When you’re doing things wrong, and nobody is telling you that…
You should start worrying. People tell you because they care and they want you to change for the better. True, not everything they say will be true. But at least, you will still have something which you can learn from.
Imagine if nobody cares about you anymore. Nobody bothers to waste their energy telling you what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. This will make it very hard for you to improve yourself since you wouldn’t know what to change. This normally will happen if people give up hope on you.
It’s just like a company. As a new joiner, you’ll be motivated to make a difference…a change in the company. You’ll voice out your opinions and throw in suggestions after suggestions. But if there’s no changes……then you’ll gradually join the rest of the employees – keep quiet. You wouldn’t bother to voice out your opinions anymore since you’ve tried that and it’s useless. Things have become pretty much HOPELESS.
So if someone is telling you off, be glad because they still care (again, they might not be right all the time, but at least they still care).
Ahem, but please, if you are planning to tell someone off…….try to phrase it in the right way to make it sound constructive and not destructive. If you want to help the person, be constructive since it is easier for the person to absorb.
Hope it helps.
p/s… again, this lesson is something I’ve learnt from Prof Randy Pausch in his “Last Lecture”
Oh. I know how this feels. At times when your mood’s bad, any type of suggestion made to tell you that you’re doing the wrong thing for your own good, goes the wrong way at times. But it’s hard to accept and hard to tell also. Human pride. That’s the silver lining that actually prevents people from taking it in the positive way.
seaqueen00
20 Jun 08 at 8:17 am
As I was sharing in another blog, a tailgating road bully told me what I was doing wrong by giving me the finger. 10 seconds later his new AMG sports coupe smashed into a concrete divider (he was too busy flashing me his finger to see it coming) but the point is, yes he wanted me to change but for the better, I’m not so sure. I think he just wanted everyone to get out of his way.
Damien Tan
20 Jun 08 at 9:08 am
@ seaqueen00
People do have pride….everyone does. It’s just a question of how easy that person can let go of his/her pride for a moment, and think about the things happening in front of him.
That’s why i always believe that it is good to keep ur ego out of the way…and be humble.
I know i know..it’s easier said than done.
@ Damien Tan
Erm…what can he change by giving you the finger? =_= stupid people. i think our country has too many such people.
Alvin Lim
20 Jun 08 at 9:56 am
Hahah!!! Yes. Easier said than done but always worth a try.
seaqueen00
20 Jun 08 at 1:18 pm
@ seaqueen00
yeap, always worth the try. never try never know
Alvin Lim
20 Jun 08 at 8:00 pm
ya while correcting others mistake we should tel it in a right way without hurting him.but some people hate suggestion from others to do their work..
durai
21 Jun 08 at 3:29 pm
@ durai
mmm those people will need a long time to improve themselves.
Alvin Lim
21 Jun 08 at 11:18 pm
when you do something wrong..people wont tell you coz they want u die..
when u do something good..people will trying to pull you out coz they want you lost in the war..
kahoongchai
24 Jun 08 at 10:34 am
@ kahoongchai
if you choose to look at things that way, then nobody can help u much. and to be honest, if people know u r looking at things that way, not many people would dare to go near to you.
try to be more positive. if u r surrounded by idiots, then go find another place w/o idiots. i’m sure there are a lot of places u can go.
life is not about killing each others. and life is certainly not a WAR.
Alvin Lim
24 Jun 08 at 10:39 am
[...] p/s……..i’ve talked something similar before this – When you’re doing things wrong, and nobody is telling you that. [...]
Where's the honest feedback I need? | Alvin Lim - The Dreamer
27 Jul 08 at 6:08 pm
Thank God for making this blog. i mean in specific, this page. Now, i really know what to do, with the wrong things I’m doing. people keep telling me to think about it. Now i know, without a doubt. I will swallow my pride for a moment (a school year). So many thanks to whoever the people in here are. May God Bless you.
Anton
30 Sep 08 at 6:14 pm
@ Anton
Yea. Swallow your pride and see how things go. A lot of successful people were brought down to their knees due to their ego.
Glad that this post has helped u in 1 way or another. Hopefully things will turn out to be fine for you soon.
Alvin Lim
1 Oct 08 at 12:08 pm