Once people lose trust in you, it’s hard to gain that trust back
First impression is very important in all aspects of our life. When we go to an interview, we judge the interviewer and the condition of the company even though it’s our first meeting – first impression. When we meet a new colleague, we will pay attention to the handshake and the eye contact, that’s also considered as first impression. When you approach a new customer, whatever you say or do will become the first impression the client has on you.
And if this is the first time you come to this blog, the inconsistency of the words “customer” and “client” in the last sentence will create your first impression on me. And you probably will not trust me that much due to my inconsistency.
That’s why first impression is always important. But what is even more important is the 2nd and 3rd impressions. Imagine if you managed to build a good first impression, only to ruin it with some idiotic behavior during your second encounter. Maybe your first impression gives you a +10 score, but that idiotic behavior of yours ended up giving you -20 score. You end up with -10.
And all these things, in the end, will decide whether people can trust or rely on you. If you have a positive score in my book, I can trust you easier than those who have negative score. Try giving me a good first and second impressions, and I might trust you and tell you more things. Try screwing up in our first 3 meetings, and I can guarantee that you will not hear much from me ever again.
So if you want to make people trust you, make sure you are on the right side of the border – the positive side. Also, remember that if you get too deep into the negative side of the border, you will need a lot of efforts to rebuild the trust level.
For example, I have a friend who likes to say things which will offend people. He can go around laughing at people’s mistakes, teasing people and just talking nonsense – everyday. He even manages to piss someone off in the office by replying to EVERY Facebook statuses that person put up. He’s way too deep into the negative realm. Even if he treats us very nice now, it’s nearly impossible for him to regain our trust or for him to crawl back into the positive realm.
So if you want people to trust you, you should go out and earn that trust. Be in people’s good book. First good impression will help, but it’s not enough. Always do things which will push you further towards the positive realm.
Good luck!
yeah first impression is always important..
losing trust is always hard to gain it back
Lisas last blog post..Aquaria in KLCC
Lisa
13 Nov 08 at 11:54 am
Here’s a question I once asked my teacher. When you first meet someone, do you give him 100% trust and then let him prove how much of it he’s worthy of, or do you start off with 100% distrust and then let him earn it?
Btw, have you retired from drawing comics? Haven’t seen one of those in a while.
Damien Tan
13 Nov 08 at 5:05 pm
@ Lisa
Yeap. That’s why those friends of ours who have become annoying insurance agents will find it difficult to ask us out.
@ Damien
A good impression, maybe 60-70% trust? And a bad impression 30-40%?
Comics? Not much time for that. Busy writing online reviews and articles to earn more money. Hahaha. Read, draw (pen and paper, and I’m without any scanner) and write story whenever I’m free. Will try to draw some comic when I have more spare time.
Alvin Lim
13 Nov 08 at 7:11 pm
I absolutely agree with this statement as I’d experienced it before myself (someone lose trust in me) and I took > 2 years tried to build it back and it ends didn’t work. Therefore I looked another another solution – “quitting”. Guess you know who is the “someone” is…
So, in another perspective I always “Give” chances or opportunities to anyone whom I have lost trust to. I usually give them 3 chances before I make a decision to charge them who they actually are. First impression, yeah to a lot ppl they judge by it but for me, nope. I don’t judge by first impression as I feel unfair to misjudge people.
Sometimes we misjudge people also because of our nature of culture and I personally would like to avoid that at all…
ChampDogs last blog post..Do you press CLEAR after filing up gas?
ChampDog
14 Nov 08 at 5:05 pm
@ ChampDog
Same for me. First impression does play a role but I try my best not to judge the person just for that 1 single meeting. Everyone deserves a chance to change but some people are just too hopeless.
Well, at least you are willing to “quit”. Not many people are brave enough to do that.
Alvin Lim
14 Nov 08 at 5:21 pm
well, first impressions and trust are 2 pretty different things. You can trust someone you really like and know well 100% only to lose that trust when the person do something that betrays you later on, once the trust is lost, it is very hard to gain back. First impressions can be changed, as we too make mistakes judging the book by the cover. Sometimes we judge a person being like this, but later on as we know the person better, we discover the real character traits.
Leonas last blog post..McDonalds Kajang..where is that fantastic service?
Leona
15 Nov 08 at 11:17 am
@ Leona
First impressions and trust are indeed 2 different things. That’s why I said that first impression is important (most of us do judge a book by its cover irregardless of how much we try to deny. That’s why companies spend so much on design and colors), but what happens after that is equally important – the 2nd, 3rd, n-th impressions. If you have a good first impression, it’ll help you to score a +20 point in my book, but having bad impressions might cause you to -20 or -30.
If you’ve played the game SIMS, you’ll know. hahhaa.
Alvin Lim
15 Nov 08 at 1:52 pm