Dare to dream !

People always think that they do not need to make too much of an effort in order to maintain a relationship, be it with friends, colleagues, spouses or business partners. But the truth is, if you don’t make an effort to maintain or improve the relationship, then the relationship will become from bad to worse. As simple as that. Relationship, in any forms, should never ever be 1-sided.

Let me give you an example. I think I’ve read this story from gapnap’s blog. I’ll modify it slightly since I can’t really recall the exact storyline.

Once upon a time, there were 2 good friends living together in a small village – let’s call them E and F. E was a very smart and cunning person but he was a bit lazy. So for most part of his life, he needed F’s help to do everything ranging from work to studies. F on the other hand, was a true friend. He was honest and most importantly, he loved to help his friends in need especially E who also happened to be his childhood friend.

After graduating from their university, F went on to become a well-respected doctor. E, being his ambitious self, started a pharmacy on his own. But he did not have enough money and clients, so he requested F to help him. F helped, without much hesitation. Few months later, E decided to grow his business and opened another pharmacy….and he went to F for help again. This process repeated itself, all the while E has been draining F’s energy.

Then something happened, F was involved in a legal case filed by a former patient. He was innocent, but the legal case did ruin his reputation and caused him a lot of money. He was depressed. And at that time, E did not offer help but instead, he asked for help from F again for his 3rd pharmacy. F was beginning to feel tired and told E that he did not have enough money and energy to help anymore. E was furious and yelled back at F “but you are my best friend!! We’ve known each other for so long, and we’re real brothers! How could you abandon me like this?” And E stormed off. Since then, E has never contacted F. F was disappointed by E but could not do anything as he himself was too tired to do anything.

Sorry for the lengthy story. I believe that most of you have heard something like this before, where one friend tried to squeeze everything from the other friend without even contributing anything. And not just in terms of friendship, there are plenty of good examples where customers tried to squeeze everything from the suppliers or bosses trying to demand 200% commitment from their employees while only delivering 50% of their promises. Things like this do happen and most often than not, they don’t end up well.

So to stop things from ending badly, it’s best if people can start to contribute more to any relationship they’re in. Fulfill more promises, catch up with more friends, have lunch appointments with subordinates, etc. Try to bridge any gap which has been formed in the past. Make the relationship a 2-sided one.

But also remember that if you’ve done your best to bridge the gap, and still there’s no similar response from the other party, then it’s time to cut it loose. This particular relationship is going to be too expensive for you to maintain in the long run, just like any 1-sided relationship. So just cut it off and focus on others.