Dare to dream !

“My job sux”. “My boss does not appreciate me”. “My colleagues are irresponsible”. “I just cannot mix well with my colleagues”. “I can’t communicate with my in-laws”. “My car is so problematic!”….or the ultimate “I hate my life”.

We hear these all the time from people. The funny thing is, these people would complain and do nothing about it. They’ll still be in the same situation a year later! It’s either they are too lazy to find a solution to their problem, or they don’t really mind about the problem at all. But then again, if they don’t really mind, why are they complaining in the first place? To release stress and frustration? Or to “let it out”, as one of my friends love to call it. Doesn’t look very healthy to me.

But seriously, do you think it’s worth it to spend so much energy into doing something destructive like complaining? If you are doing it once, then it’s fine. But most people do it over and over again! Well, my advice is pretty simple, if you are unhappy with what you are facing now, then it’s time to ask yourselves some simple questions.

• What is it that you are complaining? Your boss? Colleagues? Job? Family? Lack of money? Identify the source of the complaint.
• How long are you doing this already? Do you complain about everything? Or is there one particular thing which you always complain? And how often do you do it? Identify whether the issue is caused by something/someone, or the issue is with you and the way you look at things.
• Do you think this is healthy for your overall well-being? If yes, why do you think so? If no, how are you going to overcome it and stop all the negative energy infesting in your brain? Ask yourself if you are fine with how things are going now and you prefer to do nothing. Or perhaps you DO want to do something.
• If you want to overcome it, how do you think you can find a solution? Cut down on your expenses? Talk to your colleagues/boss? Change job? Think about multiple ways to solve your problem one at a time. Think simple and avoid complicating things.
• Or maybe you do want to change things but there are other factors which are forcing you not to make the changes? Identify those factors and also their impact on your life. Do it as soon as possible. If the factors are so important that you prefer not to change things, then try not to complain too much. The negative energy will not help you at all. And if you are determined to change things, stop complaining too. Focus your energy on how to solve the issues instead.

Life is short and I think it’s better to spend our life doing what we really want to do, and be happy. True, we have our commitments and responsibilities, so making a change can be quite difficult at times. But I always believe that we control our own fate and we build our own happiness. If we always sit around and do nothing to fix the things we don’t like (things we always complain about), those things will always be there to haunt us and make us miserable.

Complaining does not fix things. Action does.

p/s….. but if you are the type who complains about everything from the land to the sky, then you need to change. The problem most probably lies within you and how you see the world.

p/s….. i notice that this post is quite similar to some of my previous posts. guess i’m running out of topics to talk

Few days ago, I heard about this true story from someone I know.

One day, a tourist was in a trishaw, peddled by a man in his 30s. As they stopped at a traffic light on a busy street, a disabled beggar who could not walk properly approached them. The beggar first approached the owner of the trishaw (the man in his 30s) but the man refused to give him anything. The beggar then approached the tourist who gave the beggar $10. After the beggar went off, they continued their journey for about 10 minutes before reaching the tourist’s destination.

The tourist got off from the trishaw, paid the trishaw owner and said this to the owner “How could you be so heartless just now? That guy was disabled and you could’ve spared him a dollar or two.” The trishaw owner smiled but did not say anything. He then got off from the trishaw and slowly pushed the trishaw forward. The tourist immediately regretted what he said.

The trishaw owner was also a disabled person who could barely walk properly.

I relate this story here because just the other day, I was approached by a beggar who was missing his right hand. My dad donated some money to him but for me, I would not do that. He’s not that old and he CAN find a job if he wanted to.

For me, the greatest disability one could have is the lack of willpower. If you do not want to work for yourself, nobody will. And for this, I really want to give my utmost respect to a friend of mine who lost his leg but never gave up. I dare to say he has a stronger will (and more successful) than most ordinary people out there.

p/s…. I know this can be a sensitive topic to touch but just writing how I personally feel. We should only help those who are desperately in need of our help, not those who can fend for themselves.

We love to indulge in things that we can feel/taste/see/enjoy now than things that may happen in the future. For most of us, we believe in theories such as “enjoy now, worry later” and “tomorrow may never come”. So why bother to work so hard to resist the temptations, right? Might as well enjoy now!

Hmm it depends. For me, enjoying now does not mean neglecting the future. You can live our life to the fullest and plan for your future at the same time. Nobody says this is impossible. But if your “enjoyment” somehow will bring you short term pleasure, but long term pain, perhaps it’s time to change. Because not only will you harm yourself in the long run, you might bring additional pain for your loved ones as well.

One example that I can give you is smoking. Nearly all the smokers know that smoking is bad for themselves, and it is bad for people around them including their loved ones. So seeing a father carrying his baby girl in one hand, and holding his cigarette in another hand, just does not seem right for me. Is his short-term pleasure so important that he can neglect the health and well-being of his baby girl? What about the father who refuses to stop smoking and only to die due to lung cancer, leaving his 4 young children and his wife to fend for themselves? His short term pleasure, their long term pain.

So, don’t give me shit like “it’s hard to resist the temptations”. I’ve heard that countless times before. For me, it’s just a lame excuse. If those people who have been drug addicts can give up on drugs, why can’t you? And if those people suffering from famine in South Africa do not want to give up on their life yet, how could you give up yours so early? So stop thinking so selfishly. It’s not just YOU we’re talking about here, your loved ones are involved as well.

Last but not least, all I want to say is that nothing is impossible in this world. Our willpower has proven to be 1 of the most powerful things in this whole wide world. So don’t say you can’t resist the temptation or you can’t quit. Because you DO have the power to resist and to quit. Just use your willpower. Think of your loved ones and the consequences in years to come if you don’t resist the temptation now. Start saying NO to short term pleasure and NO to long term pain.

To close things off, here are some articles which can help you to resist temptations and start a new and healthier habit.

The Habit Change Cheatsheet.

Resisting Temptation.

10 Tips for Quitting Smoking.