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More and more people in our world are focusing on money and status. We work hard to earn more money, so that we can give our family a better life or, we earn more so that we can buy what we want. Some people, on the other hand, chase after fame and status. They want other people to acknowledge them and to recognize them. So they work hard to get acknowledgment.

Well, to be fair, there’s nothing wrong to focus on money, fame, status, etc. But the problem is, are we focusing a little bit too much on such things? Aren’t those the wrong things to focus so much on?

I once came across this article some time ago….I can’t really remember the content of the article except for one single sentence. Most people, when they are dying, would say they regret for not spending more time with their loved ones….and none (or not many) of them would say they regret for not earning that extra 1 million.

When I finished the article, this sentence left a mark in my mind and now that I think of it again, it does make sense. I mean, if I were to leave this world 1 day (everyone of us will, sooner or later), what will be in my mind? What kind of regret will I have (if I have any regrets)? Will it be because I did not spend enough time with my loved ones….will it be because I am sad to leave my loved ones before…..or will it be because I am sad because I leave my money behind or because I did not earn enough money, or enough fame and status while I’m still alive?

Ask yourself this question. What kind of regret you think you will have when you are about to leave this world…..and that should be the things that you should focus on. I am pretty sure most of you will not have regrets like “damn, I should’ve earned more money” or “Ah, if only I am as famous as Michael Jackson”. Erm…maybe some of you will have…but…it’s really entirely up to you.

So think about it. Of course, at the end of the day, the best thing to do is not to have any regrets at all Easier said than done, but it’s not entirely unachievable.

I recently came across a video clip in  Facebook which was about Asian culture. What the speaker said is correct. He said that Asians tend to focus too much on negative things and not enough on positive things.

It is the way we are brought up, I guess. We pay too much attention to all the bad news, the sad and tragic endings. Asked if one can remember a good movie ending in recent years, most would shake their heads and say no. But if you try to ask people about a tragic or sad ending….I believe most would have something to tell you.

I guess this is normal since our newspapers are always flooded with bad news and more bad news. Sooner or later, we will come to believe that it is NORMAL to have bad news all over the place. So we start to focus on bad news….and by doing this, the news agencies would think they need to publish more bad news in order to sell their papers.

In my opinion, it’s not very healthy. Our mentality is fast becoming more and more negative. A normal and ordinary behavior would be regarded as something bad. For example, your husband/wife has fallen sick and came back home from work. Rather than asking if he/she is okay…you would say “I told you not to sleep so late last night! Why wouldn’t you listen?” or “Told you not to drink so much”. Or when your son’s car got banged by a motorcyclist, your first response was “Told you not to go out so late at night, didn’t I?”

The more we focus on negative things, the more likely we will respond to the world in a negative way. The first thing that comes across our mind will be negative. The first word that we say will be negative.

I’m not sure about you but I do experience such things from time to time. That’s why nowadays, I don’t really read newspapers. Just browse the top 10 news for today and never bother to go into the content. I rather spend my time on the web site “Gives Me Hope” which is very inspirational and motivating.

But that’s just me and what I am doing to help myself. What about you? Do you think you’re being bothered by all the negative elements around you and are acting negatively? Have you considered of making some changes to your life to be more positive?

My friend shared with me yet another story the other day. The title of the story is “good or bad, hard to say”.

Once upon a time, there was a king. The king liked one of his followers very much because he was very wise and always gave very useful advice. Therefore the king took him along wherever he went.

One day, the king was bitten by a dog, the finger was injured and the wound was getting worse. He asked the follower if that was a bad sign. The follower said, ‘Good or bad, hard to say’. In the end, the finger of the king was too bad that had to be cut. The king asked the follower again if that was a bad sign. Again, the follower gave the same answer, ‘Good or bad, hard to say’. The king became very angry and sent the follower to prison.

