Where’s the honest feedback I need?
I was watching a Singapore TV program on Astro channel AEC. It was about a famous chef from China, currently the owner of 2 large restaurants in Singapore. He became a famous chef at quite a young age.
What happened to him was one day, he prepared some of his best dishes for 3 food pundits (erm…i don’t know what’s the correct term for such individuals). The first and second complimented him for the food, but the third actually told him the rice should be softer, and the taste not as good, bla bla bla.
Do take note that the 3rd person was complaining about the food in a positive manner, rather than saying things like “The food sux” or “You’re a hopeless cook” or “How can a human being eat this?”
Of course, just like everyone else, the chef was pissed chef’s feeling was hurt quite badly….or maybe not his feelings but his ego. He flew back to China soon after that, only to have the third pundit called him up…and told him to get back to Singapore to become the chef of a new hotel.
Many years later, the same chef prepared a special meal for the old lady in order to thank her for what she said at that time. Those harsh words actually helped him to realize that he needed to improve further. Those words actually woke him up.
Nowadays, it’s very difficult for us to get an honest feedback from other people especially those in sales/marketing. People tend to give you bullshit and nonsense what is nice to hear….and to be honest, they are also giving you what you would like to hear. But those will not help you to improve more. They will definitely make you happier for a short period of time but that’s about it. Nothing more than that. The things which will make you improve more are those harsh words….which, sadly, are very very rare in this era.
Giving people what they want to hear might make them happy and feel more confident……..but that might also add fuel to their already egoistic nature. Giving people what is good for them, might hurt their confidence…..but if they are willing to let go of their ego, and understand the true meaning of the things you said…then i believe they can really go a long way. Because that’s how we improve – to know our own weaknesses, and to correct them.
I know it’s easier said than done….but no harm giving it a try. 
Hope it helps.
p/s……..i’ve talked something similar before this – When you’re doing things wrong, and nobody is telling you that.
There is no room for egos in the field of Art, and ironically it’s one of the areas that are full of them. I really treasure friends who give me their very honest, though sometimes really hurtful, opinions. It is because of them that my drawings improved. Once you reached a certain standard, more and more people start to love your stuff and the criticisms slow to a trickle. Then it’s up to you to evaluate your own work and learn how to be honest with yourself. Comparing your work with the Masters’ is one very easy way to humble yourself. You’d be surprise how seldom we artists do even that.
The Big Movie Freak
28 Jul 08 at 10:46 am
Oh yes. A good critic can do wonders but the person listening it may or may not take it well.
seaqueen00
28 Jul 08 at 10:50 am
It’s hard you know sometimes when you want to be honest, because the opposite party might take it offensively. In the end people might hate you. So to be a critic, you have to endure all these hatred before these people finally realize your words or wisdom. =/
- c H i E n -
28 Jul 08 at 3:15 pm
@ The Big Movie Freak
mmm, i think not just in the field of Art. as long as you are relying on other people – customers, pundits, product reviewers, etc – it is better for u to put your ego far away from u. because otherwise, u will not be able to improve, and will not be able to please the people u need to please… which means u’ll end up being a big failure.
ah well, unless u wanna syok sendiri la.
@ seaqueen00
i believe being a good critic is quite a tough job
@ chien
mmm, donno ler. to me, i will try to put it in a nicer term, and i know my role (be it as a fren, family member, customer, or colleague) is just to give my honest comments …hoping that the person can improve.
if i put it in a harsh term, the person will hate me and he might not learn from it. but if i put it in a nicer term, and the person still hate me……erm… nothing much i could do anymore.
Alvin Lim
28 Jul 08 at 8:28 pm
Honest feedback by people is hard to find. Such friends are people we should be thankful for. Yet, it’s very hard on the ego to hear them saying things we rather not hear.
Still, for those giving advice: they might need to consider the character of the person they are advising. Some thick skin fella don’t mind you taruh them kau2… Some are very sensitive…they get very upset at some small comment.
BTW – I very thin skin, so *don’t* give me any honest feedback. I don’t need them. I *KNOW* I’m always right:)
[OR MAYBE NOT]
Avatar
28 Jul 08 at 9:31 pm
@ Avatar
I think it’s the same for everyone – someone gives u some honest feedback…u don like it coz it’s harsh…so u ended up getting angry……but after u’ve calmed down, when u think about it again…it’s actually something u can learn from.
and yea, some ppl tend to be very sensitive (i can be quite sensitive at times too). those cases…ermm…need special treatment maybe.
Alvin Lim
29 Jul 08 at 1:31 pm
sad but true. ppl want to get into ur good book rather than help u..
cbenc12
29 Jul 08 at 6:35 pm
but true frens tell u what u need to hear !
cbenc12
29 Jul 08 at 6:36 pm
@ cbenc12
that’s what true friends are for
Alvin Lim
29 Jul 08 at 7:44 pm