your own shortcomings. I know to some people, this means stupidity. but that’s just me.
Alvin Lim
26 Apr 10 at 10:09 pm
+1 with Champdog . I can’t stand myself making a same mistake twice.
@Alvin.But we can’t be “over humble” and “over admit our own mistakes” at the same time too…
Its super annoying .Chicks hate that too..haha
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gapnap
28 Apr 10 at 1:48 am
“the teachers, or the bosses, are willing to swallow the bitter pill and admit it is OUR mistake and APOLOGIZE.”
I think parents too.
Your take on ego is quite true. I dun think many of our parents (those in their 60s to 80s) would admit their mistakes and say sorry to their children. I guess it’s ego or the way they were brought up.
But i’m sure times are changing. Many younger people esp. men are more like Alvin now. Sorry should not be the hardest word to say, eh…:)
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The Working Gal
30 Apr 10 at 3:29 pm
@gapnap
mmm, balance kua. over humble shows you are not confident with yourself. so there needs to be a balance (again). but yeah, if i keep making the same mistake, i’ll start to blame myself. LOL. coz only idiots keep making the same mistakes
@The Working Gal
They just don’t seem to understand that at times, admitting your own mistakes is the best course of action. That’s why we always see people fighting with each other in companies…just because their egos are so big. =_= and yeah….same thing happens in the family…if the children and the parents are egoistic.
In the working world, there are still a lot of those who prefer to let their ego rule over themselves, even the younger ones.
Honestly, i really don see any harm of saying sorry. but one thing people need to be careful of is….don’t make sorry the easiest word to say.
Alvin Lim
1 May 10 at 10:17 am