One day, the king went hunting in the jungle. He got excited when he was on the chase of a deer. Deeper and deeper he went inside the jungle. In the end he found himself lost in the jungle. To make thing worse, he got captured by the native people lived inside the jungle. They wanted to sacrifice him to their god. But when they noticed that the king had one finger short, they released him immediately as he was not a perfect man anymore and not suitable for sacrifice. The king managed to get back to his palace after all. And he finally understood the follower’s wise quote, ‘Good or bad, hard to say’. If he hadn’t lost one finger, he could have been killed by the native people. He ordered to release the follower, and apologized to him. But to the king amaze, the follower was not mad at him at all. Instead, the follower said, ‘It wasn’t a bad thing that you locked me up.’ Why? Because if the king hadn’t locked the follower up, he would have brought the follower along to the jungle. If the native found that the king was not suitable, they would have used the follower. Again, the quote ‘Good or bad, hard to say’ stands.

A simple story yet it brings a good lesson to all of us. Sometimes we’ll feel disappointed, unhappy or sad when things are not going our way. And there are also times when the whole world seems to fall apart. When such things happen, there’s nothing wrong to shed tears or to feel frustrated. But once you’ve managed to calm yourself down, try to look at things from a different perspective and maybe, you will notice that things aren’t as bad as you think they were. And well….the “bad things” might end up as something good! But…hmm, something that appeared good at first, might end up as a bad thing also. So in the end, there’s really no definite good or bad things. It’s just how we look at it which determines whether they are good or bad.

I know it’s easier said than done but seriously, when shit happens, the best we could do is to remain positive and believe that there’s a silver lining in every cloud. So take it as a kind of lesson, or experience. Look at things differently and be positive. And most importantly, never give up hope. Because that is what keeps us moving.

Remember, the world is still a nice place to be, and life is still good

There are times when some people are kind to you and you are completely ignorant about it. You think it is normal for them to do so. Or worse, you give them a cold shoulder and tell them off. Few examples:

• “Why are you treating me like this? I don’t feel comfortable”
• “Why do you care so much? Even my wife doesn’t care”
• When someone asked if you want to join them for an outing, you plainly reply “Not interested”.
• Someone showering you with love, and you just take everything for granted without learning to appreciate the person. And one fine day, the person leaves your life and you start to feel lonely.

Harsh? Cold? Familiar? Definitely.

But seriously, have you ever wondered how our world will look like if there’s nobody out there who is willing to treat another person kindly? How do you feel, when you are trying to be nice and offer help to a friend…only to be treated harshly? Of course you won’t feel good.

The thing is, when people treat you kind / nice, some of them are not expecting anything in return. They are just being nice (caring, concern, etc). So why are you being so cold and take their kindness for granted? Or to make things worse, you tell them off.

“GO AWAY! I don’t need your help!” Try doing this for few more times, and sooner or later, you will realize that people around you will stop treating you kindly and will most probably move away. If this is what you wanted, then good luck to you. Otherwise, maybe it’s time to reflect on how you response to other people’s kindness.

Yes, do some soul-searching and ask yourself whether you have been treating the people who are nice to you coldly – could be your parents, your siblings, your close friends, colleagues, or your neighbors. It could be anyone. Have you been too harsh on them? Or you feel that it is their obligation to treat you well? Spend few minutes and think about it.

And while you’re doing that, try to remember this, nobody likes to be taken for granted.

Some people like to wait for the other person to make the move. They do not want to make the first move because they do not want to “lose face”. They feel that if they make the first move, they will show they are not valuable enough or they are desperate. So they wait. And wait….and wait…forever waiting for the other person to make the move.

But what if the other person does not make the move? Will you be waiting forever, for nothing? Just because of your “saving face” principle?

For example, some people do not want to make the first move to call someone they really miss because they feel if they are the one who make the first move, they will not be appreciated. And some of them even ask questions like “why must I be the one to make the call? Why not him?”

Now, the main question here is not whether you or he or she makes the first move…or whether the person who makes the first move will lose. The main question here is …. does it matter who makes the first move? If you are considering to do something, it means you have the intention and you want to achieve something. Perhaps it’s to know the person, or to ask someone out, or to confess, or even to apologize. What matters here is the end result, and not who makes the first move.

Remember opportunities don’t always come to you. There are times when you need to make the first move before it’s too late. So always ask yourselves, is it worse to lose face, or is it worse to miss the opportunity altogether?