What should you do if you’re the victim of your office’s gossip mongers?
Don’t be surprised if I tell you this is actually one of the many questions which I’ve been asked during a job interview. It’s an interesting question and the answer can be quite diversified.
If you were me, what kind of answer do you think you will give?
Gossip mongers just want to network with other people? Hmmm
- Will you confront the gossip monger and tell him you’re not happy?
- Confront the gossip monger and tell him the gossip is not true at all?
- Stay quiet?
- Spread another gossip to counter that gossip?
- Or start telling each and everyone you know in the office that the gossip is not true?
I know this is kind of touching human psychology but based on my personal experience, it’s not uncommon in our office life. Every now and then, there will be this group of people who have nothing to do but to spread rumors and gossip about other people. They can be quite notorious at times too, to the stage that whatever they said might actually affect your working experience. So it’s perfectly normal if you feel like confronting them and tell them off.
But is that how it should be done?
Based on my personal experience, it’s actually best to do item (3) which is to keep quiet. I understand that sometimes, the fire might get too hot and burn yourselves in the process but I also believe that if you retaliate to something which is not true, it will only make the fire stronger. So in my opinion, it’s better to make it as boring for them as possible, and they will slowly get tired of it and move on to the next target.
And I told this to the job interviewer and he was quite happy with my answer.
What about you? What would you do if you were in this kind of situation?
p/s….I’ve experienced it on 1 or 2 occasions. If it’s ruining my reputation and a colleague told me about it, I will just tell that colleague the real story. That’s all. As long as there are few good colleagues who know about the real story, I won’t really care what others think.
Hmm…meaning that ignorance is bliss? Sometimes silence is the best form of defense and offense right?
tekkaus
27 Apr 09 at 10:54 am
I’d go for #3 too. The best way to starve a fire is by denying it oxygen. Eventually the flames die out and they will move on to other things.
But for company-level rumors, keeping silent is may be a bad option. For example, if rumor has it that the company will downsize by 30% next month and its a false rumor, management’s silence could increase the fire than kill it. Honesty would be the best policy under those circumstances.
Damien Tan
27 Apr 09 at 11:02 am
@ tekkaus
Ignorance is indeed bliss
@ Damien
No need for retrenchment fees. LOL.
Well, I’ve only heard of companies spreading the downsize rumor on purpose, so that people will leave on their own accord.
But sometimes, there are rumors which tarnish the company’s reputation and these rumors should be stopped at all cost. Also, it depends on how big these rumors are. If they are not really that serious, no point going all out against them because it might just backfire.
For example, company A has this product meant for Perl programmer….considered a niche market….since not many Perl programmers left in this world.
So 1 fine day, this product is said to have some serious issues but only a group of people know that. So what the company A should do is to find out this group of people, and clarify to them. What they shouldn’t do, is to call for a press release and tell everyone in the world that there’s an issue with this product.
Funny how many companies are doing that. Whenever I see this kind of news, I’ll just go “whoa, i didn’t know they have such a serious problem!”
Alvin Lim
28 Apr 09 at 10:31 am
Usually people are keen at no. (4) tactic. it really depends wat & how serious is a rumours actually. well, usually if u are keeping quiet for all the attacks, others will use this time to defeat us either
1) u are keeping quiet because what they say it’s true OR
2) they keep on stepping u until no value & makes others deal wif u from the beginning harshly & without respect.
above example might be the rumours about a person’s personal life / high quality in job / bold attitude / potential to be promoted. even when rumours is not true BUT it still affects a presentation & impression of other colleagues.
Why would people want to gossip about you if you are the low profile one? Right? usually they like to gossip those with high profile & brave to act.
ladylike
3 May 09 at 11:36 am