Are you afraid of other people’s opinions and criticisms?
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Just recently, a friend of mine wrote a post called “Are you an opiniophobe?“. In this post, he talks about people who have this phobia towards opinions from other people.
Let’s face it. Not many people like opinions and even more people don’t like criticisms. Some even reject them without thinking much about them. Their brain will just keep telling them “What do they know about this? They know nothing!” or “What rights do they have to comment me like that!?” etc etc.
So they will just shut themselves out from everything be it positive or negative.
I’ll be honest with you. I used to be like that and will just shut myself out from all forms of opinions. It does sting and it’s not pleasant at all when someone just comes to you and say “whoa, your work sux big time, just give it up!” I’ve experienced it before and it can be very very demotivating. But those kind of opinions are pretty rare (they are out there somewhere, but there are rare).
What we need to do is to continue with our work (and work harder to improve ourselves). Ignore all these destructive opinions which are trying to bring you down instead of helping you. Get more constructive ones. There are still a lot of helpful people out there and they want to help you by telling you what is wrong. They have good intention.
So if you really want to be successful in the things you are doing, you must be willing to accept other people’s opinions. Learn to filter them properly but not shut them out altogether. Believe it or not, your willingness to accept other people’s opinions will dictate how far you go in your life.
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Everyone loves to be right and when it crosses the healthy line, people will get defensive over opinions.
I’ve seen people who peg their entire self-worth on being right all the time. They are dangerous people who can be prone to emotional violence. Sadly, in Asia, the culture of losing face and saving face has led to exactly that – people destroying others just to “save face” and a culture of revenge (isn’t that the theme of most kung fu movies).
In the West, you can insult someone and he’ll probably forget about it the next day unless he’s a gang member or a schizo.
If you work in a company where people around you exhibit this trait (that you must be wrong all the time and he must be right all the time) then its time for you to bail. Seriously, there are situations that you can save and situations where its better just to walk.
@ Damien
That’s what I feel anyway, but i know the truth is far from that.
Well, even if your boss is such people, you can consider changing department or just find a new job. Someone who is not open-minded or who cannot accept opinions from others, are not good bosses. Leaders should always have an open mind.
Mmm, nowadays, the trend in Asia is you insult someone, you will either end up in big trouble PHYSICALLY, or you end up with a lawsuit.
I’m willing to listen to other people’s opinion and criticism but it does not mean I agree with them.
I think everyone is entitled to his/her opinion. Learnt this as a blogger so I never delete negative comments on my blog : )
foongpc´s last blog ..Guess These Songs And Win!
@ foongpc
How to handle them is another issue.
Yea, correct. People have the freedom of speech anytime.
No – I’m not afraid of peoples honest opinions and criticism. My goal is to become always better and to come closer to this goal it is helpful to analyse feedback.
Betty´s last blog ..Sofortrente Rechner
@Betty
Good for you Betty.