Dare to dream !

Seth Godin said it in his blog post that we should learn how to rock for five minutes a day – You rock.

But rather than focusing on such a big scale, I would say start small. Start by thinking how you can make the people around you feel better with just 5 minutes. Observe and notice the people around you who are in need of your help. Then think of what you can help them with. You can use that 5 minutes to be a good listener, a good companion, to cheer someone up, to help get something done, or to just talk to a lonely friend. Use that 5 minutes to make a difference in someone’s life.

It might not seem to be a lot with just 5 minutes but sometimes, one does not need to go to a great extent just to make a difference. Something simple and nice would do the trick. And most often than not, 5 minutes are all you need to make that happen. Big difference, and minimal impact on your time. Ideal, isn’t it?

Of course, if you have sufficient time, you can always extend it to 10 or 20 minutes. But bear in mind that, even with 5 minutes, you are already doing much better than a lot of people in this world who care less for the depressed souls around them. Remember that the key thing here is to show that you do care.

People love to blame. When they’re not getting enough salary, they blame the bosses for not recognizing their contributions. When they’ve been retrenched by the company, they blame the company for being so ruthless. When they’ve fallen sick, they blame the chefs for preparing unhealthy food for them. And when they got stuck in a traffic jam during peak hour, they blame other drivers for choosing this time to go to work.

It’s always other people or other things. It’s always THEM. It’s never US.

That’s one of the weaknesses suffered by many of us. We love ourselves so much that whenever we make a mistake, we push it to other people. It’s easier that way isn’t it? But really, how much does blaming other people for our mistake, help us? Nothing! Maybe we’ll be relieved that it’s not really US, but only for a short period of time. And that’s about it! Oh, we also don’t get to correct our own mistakes since …well…we don’t realize it’s really US. We can’t correct something that we’re not aware of. No?

So if you really want to improve yourself, you should stop putting blame on everyone and everything. Do some self reflections. Maybe some of the mistakes/problems/errors are really caused by YOU and not other people.

For example, if you have been retrenched, maybe it’s because you are not contributing enough. If you’ve fallen sick, perhaps it’s due to the excessive food you’re consuming. If you’re caught in the jam, perhaps it’s because you choose to oversleep for 30 minutes instead of waking up in time to avoid the jam. Yes, a lot of the issues and problems CAN be avoided if we take control.

But please don’t start doing all those self-damaging thing to yourself. That’s the last thing this article wants you to do. Take responsibility is the right term here. Not pushing the blame and responsibility to other people.

p/s…. but sometimes, there are things which are so dead obvious it’s not our mistake. Well, we can blame others but for a short period since blaming others won’t help us much anyway.

Chinese New Year is the time when family members get together to have reunion dinners, gatherings, catching-up sessions, etc. But for some people, it is also the time for them to show what they have to their relatives, and if possible, make everyone else feel bad.

It happens all the time, irregardless of where you’re in (though the possibility is higher if you’re living in big cities). People will just come to your house and say things like “wow, your house is sooooo small” or “are you still driving that old junk?” or “my son got the first place in his entire school, what about your son?”. The list goes on and on.

No matter what they say, the objective is the same – to make you feel bad and to make them feel superior.

I know it’s frustrating to encounter such relatives especially when Chinese New Year is supposed to be a cheerful and happy occasion. The last thing we want is for someone to belittle us and make us feel inferior.

But hey, remember, we do have choices. We can ….

• screw the person back and make the atmosphere hostile.
• give a forced reply just to feed the person’s ego so that he/she can shut up.
• ignore the person completely.
• or, tell the person nicely that you are content with what you have.

For me, I prefer the last 2 choices. If they want to boast, or show off, let them be. By behaving this way, it shows they are insecure and they need something/someone to assure them that they are indeed doing a better job than others. Insecure people are mostly (if not all) unhappy. They can boast about the Ferrari or the 1 billion cash, but deep inside them, it’s empty and they don’t like it.

Also, if they want to compare, there’s always someone better than them. So what if you have 1 Ferrari? Some people have more than that. So what if you get the first place in your school? Someone else got the first place in the whole country! Yes, comparing with each other will never end. If you think you are good, and you want to step someone down so that you can feel superior…..always remember that there are always others who are BETTER than you.

At the end of the day, why do you even bother to show off or boast since you’re not really that great? On the other hand, someone who realizes that such comparison is meaningless, is also someone who is content with what he/she has. By being content, there’s no such need to compare and by being content, this someone is truly happy.

So the question one should ask is not whether he/she is better than others…. but whether is there really a need to compare with others?

p/s…. Oh, and if someone comes to me and tries to boast, I’ll seriously say “Good for you”, smile and walk away.