Alvin Lim – The Dreamer

Chinese New Year is the time when family members get together to have reunion dinners, gatherings, catching-up sessions, etc. But for some people, it is also the time for them to show what they have to their relatives, and if possible, make everyone else feel bad.

It happens all the time, irregardless of where you’re in (though the possibility is higher if you’re living in big cities). People will just come to your house and say things like “wow, your house is sooooo small” or “are you still driving that old junk?” or “my son got the first place in his entire school, what about your son?”. The list goes on and on.

No matter what they say, the objective is the same – to make you feel bad and to make them feel superior.

I know it’s frustrating to encounter such relatives especially when Chinese New Year is supposed to be a cheerful and happy occasion. The last thing we want is for someone to belittle us and make us feel inferior.

But hey, remember, we do have choices. We can ….

• screw the person back and make the atmosphere hostile.
• give a forced reply just to feed the person’s ego so that he/she can shut up.
• ignore the person completely.
• or, tell the person nicely that you are content with what you have.

For me, I prefer the last 2 choices. If they want to boast, or show off, let them be. By behaving this way, it shows they are insecure and they need something/someone to assure them that they are indeed doing a better job than others. Insecure people are mostly (if not all) unhappy. They can boast about the Ferrari or the 1 billion cash, but deep inside them, it’s empty and they don’t like it.

Also, if they want to compare, there’s always someone better than them. So what if you have 1 Ferrari? Some people have more than that. So what if you get the first place in your school? Someone else got the first place in the whole country! Yes, comparing with each other will never end. If you think you are good, and you want to step someone down so that you can feel superior…..always remember that there are always others who are BETTER than you.

At the end of the day, why do you even bother to show off or boast since you’re not really that great? On the other hand, someone who realizes that such comparison is meaningless, is also someone who is content with what he/she has. By being content, there’s no such need to compare and by being content, this someone is truly happy.

So the question one should ask is not whether he/she is better than others…. but whether is there really a need to compare with others?

p/s…. Oh, and if someone comes to me and tries to boast, I’ll seriously say “Good for you”, smile and walk away.

Tagged: humble, humility, Life, motivational, people, Self-help